Saturday, September 20, 2008

For All The "Part-Time Homemakers" Out There

I just wanted to throw a word of encouragement out to those moms who find themselves wanting to be home but who...aren't.

I was thinking about you the other day. I was remembering that place I was in where I longed to be home, but had to be at work instead. My heart had changed, but my situation had not.

I remember finding the section of the Ladies Against Feminism website where people told their coming home stories. Sometimes they encouraged me. Sometimes they made me want to spit nails. I knew I would never be the one telling my story.

No matter what, no matter how impossible I believed my situation to be--I just couldn't get it out of my head that God was bigger. That it was NOT impossible with Him.

I still believed. And yes, it took time. I remember thinking, "If I just knew that it would only be 2 more months or 1 more year or whatever...I could have hope knowing that I only had a little more time to work before I would be home and then I could relax."

But faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. And I'm not here to tell my story. I've told it on this blog several times.

What I wanted to say to you is: you are already a homemaker. I know people just love to divide everyone up into little categories, one of which is: working mothers or homemakers. But I don't think it's that easy. Whether you have the whole day at home or just a few hours--you are still a homemaker. You just have less time to do it!

And I don't believe you can do it all. I never could, anyway. I still can't! So I think you are going to have to do 2 things--no, make that 3.

1. Believe that you are already a homemaker. Live it. Be it! Get yourself a lovely apron to put on when you get home. Change clothes when you get home. Put that work I.D. away. You can't deny that you do work outside the home, but you can "transform yourself" when you get home. Your family doesn't need an extension of your secretary job or whatever (I was a secretary for a while). They need a wife, a mom, a homemaker. In that order. So shed that other job when you walk in the door, if possible. And spend those 3 or 4 hours you have doing what you have been wanting to do all day.

2. You can't do it all, so prioritize. There is no way you can work full-time, or really even part-time and still be an all-around homemaker, so you are going to have to decide on a few areas to focus on. I found out a few years ago that the thing that blessed my husband the most was having his clothes ready. Washed, ironed, put away and available for him to grab and go. When he had to search for socks or iron a shirt in the morning before work he hated it. However, when I was working--he didn't care if I cooked or not. In fact, many time he said, "Let's just go out to eat so the kitchen will stay clean!" So, for me... I needed to focus on laundry and ironing in my few short hours at home. Of course there is picking up and helping kids with homework and all that stuff too. Like I said, talk to your husband and decide what things you could feasibly do in the evenings and weekends. Then, get help for the rest. Even moms who stay home have their kids doing housework! It's O.K. for them to help. In fact, it's good for them! Everything else, hire it out if you can. That's totally up to you and your husband. I'm just saying: talk about it and decide.

3. Pray. Sounds obvious, huh? I do believe that the way God intended the family to work did not involve someone else caring for the kids all day while mom and dad go their separate ways. It's too divisive of a plan! But many of us find ourselves in exactly that situation. Pray. Pray for the future that you can be home and pray for now that God will help you in the situation you are in.

That's my word of encouragement for the day!


  1. Great post Brenda. I really hate how some seperate homemaker and working mom also. My mom HAD to work (dad had a gambling problem) but she had the gift of making me feel like she was there. I don't really know how else to explain that.

    I pray your post will be encouraging to those who are struggling with wanting to be home and can't yet.

    God Bless,

  2. What a graceful post, Brenda, and so encouraging.

  3. Thank you. I so needed to read/hear this one.


  4. This was just what I needed to read tonight. Thanks for the encouragement & thanks for asking about the boys. I posted an update on my blog.

  5. This is my first time visiting you blog, and I am so blessed to have found this post! I have been married just over a year and am not yet a mother, but I feel convicted in my heart that I should be a keeper at home. Right now I have to work, but I strive to keep my home nice for my husband when I am at home. Your encouraging words that I AM a homemaker (albeit part-time!)are a comfort. Thank you!

  6. Thanks so much for this. It was a wonderful encouraging post- just why I have you in my toolbar to read daily.

  7. Thanks for the encouragement, Brenda. I especially like the part where you said, "And spend those 3 or 4 hours you have doing what you have been wanting to do all day."
    God Bless,


I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)