In Which the Ages are Getting to Me

I'll tell you, there are SO many blessings of having kids ranging in age from 3 to 16. BUT.....sometimes it is not so good. The 12 year old and the 3 year old have especially been grating on my nerves lately. I truly understand how mothers used to say in olden times that their nerves were rattled. When I read about mothers whose nerves were rattled in old books I always think, "what a wienie." Like women who used to have to go lie down whenever something stressful happened. Please.

But as I'm typing this, the very energetic 3 year old who never stops ever not even for a nap is pelting me with wads of stuffing. They are "snowballs". About the 5th one that hit me in the face started me to twitching. Oh she rattles my nerves some days. She just has so much energy and needs so much attention and we just can't. The big girls are doing school. I'm doing school with them. Or I have to pay a bill. Or I'm trying to switch the laundry. Or I'm trying to load the dishwasher. I mean, I have played with her today. She will need more of that because she doesn't have a sibling close in age. I wish sometimes she did! I know I will need to play with her more but it's never enough. She never wants me to stop. So I have guilt about her needs.

Little Bee in the dentist chair yesterday.

And the 12 year old has issues. I mean, some things truly bother her. Today Bee was putting her hand on Little Bit's jeans. And it was making her crazy because she said Bee's fingernails were kind of scratching her jeans and it was giving her goosebumps. See? Issues. Those kind of things she cannot overlook and get over. So there is a constant balance between asking Little Bit to put up with something (I mean, Bee was leaning over on her while she fixed her show--she wasn't exactly doing anything wrong) and getting onto Bee because I know Little Bit has reached her breaking point. It's a hard balance.

Bee, Me, and Little Bit. So pretty.

And Little Bit needs things perfect. And just so. And Bee is anything but "just so." She is like a tiny Tasmanian Devil. A whirl of words and motion and movement and constant doing things. And Little Bit wants to direct her and tell her no. And tell her to watch out. And tell her to stop. And it's going to be the death of me. Of course Bee reacts to bossy sister by doing the annoying thing more.

Sigh. Hard balance.

Good news? Sweetheart got her learner's permit today! Which means I did the paperwork right! It was a huge job gathering every little thing and I'm so thankful they accepted what I had brought. Facebook friends were very helpful with the advice.

When we left the DPS office I handed the keys to Sweetheart and told her to act like she was driving home. We did it just to watch Little Bit's face. She panicked. She doesn't want to ride with Sweetheart "until she's a professional." Her words. Can't blame her. I sure wish my van had a brake on the passenger's side.

As we were at story time today before the DPS office, I was watching a mom with a newborn and a little 3 year old boy. How different her world than the one where you have a 3 year old and a driver.

Hmm.

Love them all three.

Even when Mama's nerves are rattled.

In Which Spring Break is the Middle (for some)

Well, since we got such a late start on our school year (Dad in the hospital most all summer, his funeral, recovery from that) and started after Labor Day, we are JUST NOW half-way through with the school year. Well, Little Bit is anyway. She would be a little further but we accomplished exactly one week of school before her tics reared their ugly head.

We went to a psychologist for the first time for her a few weeks ago. She's seen a neurologist twice, but the neurologist heard she had been dealing with anxiety and said the psychologist could help with that as well as the Tourette Syndrome. I was very unimpressed with the clinic, but the doctor herself was great. She said she would give grief at least a year before she would worry about treating the anxiety (which has since gone away) so that was reassuring.

Climbing on the rhino that sticks out of the building at the zoo.

The other good news is Little Bit will being doing some training this summer to learn a method which the name escapes me right now but basically it is learning to re-train the brain to ignore the tics. She said we will have to go to about 6 sessions, with homework and then we should be good. That is good news as well.

While we were at the psychologist's office, we got into a brief discussion about Sweetheart and her ADD. We had tried meds last year but they didn't work. I was telling the doctor how the doc who prescribed the meds wouldn't put her on a stimulant due to her sister having TS. She said that was ridiculous and she absolutely could have stimulants. So....to medicate or not to medicate?

OK, maybe Sweetheart can help Little Bit.

Well, earlier this week Sweetheart was going to make mac-n-cheese to go with our supper. She messed up and put the milk, butter, and noodles all in the boiling water. OK. Read the directions, slow down and think about what you are doing. Certainly not her first time to make mac-n-cheese! Then she messed it up again! That's two boxes of food down the drain if you are keeping count. The next day she messed up something else she was cooking. I made it for her the next time. That's five boxes of food we went through for 2 side dishes. She's 16 and she's pretty comfortable in the kitchen. She can make a lot of things. This really concerned me. For goodness sake one day this child may need to feed herself! If she can't even concentrate long enough to make something as simple as noodles, that's a problem! Not to mention how behind in school she is or how long it takes her to get something done. Not to mention her room.

SERIOUSLY I'm not going to mention those things!!!!!

They aren't good for my blood pressure.

Hang on, Bee. You seem to be backwards.

