Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Lack of Compliments

Yesterday I was out shopping with my older daughter, 11 year old Sweetheart. She cherishes some alone time and we were having a good time just going to pick up some new school books for her sister. Later that evening, we cooked supper together. We were a good team.

This morning I was smiling thinking of the time we spent together when I remembered a comment Sweetheart had made in the course of the afternoon.

"Mommy, I like it when your hair is just down. It looks cute."

Now you should know I nearly NEVER have my hair just down. I always have at least some of it in a clip or all of it in a french twist in a clip or all of it in a ponytail. It gets in the way. When she said it, I immediately took out my big clip and tossed my hair like on those shampoo commercials.

So this morning while I was brushing my hair I was trying to remember the last time the word "cute" had been used in description of me. I think it's safe to say it was many years ago. I used to get compliments all the time though. When you work outside the home, there is more opportunity for compliments.

Specifically when you have to be at work before 7:30 in the morning and you work with a bunch of women and they see you every day. People notice if you look better than average.

"That's a nice outfit you have on!"
"You look really skinny! Have you lost weight?"
"Don't you look nice today? What are you so dressed up for?"

Of course, there is always the unwanted comment. Like the time I tried a new eyeshadow and my neighbor teacher Mr. A said, "You look tired. Do you feel alright?"

My favorite was Mrs. L. Mrs. L was a riot and I have more stories to share about her later but one day another teacher told her that her face looked swollen. She quickly answered, "I think it must be my sinuses." Actually, she said, she guessed she had just gained weight as she felt just fine. At least before that comment she did.

After that, whenever we couldn't fit into our pants or what have you, we always said, "I couldn't even zip my pants this morning! It must be my sinuses!" Mrs. L got such a kick out of using that excuse.

The point is, when you stay home every day, there isn't as much opportunity for compliments. My girls see me first thing in the morning, mid-day, and just before bed. They are used to me. I wear pretty much the same stuff all the time. I am so unaware of how I look to others that I have caught myself gasping in horror as we are on our way somewhere and I look down at myself. But do I turn around and go home and change? No I do not. Maybe I need more compliments and I would raise the bar a bit?

That's why Connie's post I read this morning was PERFECT. I think I'll incorporate this into my daily routine. What do you think?


  1. I havent left the house since I got back from church on Sunday afternoon. I am wearing black athletic capris ( smile) and a shirt that the kids informed me yesterday evening after my shower was on inside out. I didnt change it. SAD I KNOW... I have to go take a shower for TODAY and actually get dressed to take Emily to gymnasitic, Matt to tap and kaitlin to volleyball... so seing other human beings than y family will make me PUT MY SHIRT ON THE RIGHT WAY! I might add some make up to make me feel a little bit better about myself today. :)

    but NO sparkly leotard for me.. TA DAH!

  2. Simply turned the phone off rather than getting the gun and shooting it. TA DAH!

    This goes so hand in hand with a post I have rolling around in my brain. Thank you for sharing!

  3. Carrie, your kids will thank you for that decision. The no sparkly leotard one. :) AND for turning your shirt right!

    I don't even need to juggle. I'll settle for "we had school, I got some things done and fed everyone." TAH DAH!

  4. today I fed my kids two meals, sausage cheese balls for breakfast and a wonderful brown sugar ham with mac and cheese and Peas for lunch... we did math, art, science, handwriting, Explode the code, worked on new poem. I blogged. I washed two loads of clothes. I bathed! I washed dishes and over saw chores... I went through about 200 negatives and seperated them... I ran my husband to work and back...I also watched one episode of law and order and read about 6 different posts on some blogs!!!

    TA DAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    wow its only 2:33!

    TA DAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. So nice for your daughter to compliment you. Shows that she was brought up in a good household!

  6. You know, it is for this very reason that I always go out of my way to compliment women I see at church or even just strangers I run across when I'm out and about. Who doesn't want to hear "oh, I love your haircut/purse/shoes!"?

  7. How about, I spent the entire day with six (all under the age of eight) squabbling kids and a dog and they are all still alive.
    TA DAH!!!!


I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)