The Wisdom of Little Bit

She's been using my camera again. She was experimenting with turning the light off and on in her room to make the dollhouse windows appear like night and day. And this is what I found...in this order:

Still sleeping...

Good morning!

Making Daddy's lunch...

Getting ready for work...

Here's your lunch dear...

Mmwah!

And then....

Wait...what???

What does she know? She's asleep at that time of day anyway!

Whose Job Is It?

A man once got a job in an office. When he was first hired, the boss put out a memo telling what his job description would be. But...the man never read the memo. So he just busied himself around the office doing whatever appealed to him. He was always busy, mind you, but not doing what he was hired to do.

In fact, NO ONE was really doing what the man had been hired to do. And it really began to take a toll on the whole office. These things needed to be done by someone, but it seemed no one thought it was their job.

Of course sometimes the man HAD to do one of his "real" jobs. Just simply because the office couldn't function unless it was done. But when he did, he was always mad. He would perform the job (that SHOULD HAVE BEEN his) but he grumbled inwardly the whole time because he was sure someone wasn't doing their job.

Sound silly?

I was that man.

When I got married 18 1/2 years ago, I had not read my job description. I had no understanding.

...the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things--that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

 So I went on about my business doing what I thought was my job (teaching) and of course things still needed to be done around the house. At first I didn't mind....I mean, our apartment was new and all. But as the years wore on, and we got busier, I started to mind. I was SURE all this wasn't MY job! After all, I was gone all day to work just like S and I had totally bought the lie that "marriage is 50/50." If I was cooking, then HE needed to do dishes!

I still ended up doing most of my "real job" that I should have been doing all along. Just simply because it needed to be done. But I grumbled inwardly and I was SURE it wasn't all my job. I was mad a lot.

What a joy when I finally read and understood my job description!! Actually, it took a load off my shoulders! I was doing WAY more than I was called to do! I was worrying myself with things that were not my concern. I was doing a lot of good things, but neglecting the tasks I had been asked to concentrate on.

Now when the house is a mess, I'm still not happy. BUT...I'm not mad at my husband about it. I say to myself, "I have GOT to get this kitchen cleaned up!" Did you hear that? I say, "I" have to clean it. Not "someone should really...." Now don't get me wrong, I am always glad for help around here--especially when I'm pregnant! But I don't expect someone to come do my job. I actually really enjoy my job and feel that I get better at it each year. (I've been home full time for 5 years now.)

You might disagree if you saw my house right now. But the thing is, I'm excited that it's Friday and the weekend and I'M HOME to take care of things. Such a blessing.

I love my job.

The Hope of Friday

I just love Fridays. Not because of the old TGIF....or even the hope of the weekend. No, it's more like "school is wrapping up and I can finally get a grip on this house!" Not that it ever really happens the way it plays out in my head on Friday mornings, but I am ever hopeful on Fridays.

This particular Friday calls for a major shopping trip. We are out of everything. Payday finally came and I will be stocking the house up. That feels very good. I love it when we are freshly stocked up.

As for the house, I realized the other day if I could wish for anything (well, anything house related) it would be this:

For all the rooms in my house to be clean at the same time!!!

Some of you organized, non-cluttery types are like, what? Folks, I'm not talking about "oh I haven't dusted that shelf in AGES!" I'm talking about I want to not have to close doors on several rooms of my house when company comes over. Or pray that no one needs to use our second bathroom.

And every Saturday evening we have folks over for Bible study. I also teach sewing classes to a friend's little girl on Saturday afternoons. So the Friday cleaning spree is very necessary. But I never, EVER have all the rooms clean.

It's getting better though. The girls are 500% more helpful than they used to be. I can send them to do whole jobs and they will do them quite well. So perhaps there is hope as they grown into young ladies that we will all be able to tackle the house together? But, to quote Violet Beauregard, "I want it now!"

So even though it's terribly discouraging looking around my house, I can't help but feel optimistic on Friday mornings. Probably foolishly so. I nearly always end up focusing on the "main parts" of the house and never get to those rooms I will end up shutting the door on.

I used to have a clean house. Really, I did. It was back when Sweetheart was 1 or 2 years old. I have pictures to prove it. When little Bit came along, all bets were off and it went downhill rapidly from there. I KNOW! I ONLY have 2 kids!! What is wrong with me? We found the calendars I kept from 2003-2004 (Little Bit's first year) the other day and I was reading them. Sweetheart said, "Man! We were BUSY!" She wasn't kidding. I was tired just reading them. It was ridiculous. I was balancing work, doctor's appointments, a newborn, a preschooler and all the activites that entails, the house, church, etc. It was crazy. No wonder that whole time period is kind of fuzzy.

And I was just sure that when I quit work all would be made right.

So why isn't that working? Huh? I feel very cheated. First I was sold a lie that I could work and raise children and keep the home and then I was sold the lie that if I just stayed home, I would be able to keep up with everything. Neither one has panned out.

What room do you always have to shut the door on?

(And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you are invited over for a work party today!)

I Am a (Good) Homemaker

We've got people coming over tonight so we've got to get the house in order.