For now I shall concentrate on the fact that my 6th grader is half-way through with school. And I will rejoice in that.
We're gonna give "year round school" a whole new meaning this year, that's for sure.

Whew. There were about 25 other pictures in this series. They crack me up.

Why Yesterday Was Awful and OK--a List for Your Viewing Pleasure

Yesterday was awful because...

• Bee poured a huge cup of water all over the couch, my ipad, the floor, etc. 
• We were still doing school at 8pm
• S had to work on church stuff so he was pretty much disengaged all evening
• Bee won't come when called and I don't like spanking her in public. It just makes every single trip to the store or anywhere 50% harder than it needs to be. 
• Actually right now it's all harder. She doesn't want to get buckled in her car seat. She doesn't want to sit in the basket at the store. She doesn't want anyone to hold her hand. She doesn't want to walk into the house, she wants to examine every leaf in the yard. Sigh.
• It was the first day back after spring break and a wonderful vacation and I just wasn't ready to "be back." 
• I didn't sleep good. My coughing, Bee waking up, Little Bit's bad dream (all layered on top of each other of course.)
• I told the girls I was going to sack up anything in their bedroom floor and they both told me it was good and I sacked up an entire tall paper garbage bag FULL. 
• I had to sweep the living room (we have carpet) just so we could get all the crap in a pile and it took 3 of us 15 minutes to clean it all and we had started the day with the floor clean.

Yesterday was OK because...

• S did Bible stuff with the kids before bed. And Bee sat so proudly between her big sisters holding her Bible and just beaming.
• We got a little refund check and now I'll be able to pay off some more debt.
• We had enough food for supper so I didn't have to go grocery shopping.
• Bee took a nice, long, early nap and we got a lot done on our projects.
• The girls were happy to be back at choir.
• Everyone was healthy and we are blessed.

Not sure I'm ready for today either but at least we can stay home (except grocery shopping-ug) and get stuff done. Maybe we won't have to be doing school all evening. S has a Bible study with a gentleman tonight so he'll be gone all evening, which I'm not looking forward to. Spring Break was probably the most and longest we've been around him ever and I liked it. 

Going to sack up anything from the girls' floor or bathroom again today. Let's see what kind of bag collection I can get going in the garage. 

Off to tackle this day....ready or not...here it comes.

Little Toot

What do you do when Mama says, "Stay on the hard floor to eat your muffin. Don't get on the carpet"?

Well of course you go stand right on the edge. 

In Which We Try to Undo Sloppy Habits

Yesterday I was asking and wondering about instilling good character qualities in our children. I posted on a Facebook group I am in about what resources there are to use for character training. Boy, I got a lot of responses! I'm going to be going through those and posting the ones I find interesting on here a bit later. As soon as I have time to look up all the links. Sounds like a good summer school study, don't you think? I could incorporate reading (books and stories about characters with good...um...character), possibly writing, and maybe even some good old movie watching could be involved.

We rode the ferry Saturday. Free and fun!

S and I talked about this over the weekend. He and I were trying to remember when we started to "take over" doing things of our own initiative. It was hard to remember. The reason? Because we did things because we had to do them. There was no choice. You came home from school, you got a snack and immediately started on homework. You did the dishes after supper and when everything was done, your time was your own. For him, that meant going outside to play basketball. He was motivated to get finished with his responsibilities before it was pitch black outside.

So we decided that's how things needed to be around here. Playing will happen when you are done with everything else. Now we did take recess yesterday at 10am like we are supposed to. The girls and I all went on a 30 minute bike ride. So it's not like they didn't get a break.

Bee was really excited to be on a boat. Little Bit loved watching the birds. 

Before breakfast I expected them to be up, dressed, hair fixed, and bed made. And their pajamas put away. They were already frustrated with me before we even ate. Then, before school they had to clean up their breakfast, brush their teeth and have anything else done that needed doing. It made the whole day run smoother. 

I know you're thinking....Brenda...this is not revolutionary news. I agree. I was trying to think how we even got into sloppy habits like the girls not making their beds in the mornings. I always make our bed. I always had to make my bed before school growing up.

Did a little rearranging this weekend. Surprised? Now Little Bit has her own desk. She's happy. She has to have things neat.

I believe it began with a pregnancy test. That year I was pregnant with Baby Bee...whew! Mama was tired. We did the basics. Then, of course, I had a newborn. The girls had to be pretty independent for a while there. They got breakfast themselves, they took breaks when they wanted to (I was sleeping or busy with a baby so I didn't fuss). All that to say, I think they slipped into some sloppy habits over the last few years.

So I am staying on them about picking up after themselves at every turn. I will insist responsibilities be finished before playtime. They're going to love me.

Now everyone has somewhere to work. 

This girl sits across from me now. 

But I think it will go a long way towards them looking like responsible people. And perhaps those habits are what turn you into a responsible person down the road?

Dreaming and a Question

Can I go to work today, please?

Can I just drop the kids off with someone else, get in my car by myself and go sit in a quiet little office and work on the computer and file things and copy things? Please?

