It has been made terribly evident to me what my funk has been about this last month or so. I feel overwhelmed about the house, the finances, the food and cooking and meal planning and laundry and cleaning and...well....just about my job in general. There isn't one area I feel on top of.
I'm outta control over here folks.
Yesterday I sat down for a
day morning of praying and reading (organizational websites and such) and planning. It's hard to do that with the kids in the house and I was thinking that idea for a weekend getaway for the husband and I before the new homeschool year starts was a good idea. Where did I read that? She said to go somewhere nice but not too nice--you'll need to stay in the hotel and actually get some planning done part of the time you are there. But, that's not going to happen any time soon and I've got to get control around here.
So I wrote out a lot of thoughts yesterday, but I didn't get a lot decided. It was good to read over things I know, but have forgotten. It was good to sit and try to make a plan rather than just wander around putting out fires. I wish I could finish that today, but I don't believe there's time in the schedule today.
Today will be a day for rocks. I decided my rocks are: cleaning the kitchen, picking up the living room, doing a bit of laundry or ironing, homeschooling, and making the beds. These are the bare minimum. BARE minimum. So now I can give myself permission to do only those things some days.
I'm still working on the rest of my plan. I don't need to just declutter. I don't need to buy new organizational tools. I don't need to do anything really to the house----I need to change ME. I have to change my habits. I have to become that which, to this point in my life I have considered completely impossible.
I have to become an organized person.
I have never considered myself organized. Probably because it is not in my nature. One of my favorite shirts (sister gave it to me--she knows me well) says:
People like me, who struggle with organization, always laugh when they see that shirt and ask where I got it. Yes, it's funny. Yes, I am not a B.O. (Born Organized--a la Fly Lady). But when it comes to this home and family, I've got no choice.
I have to become organized.
I cannot transform myself, but am depending on the Lord's help. If this revision does not occur, I might lose my mind. God has called me home, so I know He can help me learn what I need to be able to do this job. I remember how happy I was when I first came home part-time. ALL I have to do is the dishes and the laundry??? I thought it was all so simple! It sure seemed a lot more simple than working full time AND trying to keep a house.
But this snake of a messy house and all the homemaking responsibilities has started swallowing me up. Do you know that old song (oh, I think it's a Shel Silverstein peom) about being eaten by a boa constrictor? Oh no! He's up to my toe. Oh gee! He's up to my knee. Oh fiddle! He's up to my middle.
Well, I'm on the "Oh heck! He's up to my neck." part.
So, that's the latest revision around here. I know thousands upon thousands of women have worked all this out before me. I could just read and apply their wisdom....but I really think you have to work it out yourself.
Anyway, I'll be sharing as usual.