At 10:00 last night S started listing things he still needed to do. The kitchen was on my list. But I pointed out that the day was over. We ran out of day. The pioneers knew when to quit working---they quit when they ran out of daylight.
"Darn artificial lighting," he said.
It's true. We would do so much better to work until the day was done and then do some sit down work and then QUIT. But we continue to be convinced that nothing will keep operating without our direct involvement. We must work until bedtime/exhaustion every night because we need more money and how will God ever be able to provide for us if we don't run ourselves silly?
I'm kidding there. But it's true that, as Americans, we feel very self-sufficient. And very much like it all depends on us. Anyone else struggle with that? I'm not saying we shouldn't work hard--just that we are very disillusioned about who is in control.
On a happy note, I was praying yesterday about finances and how I could help. By the way, I stopped praying for "us" to know what to do and started praying that my husband would have the wisdom to make the right financial decisions and that my husband would have peace about everything. It may seem like a small thing, but I believe we should pray for our husbands as they are the head of the family. And that our children should learn to pray for their dad in that way.
But God did hear my prayer. This morning I got a message from a friend wondering if they could pay me to give their daughter sewing lessons once a week!
Every now and then I fall back into old habits of worrying. I foresee things coming up that we will need to pay for and HOW WILL WE EVER DO IT and I forget all the times that God has been faithful. Um, which is ALWAYS. But mostly, I remember. I remember what a miracle it is to me that I am home and we are still making it when it seemed so completely impossible just a few short years ago. Do I know all the answers to how we will handle the tires that need replacing and the dental visits that need to happen and all the other things I could sit and think of?
But I know Someone Who does.
And can I just say that trusting feels a lot better than worrying?