It really sounds nice today.

Instead, today I must handle a crazy (albeit cute) fit-pitching toddler, educate a 10 year old, and nag a 14 year old to death.

I am very grateful to be home with my kids! I know I am blessed. Just not looking forward to today. Is that OK?

Now I have a question. How do you instill character qualities into your children? I can make my kids do things, but how do I ensure they develop the character quality that will help them to do the things they need to do even when I'm not standing there making them?

I think it's initiative I need to instill. Plus self-control, attentiveness, diligence, responsibility, thoroughness, and dependability. Yeah, how do I instill those things?

Is learning about them enough? Does memorizing the definitions of  the character qualities produce them in your children? Certainly it would help them in recognizing good character vs. poor character. It's been a few years since we really studies character traits. Perhaps it's time again.

But will that do it? When does this transfer take place? When can I expect them to do what they know needs to be done without my direct involvement or a command?

These Things Were More Fun When I Was Little

Whew! The girls had their first choir concert last night. Due to losing our first venue, we had to have the rehearsal and concert all on one night. This resulted in a crazy schedule of keeping up with who needed to be in the auditorium at what time and getting them dressed in the bathroom at certain times and feeding them in between all of that. Goodness. All while keeping up with this little one who ran around for 4 hours before the concert started.

One of the finer moments was me sitting in a chair in the handicapped stall trying to put on my tights and trying to hurry because I knew our friend would need the handicapped stall in a minute....Little Bit was body blocking Bee from playing in the toilet. Bee is yelling, "Go 'way! go 'way!" to Little Bit and then she just dropped her arms down by her sides, threw her head back and screamed the most ear piercing scream ever.

After apologizing to everyone in the restroom, we got done and out of there. But the good news is she behaved very nicely during the concert.

 Little Bit, middle...

Sweetheart, top middle...(unedited pics. Sorry)

So I am very proud of them, etc. But more than that, I am relieved its over! What a lot of stress for a Mama! So many logistics to consider. Being a kid is much easier.

We got home well after 10pm so everyone is sleeping in today. After that, and pancakes, Sweetheart and I will be going to her first physical therapy appointment. School will happen in bits and pieces again today.

And Saturday we are going to see the Texas Tourette Association's Christmas Tree featuring an ornament by Little Bit. She's going to be so proud.

Have a great weekend!

This 'N That

Want to know why I suddenly came back on the blog scene? It's because S needed some dates for something he was working on and we had no idea where we were going to be able to locate the proper paperwork to find those dates.

Then it hit me. My blog! I bet I blogged about the thing he was looking for. Sure enough, after some hunting Sunday morning, I found the dates he needed. And I REALLY enjoyed reading back through my old posts. It was old--Little Bit was 3 in those old posts and she just turned 10 this weekend.

And I was sad I haven't documented the last year (or so) very well. It's been near impossible to do so, but nevermore. It's just too important!

S had a doctor's appointment yesterday and I needed to go with him. We are still trying to get his diabetes under control. It was a good appointment. We learned a lot and the doctor said he really feels he can get S's labs looking perfect in about 9 months. So we have a renewed determination about his diet and a new pill that I really hope works. And a plan for the next month. Then we'll go back to the doctor.

But Mom and Dad had an appointment with my Dad's cancer doctor yesterday too, so I dropped the big girls off at Mrs. Carrie's house. (I paid her with a Sonic drink.  I'm generous like that.) When they got there, all the kids were sitting around the dining room table and there were chairs for Sweetheart and Little Bit. It was quiet, the plumbers were working in the kitchen (so you act really good when there are strangers in the house) and S said, "This is going to be good for them."

And it was. They got everything done that I sent in under 2 hours AND made caramel apples. At one point Carrie asked them if they missed Bee and did they want her to play a video from her phone of Bee saying, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy......" They said, no. They were good. I think they were shocked at how if feels to homeschool without the distraction of a 1 year old.

Oh look. I found a peaceful moment of school. 

Whew. She's quite a distraction. Many times I just close the book I'm trying to read. I can't possibly read over her and I stop every other sentence to say something to someone and AACCCKKK!!!! Sometimes it is chaos over here.

Baby Bee, Little Bit, and Sweetheart before Little Bit's birthday party. It was a bird theme.. 

Since we had Little Bit's birthday party this weekend, you would think the house would still be relatively clean, but you would be wrong. All that effort should last a few days but it didn't. Last school year Little Bit's chore was cleaning and picking up the homeschool room. Sweetheart's was the laundry and laundry room. This year they are both in the kitchen. Little Bit cleans the dining room table off (putting away all items on it and wiping it) and also helps keep the toys under control in the rest of the house. Sweetheart unloads the dishwasher, clears off the kitchen cabinets and sweeps the dining room and kitchen. I go sit down after supper. I'm supposed to get back up and load the dishwasher but sometimes that doesn't happen. Like last night. Anyway I was thinking about how my sisters and I always had to clean the kitchen after supper while my parents went and sat down in the living room. So unfair!!! Now, as a parent, I realize how many, many years I've been doing all that and I'm so thankful they are big enough and I can sit down!

