Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Casually Feminine: Hairs the Deal

OK, now that we've got ourselves thinking about what we sleep in so our dear husbands see loveliness first thing in the made sense to start at the top.

The head. The hair on our head. I have long hair and I'm working on my daughters having long hair as well. Little Bit, bless her heart doesn't have much hair. Never has. Sweetheart has kind of half-curly/half-straight hair which translates to "poof head" or sometimes "feral child."

I've written about my reasons for keeping long hair here. No matter the length of your hair, (Little Bit decidedly does not have "long" hair yet even at the age of 6) I think it is important for it to look feminine. That will be different for different races and cultures. "Feminine" to Scotch-Irish American stick-straight-hair me might be completely different than for another lady. That's why I think it is imprtant to remember that feminine is the opposite of masculine. When you can't tell the difference between man and woman.....that's not right.

So, I'm a big fan of the clip. It's my grown-up version of the pony tail. Husband prefers my hair pulled back in a low ponytail. I prefer it down to sleep even though sometimes it seems to take over and I get all tangled up. I wish I could braid my own hair really well but my arms don't seem to want to do that.

Really, a personal hairdresser would be nice.

I don't color my hair and hope that I never decide to. I figure this is the color God wanted me to have. I very rarely go get it cut and I do almost nothing to it except on Sunday mornings I blow dry the front and top to help things along.

I've had my hair VERY short before. In fact, I would dare say that my hair has been short for far more of my life than it has been long. When I was growing up (FIRL can attest to this) I had short hair and I looked like a boy. Ug. Didn't dress much like a girl either except to church.

I don't fuss with my girls' hair much unless we are going somewhere. Sweetheart has pretty much outgrown bows in her hair, but I love these pony tail scarves I made for Christmas. I think the point is, do something. Fix it in some way or at least make sure it's clean and brushed. Every child's hair is so different I cannot tell you what you should do, but I do think we need to teach our girls that fixing their hair is a good thing. And on that note, I have a quote:

" not careless of the good looks that nature has given to you...untidiness and carelessness hide the beauty of kind deeds---but greatness of soul and nobility of heart hide homeliness of face...Take time to make yourself presentable, but do not use the time before your glass that should be given to loving service." --Mabel Hale in Beautiful Girlhood

Well said, Mabel. I guess to sum it up, our hair should not look like men's hair. We should strive for it to look neat and lovely, but not to the loss of more important things in life. I love to look at sites that show you how to do all these lovely updos, but remember, we are talking about being casually feminine and mostly, those hairdos don't fit into my daily life. (I'd still like that personal stylist to try them out on me though, ok?)

Whatever you do, I think we can all agree that all day bed-head is taking it a bit far. Right?

Now. Sigh. JulieMom thinks we need to discuss other hair. Unwanted facial hair. Hair in other places that our culture deems should be removed. I have 2 things to say about that.

1. The facial hair? Remove it for goodness sake. I don't want to know how. Pluck, shave, wax, whatever.

2. I'm all for shaving your legs and underarms, but remember: dressing modestly = far less concern about hair removal.

I just think women used to know this!

Your turn! Join in and share with us about your hair. Your woes, your successes, your do you keep your hair casually feminine?


  1. So, can we get a pic of you in the clip that has replaced ponytails? I want to see how long your hair is now.

    And I think you should train the hubby (or one of the girls) to braid your hair before bed. It makes brushing out in the morning SO MUCH easier! I used to do it for Sleeping Beauty all the time. Give it a try! :0)

    And thanks for tackling the OTHER hair. You're a trooper!

  2. Okay, Brenda. I don't think I have ever, ever, in our 3 year blogging relationship disagreed with you on anything before. But on this point, I want to ask you to look at it from another angle:

    Dressing modestly means far less concern about hair removal.

    Well, yes and no. Whether its right or wrong, my husband likes smooth legs. I do, too, for that matter. I've also found that less underarm hair means less sweat. I live in FL. You live in TX. That matters in our neck of the woods.

    You also pointed out in an earlier post that the locked master bedroom door is no place for modesty. I agree whole heartedly and I think on those occasions when we are wearing something besides our cute (yet modest) PJ's, smooth skin is probably more attractive than patches of hair here and there.

    Sorry if that was too much info, but just wanted to point out that there is a place for hair removal even among the most modest of women. It should be a question we take to our huisbands for their opinion. Obviously, my husband likes excxess hair removed.

  3. I think Terry hit the nail on the head with the second-to-last line of her comment: the best approach is to ask our husbands about hair removal. In a discreet/polite way of course -- at least, I know my husband prefers a little mystery when it comes to things like this. I have to admit that this particular topic has always baffled me a little (okay, a lot) when it comes to "intimate area" hair. I think I must have missed the memo on what's considered normal and how to accomplish it. I continue in ignorance since my husband seems happy with how I am. But with an upcoming move to Florida and more swimsuits in my future, I may have to spend more time on this.

  4. Here, here to Terry and Megan! I keep my hair in the length my husband prefers it. Not because he's told me to (because he wouldn't) but because it's what he likes best--and I want to look like what he likes best! :)

  5. No, no Terry! That's not what I meant at all! I shave my legs and underarms every single day. I was thinking more of swimsuits and short shorts and the need to not shave EVERYWHERE if you get my drift. That picture is of Victorian swimsuits. Those women didn't have to go home and shower and take care of things before they hit the beach as I always had to in high school and spur of the moment beach trips back then!
    Definitely keep things nice for husband. Is that clear-er? :)

  6. Great points, ladies! And, I am really glad to see that husbands are our main motivation for what we do when it comes to hair. :)

  7. Yep, Brenda. That's much more clear. I didn't realize that those were pictures of swimsuits.

    Wow! We've gotten a long way from that level of modesty.


I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)