Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I'm Handing Over the Red Pen

A while back I wrote about the stress of all the changes to our family. Like I said, these are things I prayed for. They are blessings--straight from God. But they are big revisions to the way our family operates! So, my husband is at his new job, daughter is home from school, and in 3 days I quit my job. It's all almost, finally, here.

So, 4 years ago this is what we looked like: we were a 2 full-time working parents, 1 child at the babysitter's house and 1 on the way, church-attending, hobby-pursuing, maybe one day we'll actually put some money in savings, not much thought to what the Lord wants for our lives family.

And now? We are a 1 income, 1 homemaker, 2 children, pay the bills AND put some money in savings, part-time youth ministry, Bible studying, trying to see how God wants us to stand out from the world family.

I am so excited. I am so determined. I am so blessed. I am so full of big plans.

And I am also a little bit scared.

I'm scared because I see families like this, whom I admire very much, and I just don't see us ever being like that. I don't want to be just like them--but there are things about the Maxwells, and many other families I have met online, that I hope do make their way into our family. That's another post entirely. The point is, I don't want to be the family we were 4 years ago, except oh yeah, mom stays home now and so do the kids. I want to be a totally different family than those I see around me in real life.

I think what I'm scared of is that I won't live up to this standard. I feel that for our children to turn out well--a lot is depending on me. For our home to be a comfort and place of rest for my family--a lot is depending on me. Hey folks, it's easier to drop those kids off with someone and go to the office. Trust me! How will I ever accomplish what I want to see in our family? I'm no spiritual giant!

And then...I read this post at The Flourishing Mother. And I read this post that she linked to. Then I read this other post that she linked to. And now I am filled with peace. Peace because I remember that God is the one making the revisions on this family. I'm the one hopping around pointing out families I admire and saying, "Like that, God? Is that what you want?"

I'm thinking it would work better for me to pray. And trust. And spend my whole days walking with God. And let Him be the Reviser. Please read these posts. And may they bless you the way they blessed me today.

1 comment:

  1. Brenda,
    How exciting what the Lord is doing in your life..I am so excited *for* you! I would hold your hand with you, but God does that *so* much better! I guarantee, pretty soon you'll be off and running....
    God has amazing things planned for you, and you just have to be obedient to Him. Don't try to "do", just "abide". It sounds like you are already doing this.
    Blessings on your journey!! I look forward to reading all about it.


I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)