**cue "Circle of Life" song**

Anyway, we had our first cold snap come through yesterday so it's 38 degrees today and I'm thankful we don't have to go anywhere. Planning to educate these young'uns and hopefully get the house back to decent should someone knock on the door.

That's kind of the plan every, day by the way.

In Which Life Gets Easier

I feel like we're digging out of the last 2 years lately. The house is getting back in order. We're throwing stuff away right and left. We're keeping on top of chores somewhat.

Compare this to the year of all the sleeping (otherwise known as when I was pregnant) and then the year of the newborn...

Now? Bee is sleeping through the night 95% of the time, which makes a HUGE difference in how I feel physically every day. She's a walking, going maniac, which means she's happier and more content and I can get more done every day. We're wrapping up the school year--which makes everyone happy!

HUGE EXHALE......

This week our good friends the Holidays are coming for a visit. We haven't seen them since January and its time! Mr. Holiday will be working out of town, so Mrs. Holiday and the 4 little Holiday girls will be coming. Can't wait!! We're taking a few days off of school to spend time with them so that means a short week at school.

It also means a lot of cleaning went on over here this weekend. Having house guests is GOOD for your home! It makes you take care of areas you otherwise happily ignore.

We were able to get the girls new bikes this weekend. Sweetheart's was stolen earlier this year right out of our backyard and Little Bit had outgrown hers. We added a bike for me too, with a seat for Baby Bee so now we can add "bike riding" to our routine instead of just walking all the time. I still want to walk sometimes--it's good for you, but boy peddling a bike with a 20 pound baby on it is good for you too!

Baby Bee last May...

I just can't believe Baby Bee is about to be 1 and I also can't believe what a difference a year makes. Yes, we've seen an amazing difference in her of course. But what a difference in our whole life! I'm so thankful to God for the blessings of this family and for the health to enjoy and take care of them.

Baby Bee now...with a little friend at field day. She LOVED his hair.

Oh and by the way, it's Teacher Appreciation Week this week.

For a homeschool mom, this plays out much like Mother's Day, don't you think?

So if you have a minute, go ahead and send me some appreciation for all my great teaching. Ha!

Just So You Understand--This Wasn't Planned

I always admire those Mamas who take a picture of their child in the same basket every month of their first year of life. They end up with this neat little montage of their baby's growth.

I tried that a few times. Never could remember to take the stupid picture.

But by complete accident, I did something kind of cool. See, when Sweetheart needed to go get her 9 month pictures made, my mom had made her this really cute dress. I picked the sunflower/basket prop from Sears, and wah lah:

Snapped a picture of the framed picture. Thus, the reflection.

When it was time for Little Bit to have her 9 month pictures made, 4 years later, I couldn't find a good outfit for her to wear. I still had the pretty little yellow dress, but I didn't want my poor baby to wear hand-me-downs! Unless....

I asked the lady at Sears if they still had the basket and sunflowers. She went climbing through the prop closet and emerged victorious! And so:

Naturally, since both girls had their pictures made in the dress, I kept the dress. I didn't hold out hope that Sears would have the same props 8 years later, but still.

I went to Hobby Lobby and bought sunflowers. I showed the lady the older girls' pictures and she went and found that same basket. And so:

Seriously--am I not SO planned and ORGANIZED? Are you amazed at my ability to coordinate this over a 13 year span?

I thought so.

Repeat After Me: I Do Not Have Schoolwork. I Am the Mom.

Do you take on the stress of your child's work load too? If you are behind schedule or one certain subject is stacking up on you, is your child concerned about it or only you? If there is a big project due this week, like us, does the stress to complete it fall on you or them?

I'm kind of bad about this. Some mornings I remember to tell myself, "Hey! I've already been to 7th grade! This isn't my problem!" Other mornings I feel like I'm the student and I have a huge workload ahead of me that day!

Forgetting, of course, that it is my child who has the school work to complete. I am the mom. I have a house to keep and a baby to care for. I have to read to them, yes. And directly teach them at times.

But I am not the student!

I must remember this daily.

But the big projects are complete now and the presentations are today. It's voluntary, you know. We don't have to participate in our homeschool group's project fair. But we love it. The girls have done it nearly every year. Last year Mama said NO because Mama was very, very pregnant.

This is our first year to not do a science-related project. That would be because not a terrible lot of science has gone on this year. We are about half-way through our book, but not nearly as far as I'd like to be. There's still time.

I'm excited about their presentations today and I can't wait to share them with you afterward.

But first, I must go and be a MOM NOT a STUDENT.

Repeat to self.

P.S. Little Bit slept in her room last night sans marsupials. It was lovely. I rearranged her room and we turned all the wooden cubes that her dollhouse sit on towards the wall so there are no more openings for possums to cuddle up in. I dreamed about possums last night.

