Thursday, January 28, 2010

Teach Me To Be a Mommy

That's Sweetheart's constant request.

I usually don't take my kids to the grocery store. Somewhere along the way, we all got into the habit of them going to my parent's house while I shop. My dad tells me to send them down and honestly, who wouldn't want to shop alone? But the other day I decided to make them come because children need to shop with you. It's a good lesson.

Sweetheart wanted me to teach her to shop and she was all business. So I talked to her about checking the best price and how much you get for that price, etc. She took it very seriously as I sent her to pick out the best deal on crackers or whatever. She was pretty good at it and pretty harsh too. We weren't getting anything if it wasn't on sale or off-brand by golly.

Little Bit had a job too. That girl is GREAT at finding things. If ever anything is lost in this house, she's the one to call. She remembers where she saw it last and goes straight to it. It's nearly like a photographic memory but I won't go there since we've been working on the numbers 11-20 for two weeks now.

Anyway, I gave Little Bit the job of finding the in-store coupons that hang up here and there around the store. She was all over that job.

I've been feeling the weight of training them lately. I have only girls, which is different than parenting only boys, or those with both. I am the main example for these chickens. I've been thinking about the need to train them to be excellent helpers to their future husbands (hopefully). I want my girls to be very equipped to run a house when they marry. I don't want the to have to flounder around for years feeling overwhelmed.

This summer, instead of doing weekly themes, sister and I have decided to make this a summer of homemaking skills. Each week when our girls get together there will be a sewing project or cooking project, etc.

And I'm excited about that, but honestly I know the biggest way to teach our children is just day to day. The difference is in the narration. Instead of just having them help with something, or do something......I must talk them through it. I must explain why we do things this or that way. I must say things like, "When you grow up and have your own house....." I know that these everyday things are very important.

How do you train your daughters?


  1. I would love to go the store myself. Because they always go with me.

    But now that you have encouraged us to use it as a teachable moment, I suppose I'll focus on that. Even if I have to tell my son to get off the floor 57 times. In one aisle.

    How do I train my daughter? Hmmm.... good question. I have a lot of things in which I would like to train Grace (cooking, cleaning, laundry, sewing-- when I learn how, etc.) but sometimes I have the thought that it's easier (read: faster) to do it myself. Thanks for the gentle nudge. I'll be pondering on this today.

  2. I always take mine to the grocery store! Ugh, I wish I could go alone, it would make things quicker and easier. I totally understand Karly having to tell her son get up off the floor! Last time we went grocery shopping, Big boy put his tongue on one of the metal carts that they use to transport boxes from isle to isle when stocking them. I was completely disgusted and repulsed at it. I just can't even fathom what made him put his tongue on something in a store!!!! A lady who saw him and my chastising of him, said "honey, mine used to eat off the floor in the grocery isles" Apparently, anything on the floor was dibs for him! UUUUHHHH, I can't even imagine that one happening! YUCK!!!

  3. Awwwww. I just want a daughter so bad!!!!! My heart aches when I read posts like this one. Great job, Brenda.

  4. MT2---and I would like a boy! :)

    Your job is SO important b/c all this training is for nothing if our girls can't find good, godly men to marry!!!!

    Your job is just different.

  5. Keep are on the correct path. My children are grown now, a boy and a girl and allowing them to see what you do and explaining why you do it helps the world make sense to them. I know it is difficult to always have them with you as you try to take care of your families needs...but this is needed as well. I would adjust what time I went shopping...early in the morning...the stores are quiet., perfect for the 'special time' your children need with know they 'help' with the important jobs that Mommy does and in the activities grow and learn life skills. A shopping trip to the grocery store held great lessons when I home schooled and when I didn' doesn't teach life lessons. I still remember, the pride on my Childs face as I would guide them to an aisle and ask each of them to pick up what I needed, eager to please, bending slightly to pick up oatmeal from the bottom shelf and smiling up at me when item was delivered....those days go quickly...enjoy them.
    Now, that being said...don't forget to leave them with grandparents often as lessons are learned there and special bonds are formed.
    My son and daughter are very different., as God designed...and will crave to learn different things...just follow their bend....I always tried to recognize that they were like a tree, each with various branches of interest, each growing in their own unique way. I didn't force things on them that wasn't their bent as I believed God designed them the way they are and they are 'wonderfully made'...and grow so soon.
    Take Care,
    Sherri Ann

  6. I feel like I'm falling down on this so far with MyPrincess. She's been so into being "daddy's girl" lately, that I've just stepped into the background. I guess I just assume she'll come to me about it. Like she did the "makeover". I don't know, but I appreciate that you made me think on it. And I SO want to be in on your summer fun.

  7. We take our kids with us everywhere, since we're in a foreign country and don't have sitters often.

    I have my printed out Excel spreadsheet with all necessary items circled, (after having gone through my meal plan calendar to determine what is needed) and the girls love to help gather the items.

    The oldest is the most into it right now, as the other two love to screw around in a cart Daddy pushes.

    There's a great program called Training Our Daughters to be Keepers at Home. I bought the CD set, and it's awesome.

    You're supposed to start when your daughter is ten, and by the time she's seventeen she'll have all the skills she'll need to set up and maintain her own home. I haven't started yet (next year's curriculum) but what I've read is SO GOOD.

    Here's a link to a reasonably priced CD set:

    and here's a link to a review of it:

    You'll also need the book The King's Daughter and other Stories, which you can find here:

    Sorry for the long comment, but I think it's worth checking out!

  8. I ran across that curriculum the other day and I was overwhelemed by it! I'm glad to hear of someone who has it. I'll look into it again. I found the CDs and that book here:

    I can't imagine getting all the lessons done but anything is better than nothing, right?


I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)