Not REAL order, mind you....company order. You know the difference, don't you? REAL order is when you actually organize things and spend time getting to the root of the problem and do not ignore areas like cleaning out the fridge. REAL order is when you do actual spring cleaning and completely finish a room and feel good about it.

Company order is when you pick up and surface clean and "make it look good." Heaven forbid someone open a closed door, right?

I want to do the spring cleaning, but I'm going to have to settle for company cleaning today. Still, we have a lot of folks coming over who are not homeschoolers and I feel responsible to have our homeschool room looking really good. I hate to give a bad impression of homeschooling.

I am really feeling the responsibility of keeping and managing this home. Of being a good homemaker. S had a pretty significant job change happen this week. It's a good thing---pretty much a promotion if you will. He's just doing something totally different and I know for a while, that means more stress. I know his mind will be focused on work a lot. So I am really feeling the need to keep up with things here so that his evenings are peaceful and he doesn't have to worry about things.

I don't really feel that women are encouraged to be good homemakers much anymore. Well, despite the fact that they aren't encouraged to be homemakers at all! It's just seen as totally acceptable to just "get a maid" or to "tell your husband he can do it then!" The whole attitude for stay-at-home moms is often wrong. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having a maid--it's the whole attitude of "why should I have to do it?" If a woman works outside the home, the attitude is even worse! "How can he expect you to (fill in the blank)? You have a job too!"

For me, it isn't what my husband "expects." It's what God has said. I like to read Titus 2:3-5 in a lot of different versions. No matter how it's worded, the message is clear. We are to keep our homes. Now 6 years ago when I had a baby and a kindergarten student and was babysitting another baby, my home did not look that great. I am in a completely different stage of life now. I have 2 helpers! So yes, we must extend grace to ourselves when little ones are underfoot, or when there is sickness in the house, but not constantly be finding excuses to be a bad homemaker. We need to be good homemakers. As good as we are able to be.

Pretty hard when you weren't raised to be one, huh? I cannot believe how much better I have gotten at things these last 4 years that I've been home. I know I am not the only one who has struggled with this because I get more hits to my blog for this post than any other. Constantly, there are people googling "how to be a homemaker." Isn't that sad? Their own mothers did not teach them and now they are trying to figure it all out. I'll tell you, if I had started learning to be a homemaker in 1993 when I got married, instead of after we had been married a long time and had 2 kids....I would be better at it right now. I cannot even imagine how my house and my time might look differently!

But being a good homemaker is all for naught if I don't teach my daughters to be homemakers as well. We all know someone whose mom did EVERYTHING for them when they were growing up and then they practically had to learn to dress themeselves as adults. I can have the best house ever and if I'm not teaching my daughters...I've messed up.

And of course, if I don't show love while I'm doing it, I've missed the whole point.

Honestly, I don't "feel" like a good homemaker yet. But I think I'll start saying it anyway and then live up to it!

What area of housekeeping are you good at?
What area do you need the most help?

The Revisions Are Plentiful

We used to eat out a lot. When I worked, it was just a whole lot easier to eat out than to cook at home AND have to clean up the mess afterward. We only had a few hours at home all together and we didn't want to spend them cooking and cleaning with our back to baby Sweetheart. Plus, I still had work to do in the evenings most of the time.

Then I quit and we became poor so we ate at home. IF we ate out because of poor planning, last minute schedule changes, or whatever...it was fast food. Because that was what we could afford. The groceries I bought? Whatever was cheapest.

Ug.

You really don't want to go down the road of researching food although I know many of you have done it. It just disturbs you and then you either have to sweep what you know under the rug or act on it. There is just SO much to change it's overwhelming. Plastic containers are the devil? Milk products are contaminated? Everything has hormones and antibiotics in it? What do I do now???? ACK!!!

At the same time I am still determined to simplify our home. To declutter. To get rid of STUFF that weighs us down. That's a big goal in itself.

At the same time I am concerned about my children's spiritual development AND their schooling. I feel the need to do more--to teach them more--to be more purposeful and less accidental about training them. I feel the weight of responsibility in that area. That's a big goal in itself.

At the same time I WANT to work on things that bless our family. Like quilts for the girls, and costumes for our costume day, and other sewing and crafts. I want our home to be warm and inviting and welcoming. That's a big goal in itself.

At the same time, my husband is a very busy man with 2 jobs and major responsibilities at church. I am his helper. That's a big job in itself.

Put it all together and you have me.

Me and my very busy brain.

Bam! There It Is

I never heard it explained like this before. Boy does it makes sense:

"...the difference in conclusions between Paul and the feminist movement of today is rooted in a fundamental difference in their points of view relative to the constitution of the human race. To Paul, the human race is made up of families, and every several organism — the church included — is composed of families, united together by this or that bond. The relation of the sexes in the family follow it therefore into the church. To the feminist movement the human race is made up of individuals; a woman is just another individual by the side of the man, and it can see no reason for any differences in dealing with the two."

The quote is from this article. And, by the way, it was written in 1919.