In Which We Have a Visitor

So I was getting dressed this morning after my shower and suddenly Little Bit burst into my room. She knows she's supposed to knock but she said later, "I wasn't wasting time on knocking!" She was screaming and crying.

"There's a snake in my room!!"

I calmed her down and Bee reached over to hug her. So sweet. I closed her door and put some towels under the gap. Told the girls to let me finish getting dressed and then I'd deal with it.

By "deal with it" I meant "call my dad."
He wasn't home. Shoot.

I figured it was a grass snake. I started to her room and she said, "NO MOMMY! Don't go in there!!!" I told her I needed to see what it was. She answered, "Ok. but watch out for the claw."

Wait. WHAT??? Now I'm the one jumping up and down. SNAKES DON'T HAVE CLAWS. WHAT DID YOU SEE??

So I calmed back down and figured it was a tree lizard. I went into her room armed with a broom. I moved a sack out of the way. I used the broom to move the blue dress out of the way she told me it was under.

And I saw a face. With eyes. And fur.

NO!!!!! I was out of there folks!!! I came screaming into the living room, "IT'S A MAMMAL!!"

The girls were in the driveway in a split second. I made some more phone calls. No one was available. My dad said he'd be home soon. I convinced the girls to come back in the living room and we got some school done. Then my dad showed up with work gloves and a box. He emerged with this

Yes folks, that is a possum. In our house. In Little Bit's bedroom. Ew. Ew. Ew. When I saw the face, my first thought was possum. And I was greatly hoping it was not a rat.

Turns out Little Bit had heard something and went to see what it was. She caught sight of the long tail unfurling--thus, the snake. Double ew.

The girls are spending the night at their grandparent's house. I've got to figure out a way to make it ok for Little Bit to sleep in that room again. I've been jumpy all day.

Triple ew.

My Most Devoted Reader

Good ol' Anonymous Spam. He assures me I am a most excellent writer and always has a kind word to say about my blog, plus a little happy link for me to visit.

I just spend 15 minutes deleting spam comments from this blog.

You other commenters really need to step up your game. Why don't you give me helpful web tips like him? :) Never have I had such a devoted reader.

In other news, I spent over an hour throwing away 2 1/2 bags of trash out of Sweetheart's room yesterday. It's ok--she asked me to! Actually, she bargained for me to! (She knows how to bargain with me pretty well. She knows all my weak spots. Mama will do just about anything for foot rubs, or to have my hair brushed, etc. Yesterday she REALLY wanted help on her room b/c she gave me the full spa treatment.)

I love you Sweetheart--even if you have 50 socks on your bedroom floor.

Anyway, in the course of sweeping out from under all her furniture, and behind everything and just generally getting everything off the floor--I found 50 socks. FIFTY SOCKS folks. And she was still wearing some yesterday! Today we are going to attack the closet and drawers. Time to get rid of what doesn't fit and pass along or throw away toys. Sniff. Sniff.

I've been in no hurry on the toys because once you grow up, you don't ever get to go back. She's been telling me she doesn't want them all and I keep saying, "they aren't taking up any room in your closet, just leave them on the shelf in case you want to play with them one day." But after seeing the state of her room yesterday, I've decided it's time to seriously pare down what's in her room. If you don't own much, you can't junk the room up. Right? Right?

And I must resist the urge to keep everything for Bee later. There is far too big of a gap in ages to store clothes or toys for her for later. Maybe a few sentimental items that all the girls have loved and played with. But really--I've got to let go of some things. EVEN IF they are "perfectly good." (That was my mom's voice there in quotes. She can't throw anything away. Must. Fight. Genetics.)

Baby Bee--conqueror of the homeschool cabinet.

In other news, Bee learned to open the homeschool cabinet yesterday so that is now sporting a child lock. Far too much money invested in homeschool curriculum to risk that. I don't lock everything up, just the one kitchen cabinet that has a gas connection inside it. I don't mind telling her "no." But boy if she ripped up our homeschool stuff while I was out of the room--I might have what they call a coniption. So that's another inconvient addition to our school day. I would really, really, really like to have a homeschool room again. One with a bunch of built-in would be nice. And a play area on the other side for Bee. So if you know of anyone giving a house away--give me a holler!

OK--let the vague, general compliments about my blogging style begin!

True Confessions

I am a horrible person. And very selfish.

You know, ever since my ambulance ride nearly a year ago, I have worried more about my health. It was a tiny taste of my own mortality. Something could go wrong. I am not immune to illness and poor health.

Every time I hear a cancer diagnosis (which is a lot) I think, "Oh please not me." We've had two people in the hospital lately--my cousin is still hanging on and a young man at our church just passed away last night. I am sad for them. I pray for them. I am concerned.

But my thoughts go back to me far too often. What if that were our family? What if that happened to me? To us? It's not right to worry. So I'm confessing here that it scares me.

Oh, I'm not afraid to die. I am afraid of leaving my children without their mom. Who would homeschool them? They can't just be dumped into public school! They aren't "on level" in everything! What would happen? What about Little Bit's tics? Who would take care of Baby Bee? It breaks my heart to think of leaving them before they are grown.

