Does anyone else do this? I know the Bible says not to worry, and I try really hard to not. But sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and absolutely every single thing I've been concerned about comes to the front of my brain and they all seem like completely insurmountable problems at 2:00am.
For example, last night I woke up and worried about money. We blew through some cash this weekend on various things (almost all of it necessary) and for some reason I started tallying up the amount we had spent and freaking out. FOR SURE we were out of money and would have NO MONEY to pay our bills in the morning. I very nearly got up to balance the checkbook just to assure myself but that seemed silly. I really did want to sleep.
This morning, of course, it wasn't nearly as bad as it had seemed in the night. The bills are paid.
I worried about other things in the night. The Tourette's around here is bad right now (the worst its ever been) and it is stressful. I thought about getting up to research more but again, I wanted sleep. Little Bit was sleeping on a mattress in our room last night and every time she moved she banged into our world's loudest drawer pulls. That wasn't really helping the sleep.
I can't even remember all the things I was keyed up about last night but none of it seemed important this morning at 7:00. Why? Why do I do this? I feel totally wide awake but I must not be in my right mind because otherwise things wouldn't seem like such big problems. I almost need someone to shake me and say, "What are you doing? Go to sleep!"
I bet I ground my teeth down several centimeters last night. Hate that.
All that wasted worrying when today I have actually accomplished a lot! I don't have to cook supper tonight as we are celebrating my husband's and dad's birthdays tonight. That gives me like, an extra hour and a half to my day!
So, does anyone else wake up freaking out sometimes? And yes, I prayed. A lot. And I did fall back asleep. Several times. Sigh. I decided after S left for work the best move I could possibly make was to go back to bed.
It's like that Robert Frost poem:
Two choices stood before me in the morning
And I---I chose the one less vertical.
And that has made all the difference.
HA! I love "that" poem!
ReplyDeleteI worry in the night all the time-- I am a no sleep worrier! I am worrying on it! stressed about money lately too of course! FUN! Dave doesnt really worry-- I take it ALL on my shoulders!
I woke up this morning to our fridge not working. Then got his paycheck which was for too much.. SCORE- until I called him to verify and inadvertantly let his company know there was a problem-- I personlly thing that since I FOUND the problem I should get to keep the extra cash! I don't think they see it that way!
just extra stress and extra opportunity to remind myself WHO is in control-- NOT ME!
Hey, I worry so much i can't get to sleep some nights:) Then end up having anxiety dreams on top of that. It's almost as if everything during the day that I didn't worry enough about accumulates, and waits til I am ready for sleep, and then BOOM! It all hits, and moves around in this frantic circle until it's put to rest. Which really means it gets prayed about or shoved further into the dark recesses of my mind... only to be drug back up the next night. There's got to be a better way :) The only remedy I've found any peace in is thanking God for as many things as I can think about :)
ReplyDeleteBeen there, done that.
ReplyDeletePraying for you, and Lil' Bit,too.
I could have written what jules1green did! And lately, because of the worry during the night, I get up in the morning with hives. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteI worry in the night all the time.I have got up and balanced the check book before.That led to me calling my aunt at 4 am crying because I thought I was over drawn when really I was not.My uncle drove two hours to loan me the money I didn't even need.I never did tell either of them I didn't over draw.I did promise myself to never ever do any math at 2 am again.
ReplyDeleteI'm ashamed to admit that I lie awake worrying in the middle of the night AND also vividly dream about my "worries." Sometimes it seems obsessive. Saturday night I tossed and turned, thinking about a weird news item I'd read that day about a stalker-murderer. When I did sleep, my dreams were filled various distortions of what I'd read. Sunday night was a repeat of Saturday, except that this time I worried about the bear our daughter-in-law had seen driving to our house that day (a very strange sight for the Colorado prairie). And strange dreams about this critter seemed to take over any actual sleep-time I had. Both nights I relied on scripture and prayer to help replace the icky pictures in my mind. Psalm 1 is a favorite, because it's short and contains its own vivid imagery. Helped tremendously during my awake spells, but still didn't banish the weird dreams :(. I know that worrying is not the Lord's will for His children so will continue to fill my mind with scripture and purposely keep away from the sick news items (Philippians 4:8). "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7 AND “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3.
ReplyDeleteMrs. L. in CO
I struggle with this too. It is a daily surrendering my fears to God. But it is HARD.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is lovely!
Be Blessed.
~Tiffany
That sounds like me. I am up right now at 2am. Worrying about everything! I am trying to calm my mind but it is hard. Wish I knew what to do.
ReplyDelete