Friday, June 1, 2007

Attention: I Am Not A SAHM

My mom has every church directory from our church since the sixties. I like looking at the old black and white pictures and seeing how the old folks at church used to look back when they were young parents. I have always been intrigued by the information on the pages as well. Next to most of the women's names it says, "Occupation: Homemaker." I remember asking my mom what that meant when I was little.

It means much more to me than today's title of "Stay At Home Mom." I know, I know. The SAHM title came about as women returned home from the work-force. So, we are divided into two camps: SAHMS and Working Mothers. Oh, and then you have the WAHMS. And those of us who work part time and stay home part time and don't really know where we fit in. There is even a magazine devoted to working mothers. I hate looking at it. It's all designed to make you not feel guilty about being away from your kids all day. No, it's more than that. It's designed to make you believe that what you are doing is actually GOOD for your kids! They constantly have articles with titles like, "How I Make It All Work," "What Worked For Our Family," or "The Benefits of Daycare." It makes me sick.

I even notice ads these days. You can have an innocent ad for juice and the picture will be of a mom in heels and pants with her briefcase beside her on the floor, lovingly handing a juice box to her toddler on their way out the door in the morning. The ad will say something about how you work hard to give your kids the best of everything (including nutritious juice!). You are such a great mom.

I am NOT getting down on moms who work. I have been one for a long time. I AM sick of the lies that we women are fed. I am sick of the implied messages we recieve all day. I am sick of no one being a homemaker anymore.

When I think of the older ladies at my church when I was growing up, I think of their wonderful homes. Everything was neat and tidy. They cooked and sewed clothes. They worked hard in the garden and put up food in cans. I'm not talking about 1 or 2 women I knew either. These ladies made their homes. They didn't just stay home with kids.

I think that's the difference for me. I don't want to just be a stay at home mom. I used to just stay home in the summers and my house never looked much better than it did during the school year. I just stayed home and nothing got organized. I just stayed home and then when school started my husband was on his own for clothes and food.

I want to be a homemaker. Raising the children is part of that. But so is making this home a great place for my family. I would be proud to have that next to "Occupation."


  1. Excellent post! I totally agree. I've called myself a SAHM before, but we really are so much more aren't we? We actually make our house a home.

    Thanks for the encouragement! I needed that today!

  2. I am absolutely celebrating about your blog today! I'm thrilled to hear your heart because it's mine as well! After reading your entry on Jules' blog too, I thought you'd like to know about my book, "Secrets About Guys (that shouldn't be secret)," for girls - preteens, teens, college age (and their moms and grandmas :-) It's a call for females to embrace our femininity, return home, and restore honor to boys/men, (a gentle call for reconciliation between genders). Blessings to you, Grace Dove

  3. I think what makes mom content and fulfilled will fill her family, whether that is working outside the home, or, as you eloquently put it, making a home. I pray you will live your life of a homemaker to His glory. I also pray that we, as sisters, never judge one another for our choices, but heap grace and mercy upon each other.

    Great insight. Blessings.

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  5. I never thought about SAHM that way when I would tell people that is what I aspired to be. I like Homemaker much better! I look forward to the day when someone asks me where do I work, and I can say "I am a homemaker, I work at home." ...Going to go practice ;)

  6. I really loved this post. I know EXACTLY what you mean because I used to have summers off too. I literally 'stayed at home' and not much else. Great post!


I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)