So I pray. I pray for mercy that I do not deserve. I pray for good health. I worry about what I'm eating. I worry--what if something is growing in my body right now and I don't know about it? What if we don't catch something until it's really bad?

And I am thankful. I am thankful for every single day I have with them. I am happy to fix their hair and wash their clothes. I am glad to do really normal, unpleasant, everyday mom things. I am thankful that I can do them. That I am here.

But I have to stop worrying. Yes, I need to eat healthy. Yes, we live in a toxic waste dump. I wish we could move. Yes, I need to exercise. Yes, I need to teach my children diligently while I have them here with me.

I am weary. I am tired of diagnoses. I am tired of death. I am tired of this broken creation and of people snubbing their nose at the living God.

And yet, He waits. He does not want anyone to perish. How great is His love for us!

Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

The House of Fever and Hack

We're a barrel of fun around here. I started running fever Christmas Eve and continued on until the day after Christmas, where I spent 3 1/2 hours sitting in a clinic waiting room to be asked by the doctor, "Could you have been exposed to anyone with the flu lately?"

Um, you mean besides the last 3 1/2 hours?

It wasn't flu, by the way.

I feel better, but not 100%. It's rough running 101 or 102 and still having to feed baby. Baby Bee was VERY good Christmas afternoon and entertained herself for a really long time for Daddy while Mommy laid in bed. And she stayed with my parents while I was at that clinic the next day. She did not die from lack of nursing but I was one anxious Mama and she was really glad to see me when I got home.

Now Sweetheart has a cough and so do I. I have big plans for us to all just stay home as much as possible!

But we had a good Christmas and I was thankful to feel good enough to be up and there. I'll share pics later. Don't have that kind of time right now.

Right now I'm on Project Baby Proof. I was so proud I got the pantry rearranged yesterday and today had plans to go around the living room floor checking for safety hazards.

And then Baby Bee pulled herself up to her knees on the coffee table last night. I wish you could have seen how delighted she was with herself. Started pounding on the keyboard of the laptop!

So needless to say, Project Baby Proof needs to speed up its efforts a few notches!

Hope you all had a blessed holiday with your families!

P.S. Wanted to share this picture. We snuck down to the beach before Christmas and bought some shells to surprise S with a beach tree in his home office. Took this pic of Little Bit outside one of the stores. It cracks us up.

So When They Ask Me, I'll Remember

**Thanks, everyone, for the comments on my last post!

I've asked several older women about their younger years as a mom. I've asked them "how did you manage when your kids were little?" and questions like that.

They have all given me similar answers:

I have no idea.
Those years were a blur.
I honestly don't remember.

Well. I want to remember how I handled life and what we were doing when I had 3 at home. So today I thought I'd track our day. It was work. But now I've got it for posterity's sake. Can't say this is a "typical" day...but it was a day.

7:30  Wake up. I usually wake up at 6:45, but S got up early and it threw me off. Oh well. Lay in bed and check e-mail, Facebook, etc. Rather, lay in bed and squint at screen because I don't have my glasses.

7:45 get up and feed Baby Bee in the recliner.

8:00 get the roast going in the crock pot, make breakfast (canned biscuits, oatmeal, and green smoothies). What is that smell? Take out trash in kitchen. Oh. Its actually the burnt sweet potato that dripped in the oven yesterday. Nothing like sweet potato biscuits. Put stamps on bills and mail them.

--girls are dressing Bee during all this.

8:30 Sweetheart out of shower and getting dressed. Little Bit playing. Bee is in high chair. Oatmeal is cooling. Biscuits are baking.

Eat breakfast. Have pep talk with girls about Dad's declaration that the weekends are for FUN and the house shall be clean by Friday evening with groceries bought and errands run. Discuss picking things up as we go and how little things add up. Girls leave table immaculately clean.

8:50 My turn in the shower. Sweetheart finishing breakfast and taking care of baby. One of the perks of having olders and baby at same time.

9:10 I'm out and dressed. Bee is ready to nurse. Little Bit is playing school with her dolls. Wants preschool workbook. I remember preschool computer games. Find CD and direct girls how to install it while nursing. It works. Can't believe it--it's from 2002.

9:30 Start school.

10:25 Bee falls asleep in my lap during reading.

10:35 Sent Little Bit for play break while I work on reading questions with Sweetheart. She does not remember what she read. I send her teary-eyed back to re-read. Note to self: girls need to go to bed earlier tonight.

11:10 Bee wakes up. Time for math--both girls at once. Otherwise known as suicide.

12:15 Sweetheart is half done with math. Little Bit all done. Play break for all!
Bee plays in her bed while I clean out her drawers. I notice Sweetheart never made her bed which was huge part of our pep talk at breakfast. Sigh.

12:35 Lunch. Leftovers from restaurant for Little Bit, leftover hot dogs for Sweetheart and me, sweet potato and applesauce for Bee. Work on trying to get Bee to use her left hand to pick up cereal. Girls are cheering for right hand. Suckers.