Helping Our Husbands With Work

Before I start in on today's topic I just wanted to give you an update on my pajama situation. I finally got a chance to ask S about my pajamas and to my surprise, he said my pajama pants were fine. He just would rather me wear a tank top than an old t-shirt. OK, that makes sense. My friend told me where they sell lots of cute tank tops (not just undershirt-looking ones). Also, JulieMom is planning to put up a tutorial on sewing pajama pants. If it looks easy enough, I might try it. She's going to sew some for her and her girls out of feminine fabrics. I think that would make a difference. Nice, new feminine print pajama pants and a matching tank top. Sounds like a plan to me!

Now. My husband works a lot. If you read this blog there's a good chance your husband works a lot too. I just happen to know that a lot of my blog readers (well, the ones I KNOW OF anyway---ahem lurkers) stay at home or homeschool or are trying to make it on one income. That naturally means that your husband works hard. If you also work outside the home, this is even harder for you. But I still think it's important and biblical.

The Bible says that Eve was created to be a helper for Adam. I believe that when I married S, I became his most important helper. And, this is the hard part, me helping him is more important than him helping me. See, when I was a full-time working mom with a little one I was angry inside. I remember kneeling beside the bathtub bathing Sweetheart, after fixing supper, still looking forward to stacks of papers that needed to be graded, and a house that needed to be cleaned, counting how many times I had bathed her since she was born. What I was doing was making a mental list of how many times he had NOT bathed her. In my mind, I deserved a husband who helped out more since I was so busy all the time. Heaven forbid one of my friends or co-workers should mention some thing that their husband always did for them!

I'm wiser now. I read Debi Pearl's book Created to Be His Helpmeet about 4 or 5 years ago and it REALLY changed me. It changed our marriage. I know some will say that book is controversial but I'm here to tell you that it blessed us tremendously. No one had ever opened up scripture and just flat out explained to me what it said about being a wife.

So, now that I had a proper perspective and knew that helping my husband pleased the Lord, and that my husband wasn't put on earth to help me, it got easier.

This weekend my husband will be working both of his jobs. I can't actually go to work with him (and would be precious little help if I did) but there are things I can do to help him this weekend:

1. Make sure he comes home to a clean house.
2. Have meals ready and be flexible if he doesn't want to take time to sit down and eat. (pack it up for him, etc.)
3. Have the clothes he needs washed and ready to go.
4. Go shopping with him for supplies he needs for a job.
5. Take care of things around the house that he won't have time to attend to.
6. Show and teach my girls a grateful attitude for Daddy's hard work (instead of teaching them to pout because we are alone "No. We can't go do fun things because Daddy has to work.")

I'm sure there are others. Just knowing that things are taken care of here, and that I'm a phone call away if he needs me to do anything for him (I'm willing, and able since I'm not busy with my own job now) is a great help. He can relax and focus on his job knowing that he has an awesome helper at home.

I might have added in the adjective there. But I'm SURE he's thinking it.

How do you help your husband?

Plate Spinning

School---math, history, phonics, spelling, writing, Bible, science (oh science, you've been slipping through the cracks badly), etc.

Bible--2 days behind on reading. Gotta get caught up.

Supper---Ok that's taken care of tonight. We're having a pot luck at church. Gotta make rice and a cake this afternoon.

Kitchen--still not 100% clean. Gotta clean that before I can cook.

Laundry--ug. Still wet and in the dryer from....was it yesterday? Gotta fix that.

Book Club--1:00. Get your teeth brushed everyone. Find your shoes. YES, it's almost time to go!!! Where's my notebook?

Sewing--ack. There sits that skirt. I still haven't put elastic in it. I need to sit down and think about these lessons. I need to write stuff down. I need to finish those aprons.

The plates (and the list) go on and on and on and on........

What plates are you spinning today?

Deep Question Day

I have a serious topic today in spite of my mood. (Not in a very serious mood today! :) I decided a few days ago to ask this though because I have found that blogging is a really quick way to get a ton of opinions from many different walks of life.

That's exactly what I need now because what I know about some things is completely shaped by my experiences, which are limited at best. How do I know this? Well, it might have something to do with the fact that I live on the block I grew up on and go to the same church where S and I were born.

Really, we were born in hospitals but you get my drift.

Here is my question......what do you think/know/believe about women teaching young men? What I mean is, at what age/grade should women stop being the Bible class teachers for boys? AND why. Because some people might not have thought about this before or heard much about it. I know what I have heard in my life, but I want a broader perspective.

You know, I'm really assuming a lot with this, but let's see where it leads.

OK--let me have it in the comments section.

The Influence of Circumstances

Thank you for allowing me to re-post this series while we were out of town. I will now post the conclusion of them and get back to real blogging. Hope the re-posts have helped someone, somewhere. :)

Royalty, high society, Paris, Hollywood...many things have influenced women's fashions over the years. There is one other thing that has caused major changes to what women wore and that is outside circumstances.

One thing that necessitated a change in clothing was the bicycle. As bicycling became more popular in the early 1900s, something had to be done to the dresses women were wearing at the time. In fact, during that time women became more physically active in general. The women's dress reform movement worked to improve women's health and comfort. It was met with great protest, but did succeed in changing women's undergarments and helping women have more sensible choices for activities like biking and swimming.

