Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Permission Granted

I need time to sew. I need time to craft. I need time to make Christmas presents.

Hello? Brenda, you stay at home. HOW can you possibly NOT have time to sew and make presents?

I know! I'm asking myself the same thing! When I worked full time I was POSITIVE that if I "could just stay home" I would always have time and never be stressed about anything.

Oh and my house was going to be clean too.

Do you know what I almost caught myself thinking the other day? I'm really almost ashamed to admit it. I started to think, "If I could just be like those women who stay home but send their kids to publi..." ACK! I almost went there in my mind! It isn't that I want to send my kids off to public school--I don't. I love homeschooling them and even when I don't love it we are going to still do it because it's the right thing to do. It's just that I'm a bit envious of the thought of 7 or 8 hours alone. To do whatever.

So, the grass always looks greener....but it's not.

The real reason I can't get the presents done is that I can't give myself permission to. There are always so many other pressing things that need to be done that sewing seems frivolous. And plus the house is a mess including the sewing room and I first have to hack a path to the table. To do that, I have to move the ironing board. There's really no point in moving the ironing board until I get husband's shirts ironed. And really, I probably ought to just go ahead and run a load of clothes first....

See how that happens?

But I had a meltdown the other night and told S that, inexplicably, I need help. I KNOW I'm home all day. I KNOW I should be able to keep up with this house. But, obviously, that isn't the case. So we had a talk about needing to declutter vs. our family just needing better habits and I realized he was right and just decluttering is really not the (whole) answer. Anyway...he helped me clean up the kitchen and living room really good and they have stayed nice all week. I feel so much better and on top of things. And by the way, I am really very thankful that I listened to God. When I prayed for help the other day all I kept thinking was, "Ask S." That's what God wanted me to do! He gave me this wonderful husband for a reason, people!

Now I just need to give myself permission to sew. EVEN if there is laundry that needs to be put up. And EVEN if there are toys that need to be sorted. It doesn't have to be for the whole day, but surely I can carve an hour or 2 out of the day to work on stuff.

I mean, I HAVE to...it's already December 3! And boy would I rather be here at home working on a gift for a loved one than in the stores fighting crowds and spending a bunch of money!

How's your Christmas present getting going? (Read that again, it really does make sense!)


Fitness Friday Assignment: Tell us about your best feature! NOT your wonderful sense of humor or your fun personality...I want to know what you LIKE about your body. Our self esteem is not completely shot just b/c we are heavier or more out of shape than we want to be. Come on...think hard. What do you like about the way you look?

9 comments:

  1. Will you grant me permission to get my gifts made, too? And will you ban me from the computer? :) So glad you are feeling better about your home.

    I love the Fitness Friday topic this week. I skipped TWO weeks and am ready to get back on the wagon. :)

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  2. Permission Granted! Christmas is right around the corner, and you MUST get those projects and gifts done. The laundry will still be there after Christmas. Promise! The clutter is nobody's business but yours. If it drives YOU craze, that is one thing. But if you can live with it until you get your projects done, then it really doesn't matter.

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  3. Oh Brenda, this post sparked so many thoughts in me. Be on the lookout for the post next week. Thanks to you, the synapses are firing like crazy.

    Ironically, I was just thinking that I can't wait until I'm finished dealing with public schools for the EXACT SAME reasons you mentioned here. The school schedule that consumes our life and makes it virtually impossible for me to train my kids the way I desire or for them to be consistent contributors to family life. But, like S (wise man you got there) I also realize that we could do a much better job of managing the hours we DO have then we have done thus far. Starting with cutting back on the boob tube even more than we have in recent months.

    Of course, when I didn't have babies underfoot, it was much easier and I really can appreciate the INSANE notion you entertained, if only for a moment. Still, as I hope to explore soon, the potential for a rich family life is so much greater as a homeschooler than it is with kids in school.

    As for the fitness friday assignment, I think this will probably be one of the easier ones for me. I think. Looking forward to it.

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  4. This year I didn't make a thing for anyone...I bought all of it....before Thanksgiving!!! And boy am I glad I did that. Because now, all I have to do is wrap everything :) I wish I could sew all my gifts though. Actually I can...I wish I would choose to sew all my gifts :)

    Oh yea, about the ironing. I used to get all freaked out by all the ironing of my husbands clothes too. THEN, I decided to not do it all at once anymore and just do what he needed for the next day, and then he decided that even he could do that! So problem solved. I don't iron for him anymore...just wash and dry :) Ask S if he is willing to do that to take a little burden off your plate :)

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  5. and yes...permission is granted...you only have 3 weeks left!!

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  6. I totally know what you mean about giving myself permission to do something that even though it needs to be done seems to fall under the "just for fun" category. Hence the quilt of Missy's that I have been working on for FIVE years. Because I really haven't been diligently working on it at all, but just here and there when I can "spare the time". But do you know, her eyes lit up last month when I got it out to work on, and even though she knows what it looks like, she said "can that be my Christmas present?" It's not going to be done at Christmas, but maybe by her birthday, which is only 3 weeks later. That was the best incentive in the world to me... to remember that it's important to her!
    Anyway, hope you have a lot of fun!

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  7. Get the presents done, woman! :0)

    Then as a Christmas gift to yourself and your family, have a pow-wow with S and the girls, and start new habits! (Time management may be a good starting place-it was for me!)

    Everyone working together to keep a house (and life!) presentable and organized is a great gift. You can do it!

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  8. Yes, make time to sew! it is important too! and you are right you would be spending time away shopping- and gas money and the enevitable eating out money because your errands went long nad you have to "grab a bite"

    do not allow guilt!

    my Christmas getting is going good!

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  9. Oh, I feel just like this!!! It's the "But-first Syndrome"! But first, I have to do this! It can be so overwhelming! Seeing how behind I am in reading these, I'm so glad you gave yourself permission and found time to sew! You did a fabulous job! I'm trying to focus my mind on a little part of the house/room at a time...or like you do, start at one side and work my way to the other...it's not so overwhelming that way and I feel I'm accomplishing a little. :)

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I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)