1:10 It stopped raining. Outside to ride bikes because Mama has been thinking Sweetheart needs more exercise.

1:20 Down to Grandpa's house to see if he can raise Little Bit's seat and handlebars. He does, after much searching for the right sized Allen wrench which we find in S's toolbox. Now she can keep this bike a while longer.

Girls ride through rain puddles and get very wet. Bee is at Grandma's playing with her in the floor.

1:45 Back inside for more school. Time for Bee's nap. First, girls must change wet clothes.

2:15 Finish feeding Bee and lay her down in her bed.

2:40 Finish reading and history with Little Bit. Sweetheart finishes piano.

Switch laundry.

2:45 Spelling with Little Bit. Sweetheart working independently.

2:50 Done with school for Little Bit and she is in tears and doesn't know why. Remind self children need to go to bed early tonight. Baby still sleeping. Sweetheart still working. I clean part of kitchen.

3:00 Decide to get read-aloud done while Bee is sleeping.

3:55 Finish reading (we are behind so we read a long time). Finish kitchen. Sweetheart finishes school.

4:05 Bee wakes up. Little Bit practices piano. Sweetheart still finishing school. We didn't finish all the subjects but we seem to have run out of day. Oh well. Tomorrow.

4:20 Bee is finished eating (again). Clean off our bed of all the stacks I made while cleaning Bee's drawers. Finish drawers.

4:30 Girls have abandoned baby to go play. Hear her fuss because she is alone in room. Go sit and play with her.

4:45 Go check on neighbor who is 80, a widow, and has an infected tooth. I worry when I don't see her car move for a day or so. She invites us in. It's a marvelous, breakable, fancy Christmas wonderland in her house. My children are in awe. Little Bit is scared of the dogs though and shakes for several minutes even after neighbor puts them out.

5:05 Home to pick up living room. Contact senator about UN treaty.

5:20 Sister is here. She eats with us every Monday night. She plays with Bee while I peel potatoes for dinner.

And that's it. S got home at 6:20 and we all ate and well...you know how the evenings are. The girls didn't get into bed particularly early, but hopefully they will sleep well and be less teary tomorrow.

Also I think I've figured out why the housework doesn't get done.

And why it can all turn into a blur if we don't slow down and enjoy it.

In the Absence of Peer Pressure

I have so many things to share with you, including pictures of our camping trip and what's going on in our homeschool, etc.

But today my thoughts are on teenagers. You know, I have one of those. We like to refer to her as a "young lady" instead of a "teen" and I think she kind of likes that too. She knows that the word "teenager" was invented quite recently in history and that throughout most of time, people her age were called/treated as "young men and women."

But she's just on the edge of all that. She only turned 13 two months ago. She's still on the edge of childhood, really. Still content to play with her little sister (as they are doing right now), and yet able to take on a lot more responsibilities.

I worry sometimes about her maturity. I don't know why. I'll see a Facebook page of a girl around Sweetheart's age, and I'll flip through their pictures. They just seem so much more grown up than her.

But actually, I don't WANT my daughter to spend her time taking pictures of herself in the bathroom mirror with the caption, "wat y'all think?". I really don't.

So I'll think about how she still seems like such a little girl, and then I realize a few things:

1. This is what 13 looks like for her.
2. In 6 months, she'll be different.
3. I wonder what other 13 year olds would be like if they didn't have peer pressure causing them to act like they do.
4. I'd rather have a daughter who reads her Bible than posts pictures of herself on Facebook making stupid faces and spelling everything wrong.
5. Children today REALLY can't spell. I know a lot of it is on purpose, but not all of it!
6. Like, for example, the picture of food I saw today with the caption, "This is my favorite snake."
7. See what I mean?

Sorry, got off-topic there. The point is, Sweetheart is in transition mode. She's moving from childhood to young womanhood and it isn't an overnight change. Nor is it supposed to be.

Example? Last night we were walking out the door to go to church and she came around the corner carrying Bee and her American Girl doll. At the same time. That is just a perfect picture of where she is.

And like the morning that I needed to sleep in and Sweetheart came and got Bee from my room. When I got up, Sweetheart had Bee laying on her activity mat in the living room, while she made pancakes in the kitchen, while playing with Little Bit....all at the same time. She had everything in perfect control when I walked in.

This transition is interesting. And from what I see on Facebook and around me...I know we need to spend more time on Bible and less time worrying about what other "teens" are doing/wearing/talking about.

Oh, and definitely more time on spelling.

Patting Myself on the Back

I am so proud of myself! I made baby food!!

OK. So, as it turns out, "baby food" is just grown up food mashed or pureed up. I know that now.

Let me start over. I've had a baby in my 20s, a baby in my 30s, and now...a baby in my 40s. (That pattern stops here, by the way!) I am a MUCH wiser mommy in my 40s than I was in my 20s. Much.