Another outside circumstance that necessitated change was wartime. Throughout recent history, clothing became more utilitarian and practical during times of war, and returned to more feminine styles during times of peace. I was very interested to learn that. Skirts became a bit shorter--thereby using less fabric. Cuffs, double yokes, knife pleats, full skirts...anything that used extra fabric unnecessarily was out. During the 40s there were rations on clothing that really affected how people dressed. Also during the war, women were urged to cut their hair shorter. Hairpins were unavailable, there were coupons for hats, and safety for women working in factories was a real concern. Some movie stars publicly cut their hair shorter in the hopes that their fans would follow suit.

Of course the Great Depression affected women's fashions as well. Mostly, women had to find a way to make do with what they already had. Women learned to turn collars that were worn out, jazz up the same dress with different accessories, and re-hem worn out dresses. Fashion was not on very many people's minds for a few years. In the same way, women had to make do without certain things during wartime. They painted "seams" on the backs of their legs when nylons were not available, and wore more functional, utilitarian dresses. Which personally, I think were still beautiful!

After World War II, longer, fuller skirts returned. With no more clothing restrictions, designers responded with lots of luxury and femininity. Women had enough of functional! I think it's very interesting that women who were used to wearing jeans and shirts for factory work would return to feminine dress after the war. Of course, the books don't say how many women wanted to return to that style, just that they did for the most part. There was a major advertising campaign encouraging women to go back home to make room for the returning men who needed jobs. So although they regained their femininity, they did not have such luck holding on to their new independence. I sure would love to hear from someone who remembers those days. Anyone got a Grandma they can ask?

Interesting things I've learned....I'm telling ya.

Who Tells Us How to Dress?

This post was originally from January 20, 2009.

In attempting to answer the question, "What is feminine dress?" I had to go back in history just a little bit. Well, actually I began a few years ago with the Bible and found 1 Timothy 2:9...

"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

...and 1 Peter 3:3-5...

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful."

So when I study the Bible, I conclude that my clothing should be modest and that I shouldn't be worrying myself with fancy and expensive attire. I do not believe that these verses say "thou shall not wear jewelry or braid thy hair"! This is not a command against those things mentioned---just a reminder that our beauty should not come from these things. We should be far more concerned with our inner beauty.

That's it. That's all I read.

So where does this idea to dress more femininely come from?

Well, to begin with, I truly believe God intended for there to be a difference. I spoke about that here. I also touched on it here. At no other point in history have women had to worry about "trying" to dress like women! The unisex, blending of genders concerns me.

One reason it concerns me to see men and women's roles and clothing become indistinguishable from each other is that it severely breaks down the family. The Bible speaks of the order of things in Ephesians 5:22-23 and also in 1 Corinthians 11:3. When things get too blurry between a husband's and wife's roles...the order doesn't work so well. I think the way we often dress today also encourages/enables women to behave more masculinely than ever before. And when women behave more masculinely...men sometimes behave more femininely (metrosexual anyone?)...and it all really goes against God's creation.

So, who tells us how to dress? Well, the most important source is God's Word and we have discussed that now. Tomorrow we will explore the other influences on women's clothing.

Any thoughts so far?

So, What Is Feminine?

This is a re-post. This originally posted on Jan. 20, 2009.

So, if you agree with me that God did intend men and women to be different--we were created for different purposes AND were created physically different from one another--then we have another question to answer for ourselves.

Then what is feminine? If I am not to act or dress or look or become masculine....but instead to be what God made me to be--then what does that look like?

I understand what it looks like to fulfill my role as my husband's helper. I didn't say I always DO it perfectly...just that I understand it! :) God did not intend for men and women to do exactly the same things. Does that mean I cannot change the oil in my car if it's needed? I don't believe so. Even though that is generally assumed to be a "male" task, if the oil needs changing...I'll be happy to....take it to Jiffy Lube. Being feminine does not mean to me that I sit around in a Victorian era dress, writing lovely poems with a quill pen and ink, doing needlepoint, and having perfectly smooth skin. I am my husband's helper. And ladies--there's a lot of work in that job! When Adam was sent out of the garden, God told him that with great toil he would work the land for food. Adam had just become a farmer. Although it probably wasn't Eve's primary job, I am sure she helped him at times in that labor. Just as she probably helped him by cooking the food and caring for his children and many other things.

Of course I am speculating about them. And I'm not interested in writing an entire post about wives and husbands and all that. My main point is: I was created for a different reason than my husband. We have different God-given roles. I cannot be both husband and wife. I cannot be both feminine and masculine. And yes, even though single moms have to do a LOT of both tasks--I believe they are still a woman. You don't turn into a man by doing manly things sometimes.

I have so much more to say about all this. Later today (hopefully) I will share with you what I learned in my research these last few weeks.

So far, I have made two points: God intended there to be a distinction between the sexes and feminine is different than masculine. We were intended for different purposes and I believe our dress should reflect the difference as well.

