I'll be really honest with you: I was sort of disappointed in my husband's reaction to fatherhood. I remember when he would walk in the door after work, look across the room at me and the baby, ask how she was, and then UNFEELINGLY go set his stuff down and change clothes. Then he would walk through the house to do something else. How dare he! :) (Post-birth hormones anyone?)
Confused? What I wanted...and expected sort of, was a husband who would walk in the door, throw his stuff down and come right over to the baby and want to hold her. I had been holding and admiring her for hours in complete awe and I wanted him to feel the same way. I wanted him to smile and coo and fawn over the baby just like I did. Don't get me wrong, I know he loved our babies, but I was kind of wanting him to act like..well, a woman!
A few months later, a friend who is a little older told me her husband was the same way when their girls were younger. But now, she told me, he is super dad. Now that the girls are older he is SO good with them. Hmm. That brought me some hope. And I have watched it play out here in our home.
I don't mean to imply that he used to be a "bad" dad and now he is a "good" dad...not at all. Just that as they have grown, it has all changed so much. Immediately after they were not nursing and were potty trained he was already more comfortable being alone with them. As they grew and could walk and talk and communicate needs better, he didn't mind taking them places by himself. And I can already tell you that the closer they get to "teenager", the more comfortable parent will be him. I was the one with all the ease of parenting during infancy and preschool years. He will be the one when they are older.
I'm so thankful for him now and just shake my head at myself for ever wondering about him as a dad. (ha!) He is so good with them and just handles problems that I am completely befuddled by with no problem.
One example of this is our girls' spiritual development. I am all about the singing "Jesus Loves Me" and the flannel board stories and the Bible crafts and everything "little kid" about Bible learning. But last night when our daughter was asking question in the car? I was very thankful for my husband. I feel very out of my league. Sweetheart has been peppering Daddy with questions about the Trinity, other religions, you name it. ACK! WOULDN'T ANYONE LIKE TO SING ZACCHAEUS WAS A WEE LITTLE MAN??
Needless to say, the Lord knew what he was doing when he paired S and I together as parents. Our girls have had a strong start (I'd like to think) in their younger years, and they will have a strong finish (finishing their childhood, that is) with their Dad in charge. I am very thankful for him.
And I've been studying and trying to keep on my toes too! After all, I can't say "ask your dad when he gets home" TOO many times in the day. I am the homeschool teacher!
And this is one reason why I have been praying for S to be able to be home more. He works so hard for our family, but if he could work one job instead of 2, that would give him a lot more time in the evenings to teach our girls about God's Word. Praying!!
Keep Praying! Mr Perfect had one full time and 4 part time jobs and is a month away from being down to a full time and 1 part time. The Lord provides, just keep praying!!!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this! And I, too, am very grateful for my husband who handles the emotional ups and downs of pre-teen and teenagedom than I do! And those hard questions too.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this one, Brenda.
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