Sweetheart ate baby food. The kind that comes in a jar. WAY longer than was necessary. I liked it because I knew she was getting a fruit, a vegetable, and a meat at supper. (That statement makes no sense to me now.) I didn't know or care what was in those little jars. It was baby food. It was made by Gerber. What could be wrong with that?

Plus, I worked back then. I barely cooked for US, much less the baby!

Flash forward 13 years. I have been a homemaker for 5 or 6 years now. I have learned a few things. And it seemed to me that making Bee's baby food would be no big deal.

First I had to make sure I was getting the right thing. Text: Dad, is the one on the bottom the acorn squash?

OK--so 40 doesn't equal wise ALL the time.

So this morning S cut an acorn squash in half for me and I baked it. I filled 2 ice cube trays with it.

Then this afternoon, my dad baked a sweet potato for her. I got another almost full ice cube tray from that. Along with bananas and apples from our countertop, she should be good to go for quite a while! (Especially since I'm not feeding her at every meal, or even every day---just whenever the time seems right.)

I know I could have (should have?) waited until she was 6 months old, but she's ready. I watched for all the cues. I tested her tongue thrust reflex. I let her chew on an apple slice in the feeder thingy. She's an eater now. Its all going well except for that unfortunate idea to give her some cold carrot to chew on for those sore gums....

Thankfully, she forgave me later. After she threw it across the room.

The Strategy Was a Success

Well, today was the day I was determined to be ultra-productive!

And, if you remember, I had a little strategy planned to get a certain child moving in the mornings.

I'm sharing this not to shame my daughter, but to offer encouragement to any other mamas who might have a child like mine. The kind where organization is an issue. The kind who need training. I get her. I AM her. It was a mystery to me how my sister kept her half of the room so clean and mine always looked like a bomb went off. A real mystery.

Our brains just don't work the same way as other people's brains do. But that isn't an excuse! It's just a reason. I firmly believe that I can train my daughter and help her to figure out more organized ways of being before she leaves this home. I don't want her to struggle with this her whole life.

And I might feel guilty and like I'm a real parenting failure....except I also gave birth to S's mini-me. Our other daughter keeps her room practically perfect with no prompting. She will never need to be  taught how to be organized--she was born that way.

But for us more creative types--organization can be a mystery. And I? I have unlocked the keys to the universe for my daughter.

I sat up last night and typed up a little sheet with 2 columns:

Place & Activity

I listed, for example, "BATHROOM" and then in the 2nd column, all the things that one should get done while in the bathroom including "take your dirty clothes and wet towels with you when you leave." Then, I listed all the things one should accomplish in their bedroom BEFORE they come to breakfast.

After her shower, I looked into the bathroom and saw this: (cue angels singing)

No puddles of water on the floor. No dirty clothes or towel. No stuff all over the cabinet. Shower curtain closed. Shampoo bottles not laying in the middle of the floor. (Seriously.) That bathroom was left company-ready!!!

And when she came be-bopping to the breakfast table, dressed, hair fixed....I peeked into her room:

Bed made. NOTHING on the floor. Desk ready for school. Oh my word y'all!

Here is the most amazing part: That girl was ready in about 30 minutes and we started school at 9:00am. There was no back-tracking. She did everything that needed to be done in one area before moving on to another area. She was so proud too. I know I always felt relieved when someone helped me be organized. I felt lost on how to get started until someone showed me. I get her.

I don't know if it was a one-hit wonder or the start of something grand, but that little list made a WORLD of difference at our house today.

Just a little help ordering her motions was all she needed. A little logical thinking that would have never occurred to her on it's own.

Thankful and happy tonight!

Tomorrow I'll share about how our plan to be super productive panned out...

New Week = New Strategy

I have such cute pictures to share with you. I just have to go into the other room and get the cord, attach my phone to the computer and load them. Then, I have to insert them into the post. I guess you can tell I'm willing to type all they out more than I'm willing to DO it.

Tomorrow is the start of a new week! Even though it should be week 4 of school, it'll be week 3. We lost a few days in there somewhere. But I'm glad we are starting fresh at the beginning of a new week. We don't have very many places to go this week, so I'm looking forward to being really, really productive!

One certain child of mine is usually the first one up and always the last one ready to start the day. Why? Because she wastes motion. She showers and then leaves the bathroom to go get dressed. Then later she has to go back to the bathroom and wash her face. Then, after breakfast, she has to brush her teeth.

Folks, our home is only 1500 something square feet, but she's walking MILES every day! So I'm going to start working with her on doing things in a more logical order. This is not something you have to teach every kid, but this one? Yes. Back when they had checklists for their "morning chores" or "morning routine", I did this for her. She just needs a little reminding is all.

Also, I'm hoping to spend significantly less time looking for things this week. Do you want to know where we finally found her reading book? UNDER the rug in her room. How does one even DO that?

I'm looking forward to a fresh start, lots of good school work completed (who cares in what order) and lots of time spent with my girls every day. I love my family so much and am so thankful to be here with them. What a blessing!

Tentative Title for Next Post: Reality Hits