A Distinction

I'm re-posting this series I did on Women's Fashion. This post originally was from January 12, 2009.

I've been studying and researching women's dress for a while now. I guess it really started about 2 or 3 years ago, but lately I've really been interested in how we got where we are today.

When I first began reading blogs, the argument of "dresses only" was brought to my attention. I had never heard of such a thing except in thinking of our Pentecostal friends growing up. I was completely unaware that there were many Christian women who considered pants to be sinful. This really was news to me! I studied the scriptures and looked at the arguments they presented. I couldn't come to the same conclusion. Oh, I agree that many, many pants are immodest and some skirts are too. I know for some it is an issue of (believed) Biblical mandate, and for others, modesty is the cited reason for their wardrobe choices. I laid the issue to rest, satisfied that I had studied scriptures about it.

But I haven't been able to completely shake it from my mind.

And it's not because I gained some new insight into scripture and guess what? it really does say we are supposed to wear only dresses! because...I don't believe that.

Still, there was something about it all. What was it?

The first time I heard that pants were sinful I was really thrown for a loop. WHAT? Women have worn pants for as long as I can remember. I was photographed with Santa when I was nearly 2 wearing blue corduroy overalls. (And yes, Santa did think I was a boy.) What exactly is the issue? Women have "women pants" and men have "men pants", right?

Then I heard about distinction and things started making a bit more sense. God created Adam and Even differently. I'm thinking since they were originally wearing no clothes, that distinction was glaringly obvious to them! There was no shame in their nakedness until sin entered the picture. So imagine, if you will, Adam in his birthday suit. He's been working in the Garden for a while now, he's named all the animals and no suitable helper was found for him. He was incomplete. God caused Adam to fall asleep and took one of his ribs and formed the woman. Now when Adam wakes up, there is beautiful, soft, curvy Eve, also in her original birthday suit. How beautiful she must have looked to Adam! God created her to be attractive to him, no doubt. He also made her to be a suitable helper for him--a purpose completely different than Adam's.

Can you agree with me that God made the two sexes distinctly different from each other? Not only were Adam and Eve looking at physical differences between the two of them, but they were created for entirely different purposes! When they were punished and sent out of the Garden, they were given entirely different curses. These two people...representative of all men and women to come...were very, very different from one another. God recognized this, and surely so did Adam and Eve.

Now let's flash forward to today--to 2009. The women's liberation movement has left it's big 'ol footprint on our society in so many ways that honestly, we don't even recognize it sometimes. For women my age and younger, well, we grew up with feminism. "Anything boys can do girls can do better!" is what we sang on the playground. When I was teaching they sang, "Girls rule, boys drool." Heaven knows what they are saying now! Feminism has affected our families, jobs, marriages, country, churches, government, children, the statistics of our population, and yes...our fashion. It's not even possible to discuss women's clothing and not include a study on the history of feminism.

But today I only want to make one point: God created men and women differently. Originally, there was a distinction. Guess what? There still is no matter how badly some would like to erase that fact. No matter what we say goes in marriage and family--only females can have babies--and you still need a male to participate in the making of that baby in some capacity. Physically, we are still different although we try to hide that fact with our clothing.

Do you suppose if women could totally mask the differences seen with the naked eye, then they would be treated as equal? Of course not! Women who join the military must have some things different. No matter how much they would prefer to be treated "just like any other soldier", women have their per*ods while they are in combat. I cannot even imagine that! Women who are soldiers get pregnant. Women who are soldiers are NOT able to do the same physical tasks that men can do.

You can dress like a man, talk like a man, walk like a man, hold a job like a man....but you are still a woman. We have smudged it, but it cannot be erased.

That's my point today. BUT, the crazy, mind-blowing part of all this is....

...people saw this coming!

I borrowed a book called Women Are Wonderful! A History in Cartoons of a Hundred Years With America's Most Controversial Figure. I'm giving full credit for this book, which was published in 1956 and edited by Cole and Robinson. I would like to share a few cartoons from this book with you.

The caption on this first one says, "In some cases it's hard to tell whether they're boys or girls--except by the earrings."

That cartoon above is from the late 1920's and was making fun of "the short skirts and boyish figures" popular during that time. Of course women weren't actually walking around looking that much like men, but the cartoonist saw the road ahead. Perhaps they thought they were only joking!

The woman in this next cartoon, from 1945 says: "I bet you're glad to see an American girl after those horrible savages in the Pacific." And of course, the young man is stricken. I have to say, this cartoon was just a bit convicting. I understand completely how this young sailor would have loved to come home to a lovely feminine girl and just look what he got! How is that different from my husband coming home at the end of the day? Gulp!

Amelia Bloomer popularized the baggy pantaloons worn under skirts that were intended to allow women to participate in more activities. They didn't catch on quite so well at first and were quite shocking to many.

Interesting to me that this cartoonist from the late 1800's saw much further down the road. I would have really thought that women were just fighting for dress reform. But if a cartoonist could see the end result of these changes, did the women (and their husbands) involved in the reform efforts also see the end result? It is entitled "The Bloomer Girl's Wedding."

And the book says, "A picture to put the fear of God into any man in 1896." But really, are you that shocked by it today?

