Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I Am a (Good) Homemaker

We've got people coming over tonight so we've got to get the house in order.

Not REAL order, mind order. You know the difference, don't you? REAL order is when you actually organize things and spend time getting to the root of the problem and do not ignore areas like cleaning out the fridge. REAL order is when you do actual spring cleaning and completely finish a room and feel good about it.

Company order is when you pick up and surface clean and "make it look good." Heaven forbid someone open a closed door, right?

I want to do the spring cleaning, but I'm going to have to settle for company cleaning today. Still, we have a lot of folks coming over who are not homeschoolers and I feel responsible to have our homeschool room looking really good. I hate to give a bad impression of homeschooling.

I am really feeling the responsibility of keeping and managing this home. Of being a good homemaker. S had a pretty significant job change happen this week. It's a good thing---pretty much a promotion if you will. He's just doing something totally different and I know for a while, that means more stress. I know his mind will be focused on work a lot. So I am really feeling the need to keep up with things here so that his evenings are peaceful and he doesn't have to worry about things.

I don't really feel that women are encouraged to be good homemakers much anymore. Well, despite the fact that they aren't encouraged to be homemakers at all! It's just seen as totally acceptable to just "get a maid" or to "tell your husband he can do it then!" The whole attitude for stay-at-home moms is often wrong. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having a maid--it's the whole attitude of "why should I have to do it?" If a woman works outside the home, the attitude is even worse! "How can he expect you to (fill in the blank)? You have a job too!"

For me, it isn't what my husband "expects." It's what God has said. I like to read Titus 2:3-5 in a lot of different versions. No matter how it's worded, the message is clear. We are to keep our homes. Now 6 years ago when I had a baby and a kindergarten student and was babysitting another baby, my home did not look that great. I am in a completely different stage of life now. I have 2 helpers! So yes, we must extend grace to ourselves when little ones are underfoot, or when there is sickness in the house, but not constantly be finding excuses to be a bad homemaker. We need to be good homemakers. As good as we are able to be.

Pretty hard when you weren't raised to be one, huh? I cannot believe how much better I have gotten at things these last 4 years that I've been home. I know I am not the only one who has struggled with this because I get more hits to my blog for this post than any other. Constantly, there are people googling "how to be a homemaker." Isn't that sad? Their own mothers did not teach them and now they are trying to figure it all out. I'll tell you, if I had started learning to be a homemaker in 1993 when I got married, instead of after we had been married a long time and had 2 kids....I would be better at it right now. I cannot even imagine how my house and my time might look differently!

But being a good homemaker is all for naught if I don't teach my daughters to be homemakers as well. We all know someone whose mom did EVERYTHING for them when they were growing up and then they practically had to learn to dress themeselves as adults. I can have the best house ever and if I'm not teaching my daughters...I've messed up.

And of course, if I don't show love while I'm doing it, I've missed the whole point.

Honestly, I don't "feel" like a good homemaker yet. But I think I'll start saying it anyway and then live up to it!

What area of housekeeping are you good at?
What area do you need the most help?


  1. Wonderful post. I need to extend grace to myself with a 2 year old and a full-time teaching job; thank you for that reminder. There is a balance between grace and excuse.

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  3. I like the grace thing but I just dont want to fall to heavily on it meaning I gotta NOT always find an excuse! SOOO TRUE.

    Sad thing is we had an issue with our washer yesterday so when I left for the day I didnt start somethign- worried it might leak. BUT I also didnt get home until after 8:30 and well a load never got started. The load was whites and it's a big one and this morning hubbie had no undershirt.

    SO I apologize and to make myself feel better- cuz I feel awful about it literally! I make excuses adn tell him all about my day--- he said nothing by the way.. this is all me! So I feel really guilty because I was able to have LONG discusion on feminism and why I dont "DO THAT THING" on facebook last night with some girl but I can wash my hubbies undershirts---so ALL my valid points with that woman just went OUT THE WINDOW!


    they are in the wash now- befoe I opened a blog! :)

    btw--- awesome super blogger!

  4. I really appreciated this post. In general I am just an "ok" homemaker. I definitely have areas that need big improvement (bathrooms, clutter) but what I really appreciated was your comment about teaching our girls to be good homemakers. In that aspect, I am less than "ok." You've given me much to think about it, and I thank you.

  5. it's all such a delicate balance, yes? with a constant flow of misc papers and mail, this mama could definitely use more help in keeping things tidy and organized. i haven't been able to bring myself to 'hire' out jobs in our home... my thought has always been that my girlies need to know how to do it. what message would i be sending them if we did that? no offense to those who do... i understand there are special circumstances in which those paid services would be helpful.

    great food for thought, my friend. ;)

  6. You all are so right--there is a delicate balance between grace and excuses. Carrie, please don't think your husband is the only one to ever wake up and have no clean clothes that were needed. Please. S is the charter member of that club!


I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)