Monday, March 26, 2007

Being a Girl

When we found out our second child was going to be a girl, my husband (who was very happy to have another daughter, by the way) said, "Well, that's that. No one to help me with the yard or the cars. Your life just got easier, though." I reminded him that every time I went to the restroom in public I would now have 2 little ducklings following after me.

All kidding aside, I have much more responsibility than that! I have to show these two how to be godly women. Right now they are only girls, but it is also my responsibility to show them how to be girls. What does that mean?

First of all, I've been convicted lately about the need to be both modest and feminine. I'm tired of our unisex society and equal expectations for men and women. Today I dressed my daughters in dresses for school/preschool. "Why am I wearing a dress today?" my 7 year old wanted to know. I told her, "Well, first of all: You are a girl." It's going to take some getting used to, but I will show them how to be girls in the way we dress. It will be different from the way boys dress.

Secondly, I will set up an expectation for them. I have already begun to do this when I give compliments. For example, when one of them helps me with a household task I say, "Thank you. You are a very good sweeper. You are going to take such good care of your house when you are a mommy." Or when they do something to help their dad, I let them know how lucky their husband is going to be to have such a good helper. I have told them in no uncertain terms that I am Daddy's helper.

The other thing I am going to do is teach them the skills they will need to be a wife and mother. When they leave our house, they will know how to cook, clean, sew, etc. I will not send them into marriage as unprepared as I was. Oh sure, they need to learn things from their dad, too. But they must have basic housekeeping skills--I don't want them to have to learn all this in their 30's!

It seems that most of what "being a girl" means is "learning to be a woman." So, I will find godly women to be an example to them. Like Debi Pearl (Created to Be His Help Meet author), I will point out the ladies that I want them to look up to. "Doesn't Mrs. Smith keep her house nice?" "Look how beautiful Miss Katie's dresses always are--she is such a good seamstress." However, as scary as it may seem, I am the most constant example they have. I think I need to go pray now...


  1. Good for you! I started to wear dresses/skirts exclusively about 2 years ago and love being treated like a lady! :)

    My 1 year old son loves to hide under Mama's skirt and he just laughs and giggles and hangs onto the hem when we walk anywhere. The other day I had on a pair of pants (a rare moment for me) and he kept trying to hide underneath the leg of the pant and was so upset because he couldn't! It actually brought tears to my eyes!

    Good for you for treating your girls how to be a lady -- and there is NOTHING wrong with acting like a girl! :)
    Good luck!

  2. That's one thing I'm not sure about--there are no other examples around that I can think of to show them! At our church we have gotten VERY casual. But, like I said they see me more than anyone so if I am a good example, then maybe it will work!

  3. Oh, this is humbling indeed. I love the expecation you are placing on your daughters, and how you are teaching them HOW to be a wife and momma. I learned once I got married, too, and really am learning much of this right now, 8 1/2 years later! And, like you, our church is very casual and I am my daughter's constant example, so I better step up, huh? I think I need to go pray, too.!

  4. AMEN!!!! I mean I feel like we live the same life, I too have two daughter's and we have to have these same conversations and I have the same fears and concerns/ You are such a blessing, what a wonderful find .... Thanks Terry !


I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)