Some think of it as purely a fashion thing. But I think it speaks of so much more.

What do you say about distinction between the sexes?

Raking in the Dough

Tomorrow I'm going to earn some money. The first money I have earned in at least 2+ years. I have always worked up until I quit a few years ago to stay home. I worked from the age of 13 until I went to college. I took off my freshman year at the request of my dad so I could "learn to study." After that I worked the remainder of college and after graduation, began teaching. After I quit teaching, I worked part-time for several years. I have nearly always drawn a paycheck of some sort.

Tomorrow I will use all the training I received as a reading specialist to test a little girl who is struggling with reading. I will earn $10.

I know! But I'm still excited. It feels good to use what I know to help someone else and earn a measly little amount to help our family. Who knows? Maybe testing will turn into some tutoring jobs? It certainly would be nice.

It's hard to trust God for the future sometimes. I know so many families who have operated under the philosophy that mom will stay home when the kids are little and then return to work when they are in school. Many times the reason given is because they have to do something. I mean, in a few years the kids will be in college and they will need money for cars and braces, etc.

I understand that way of thinking, but if you understand God's word to say that wives should be keepers at home, then that plan doesn't work as well. Homeschoolers really have a problem as no matter how old the kids are.....they aren't going to school. It makes it doubly hard for mom to help out earning money. Which makes you begin to question all the things you are "supposed" to do.....college, cars, vacations, etc. Who says that's how we must live?

I've heard women say that they truly believe God wants them to be home, but then when they throw their job application out there and get a job offer, they say that clearly God wanted them to have that job! Either the Bible addresses this or it doesn't. I don't believe God would leave us to wonder on such a huge topic.

We are just better at listening to our culture than God's Word.

So why am I taking this job? Because it will take 1 hour and my kids will not be neglected. I can help a friend, earn a little money in the process and be done. I think there are probably tons of ways for wives to earn money and I am all for that if it can be done from home. The more a job takes a woman away from the home (and from her family!) the more leery I am. It's hard to keep the home if you aren't there.

Ah well. I never thought this way until a few years ago. My heart changed long before I came home. I didn't think there was ANY way I could ever become a homemaker but by the grace of God....I am. Whenever I think of it, I am motivated to work even harder for my family. I am so grateful to be here.

I just found out about a friend who has gone back to work full time as her youngest child is now in school. It breaks my heart to think she is not at her house taking care of things anymore. I am praying for their family. I hope they will decide it's not worth it, trust God, and she will come home again. I do not think it is impossible anymore. The Bible transcends culture and years. His plan for the family still works.

Even if you have to eat a lot of bologna sandwiches. :)

My Life Is a Whirlwind and Our House Proves It

Hi! Allow me to introduce myself. I blog here....sometimes.

I am the one who is learning to homeschool 2 kiddos at once. I know, I know....you moms of many are laughing right now. HA! Two??? That would be like a vacation to me! But it's really new territory for me. It would be easier if they were a bit closer together in age.

I am the one who is actually trying really hard to write lesson plans every week. And keep the homeschool table cleaned off. I will not be sharing a picture of how it looks right now, thank you very much.

I am the one who has been driving to my sister's house this weekend to check on the dogs while she's out of town. She checks on our rabbits while we are gone so, I can't complain.

I am the one who has been sewing and painting furiously trying to get inventory ready for a booth at our local craft mall. We need some more scratch and this would be really nice if it worked out as we can be at home while we work on stuff. I like it when we are all home together.

I am the one who planned and hosted a birthday party last weekend for Sweetheart. She's 10. TEN!!!!

I am the one who has not been to the grocery store in well over a week except for little trips to pick up a day or two worth of stuff. We REALLY need a grocery trip and yet, we've eaten somehow.

I am the one who is taking a day off tomorrow (with husband's blessing--Thank you!!!) to get things in order around here because.....

I am the one who didn't finish the lesson plans.

I am the one who hasn't put sheets on the kids' beds in 3 days.

I am the one who, as mentioned previously, needs to go grocery shopping.

I am the one who must pay bills tomorrow.

I am the one who...who...who.....

...is going to bed now.

Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.
You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.
I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 4:6-8

Why don't you tell us who you are today??? Leave it in the comments or leave a comment linking to your post.

When Revisions Are Necessary

Let's first establish something: I don't WANT any revisions. Revisions to our family and life are fine when they benefit me, but revisions of ME? Not so comfortable.

It has been made terribly evident to me what my funk has been about this last month or so. I feel overwhelmed about the house, the finances, the food and cooking and meal planning and laundry and cleaning and...well....just about my job in general. There isn't one area I feel on top of.

I'm outta control over here folks.

Yesterday I sat down for a day morning of praying and reading (organizational websites and such) and planning. It's hard to do that with the kids in the house and I was thinking that idea for a weekend getaway for the husband and I before the new homeschool year starts was a good idea. Where did I read that? She said to go somewhere nice but not too nice--you'll need to stay in the hotel and actually get some planning done part of the time you are there. But, that's not going to happen any time soon and I've got to get control around here.

So I wrote out a lot of thoughts yesterday, but I didn't get a lot decided. It was good to read over things I know, but have forgotten. It was good to sit and try to make a plan rather than just wander around putting out fires. I wish I could finish that today, but I don't believe there's time in the schedule today.

Today will be a day for rocks. I decided my rocks are: cleaning the kitchen, picking up the living room, doing a bit of laundry or ironing, homeschooling, and making the beds. These are the bare minimum. BARE minimum. So now I can give myself permission to do only those things some days.

I'm still working on the rest of my plan. I don't need to just declutter. I don't need to buy new organizational tools. I don't need to do anything really to the house----I need to change ME. I have to change my habits. I have to become that which, to this point in my life I have considered completely impossible.

I have to become an organized person.

I have never considered myself organized. Probably because it is not in my nature. One of my favorite shirts (sister gave it to me--she knows me well) says:

People like me, who struggle with organization, always laugh when they see that shirt and ask where I got it. Yes, it's funny. Yes, I am not a B.O. (Born Organized--a la Fly Lady). But when it comes to this home and family, I've got no choice.

I have to become organized.

I cannot transform myself, but am depending on the Lord's help. If this revision does not occur, I might lose my mind. God has called me home, so I know He can help me learn what I need to be able to do this job. I remember how happy I was when I first came home part-time. ALL I have to do is the dishes and the laundry??? I thought it was all so simple! It sure seemed a lot more simple than working full time AND trying to keep a house.

But this snake of a messy house and all the homemaking responsibilities has started swallowing me up. Do you know that old song (oh, I think it's a Shel Silverstein peom) about being eaten by a boa constrictor? Oh no! He's up to my toe. Oh gee! He's up to my knee. Oh fiddle! He's up to my middle.

Well, I'm on the "Oh heck! He's up to my neck." part.

So, that's the latest revision around here. I know thousands upon thousands of women have worked all this out before me. I could just read and apply their wisdom....but I really think you have to work it out yourself.

Anyway, I'll be sharing as usual.

Amazingly, It's Not a Children's Book

I don't read much. I'm not one of those literary blogs with lists of things I plan to read this year.

Wait! I read the back of the Bisquick box this morning.

Every now and then I make time for a grown up book. I have found the MOST INTERESTING book ever!!! It's called A Medieval Home Companion--Housekeeping In the Fourteenth Century. The original manuscripts were written in the late 1300's by an older husband (maybe in his fifties or sixties) who had married a 15 year old bride. This instruction book was written to help her know all about running a home and conducting herself as a wife. He knew she might be widowed young and need some help, as she was an orphan.

The translator/editor did mention that "in deference to modern sensibilities" she left out a lot of the passages about wives obeying and being humble to their husbands. I thought that was a shame, as I would have liked to read the thinking of that time period. Still, I think there will be enough to read about it.

I am not very far into the book at all, but I am so intrigued by it. One section is about the wife needing to be sure she is respectably dressed. He encouraged his young bride to not be like some women who walk around with

"their heads appallingly elevated, like a lion, their hair sticking out of their headdresses, and the collars of their shifts and dresses overlapping--walking mannishly and conducting themselves before people indecently and without shame."

Interesting. I wonder what this poor man would think of women today!

A New One on Me

I had never heard of this phrase "work spouse." I found this article both interesting and disturbing all at the same time. What do you think?

Nerd Confessions

When I get really interested in something, I research it. I read everything I can on the subject. I think about it a lot. And then when I've learned everything I want about that subject, I'll move on.

I'll give you an example of my nerdiness. Many years ago before we had children, the movie Apollo 13 came out. S and I went to see it and I was so amazed! I had never heard about this event in my life! We talked to our parents about it afterward and my dad remembered it very well. He talked about the early space program and I began to understand why my dad used to wake us up to see shuttle launches when we were younger. It had been no big deal to me--I was born into a world where man had been to the moon. But I began to marvel at the whole thing.

I also got confused. I didn't know the difference between the Gemini, Apollo, and Mercury missions. So, I started researching. I got SO interested in the early space program! I read autobiographies of astronauts, I watched movies that had been made, I looked up what few websites were available back then. I even went to our library where they have bound LIFE magazines on the shelves and looked up old articles about the astronauts and the space program.

So. Did you know I was that big of nerd?

(That was a rhetorical question, by the way.)

I'm thick in the middle of a topic of interest right now but I'm not quite ready to blog about it. OH but I'm going to! As soon as all of this stuff I've read has a chance to bounce around in my brain for a while. My head is swimming with new information!

But I will tell you that it's about women's clothing. And it's not the "pants are sinful, dresses are mandated from heaven" argument because I've already studied and settled that one a few years ago. I have found out some really interesting things and I think some of you might be interested in them too.

So, hopefully soon!

But right now: your Fitness Friday assignment, if you choose to accept it:

Things That Make You Feel Good

Yeah, yeah. We all know "eating good foods" and "exercising" make us feel good. I want specifics. What habits and things in your life make you feel your best? Maybe thinking this out will help us incorporate more of these things into our daily lives. See you Friday!

Thoughts On My Hair

A note before we begin: This post is about my hair. It's not about anyone else's hair. I spend precious little time thinking about other women's hair. :)

I have had my hair all kinds of ways. My hair is naturally stick straight, but for about a decade there I permed it regularly. I loved perms--made me sad when they went out of style. I've worn my hair short, long, and in between. I'm a bit ashamed to admit it but I was fairly cutting edge back in the day and even had asymmetrical hair for a time. (shudder)

I was of the generation (a lot of you will be able to relate to this!) where your hairstyle was all about the bangs. We curled those bangs and while the curling iron was on our hair, sprayed hair spray DIRECTLY onto the barrel of the curling iron. (insert sizzling sound here) The adjective "crunchy" comes to mind.

When I was a teenager I always used to hear that "guys like long hair." Every male I ever heard talk about girls' hair agreed. I thought "well that's great--but it's not THEIR hair!" I well remember telling my husband early on in our marriage that I would grow my hair out long for him if he would get up early and fix it for me every morning. I said it jokingly of course, but the attitude was "who are you to have an opinion about MY hair?" The word "feminism" comes to mind.

Several years ago I was reading 1 Corinthians 11:3-16. It was a passage of scripture I had certainly read many times before. In the past, I had breezed right past this little passage without giving it much thought. It wasn't that I thought it wasn't "culturally relevant" (a common argument), it's just that I hadn't thought much of it.

With a changed heart and new eyes, I began to study this section of scripture more carefully. I see how folks who believe in wearing head coverings came to their conclusion. And if a woman wears a head covering in obedience to scripture...having studied it herself and come to this conclusion...then I admire her heart for the Lord. I believe the part of the scripture that says, "For long hair is given to her as a covering." (v. 15) But before we get to that...

The really important part of this passage to me is the order of the family. Many people agree with this part of the passage, by the way. "Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." (v. 3) S and I were lucky to be taught this order in high school. It was likened to an umbrella of protection. It's easy to understand, as a teenager, that our parents were under Christ and we were under our parents. When a child rebels against, or steps out from under that order, he or she is unprotected, both physically and spiritually speaking. It is a much different thing to admit, as a wife, that you are under your husband. That's a bit of a stretch away from "modern thinking."

Now this passage is talking about worship--praying and prophesying are mentioned. But there are so many larger truths packed in those paragraphs. The passage goes on to mention, "the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head." (v. 10) It talks about "the very nature of things" (v. 14) and also about long hair being a woman's glory (v. 15). Oh, there is a lot to study in that passage!

And study it I did. I talked with my husband about it too. We studied it together. I DO NOT understand everything in this passage of scripture, let me be clear! But I walked away from it with a different perspective. Doesn't it make sense? A woman has long hair and a man does not. "if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him..." (v. 14). Things were like this for hundreds and hundreds of years. Study the history of women's hair. Study the effects of feminism. (Click on "You've Come a Long Way, Baby!" EXCELLENT!) A sign of authority. My husband is over me. Hmm. Hmm. It had me thinking.

Now, women who don't wish to let their thoughts go in the direction mine went, will probably prefer to think about this verse:
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7b
I've heard that phrase "God looks at the heart" used when speaking of clothing, modesty, and hair. And I know that it is true. I could have hair longer than anyone and an ugly, disobedient, rebellious heart. I could have the shortest hair ever for a woman and have the most lovely, obedient, submissive heart you could imagine. It truly isn't a "sign of obedience" for a woman to have long hair. It won't tell YOU a thing about me other than the fact that I have grown my hair out.

But with the decision to grow out my hair did come a submissive heart. I did it for the Lord, and for my husband. It was a way of showing that I understood, and accepted, God's order. That's how it started out. Is there a certain length I was going for? Nope. My hair has been what I would consider long for quite some time. I do not grow more spiritual with every inch I add to my hair length. It also had a little to do with cultural rebellion. Yep, I was rebelling against rebelling. Confusing enough for you? Our culture has become too unisex, to masculine, too...a lot of things. Growing my hair out was a return to order for me. A statement that I am feminine (well, somewhat...I'm a work in progress!).

I got used to my long hair and haven't thought about all these reasons for a while. Lately these thoughts have been coming back to me because my hair has gotten just long enough to drive me crazy. You know that length where it gets in your armpits? TMI? :0 NO, I did not say I was growing out armpit hair!!!!

OK--back to the topic...my hair is just long enough right now to be a burden. About a month ago I asked S if he would trim it for me in the evening because it was making me crazy. We didn't have time that night and the hair just kept growing. And last week I was really thinking about that burden of long hair.

It reminds me.

It reminds me that I am under my husband (who is under Christ). It reminds me of his and His authority over me. Every time I move my hair out of the way so I can do something, every time I rummage around for a clip to put it up, every time I brush it out....I am reminded.

If I had short hair I could do some things easier. It would give me more independence. More free time. Less worry. Less of a burden.

And I would be my own woman.

But I am not my own. I have a small burden to remind me of the place the Lord has asked me to occupy. And that is why...right now....I'm keeping it just like it is.