The Lack of Compliments

Yesterday I was out shopping with my older daughter, 11 year old Sweetheart. She cherishes some alone time and we were having a good time just going to pick up some new school books for her sister. Later that evening, we cooked supper together. We were a good team.

This morning I was smiling thinking of the time we spent together when I remembered a comment Sweetheart had made in the course of the afternoon.

"Mommy, I like it when your hair is just down. It looks cute."

Now you should know I nearly NEVER have my hair just down. I always have at least some of it in a clip or all of it in a french twist in a clip or all of it in a ponytail. It gets in the way. When she said it, I immediately took out my big clip and tossed my hair like on those shampoo commercials.

So this morning while I was brushing my hair I was trying to remember the last time the word "cute" had been used in description of me. I think it's safe to say it was many years ago. I used to get compliments all the time though. When you work outside the home, there is more opportunity for compliments.

Specifically when you have to be at work before 7:30 in the morning and you work with a bunch of women and they see you every day. People notice if you look better than average.

"That's a nice outfit you have on!"
"You look really skinny! Have you lost weight?"
"Don't you look nice today? What are you so dressed up for?"

Of course, there is always the unwanted comment. Like the time I tried a new eyeshadow and my neighbor teacher Mr. A said, "You look tired. Do you feel alright?"

My favorite was Mrs. L. Mrs. L was a riot and I have more stories to share about her later but one day another teacher told her that her face looked swollen. She quickly answered, "I think it must be my sinuses." Actually, she said, she guessed she had just gained weight as she felt just fine. At least before that comment she did.

After that, whenever we couldn't fit into our pants or what have you, we always said, "I couldn't even zip my pants this morning! It must be my sinuses!" Mrs. L got such a kick out of using that excuse.

The point is, when you stay home every day, there isn't as much opportunity for compliments. My girls see me first thing in the morning, mid-day, and just before bed. They are used to me. I wear pretty much the same stuff all the time. I am so unaware of how I look to others that I have caught myself gasping in horror as we are on our way somewhere and I look down at myself. But do I turn around and go home and change? No I do not. Maybe I need more compliments and I would raise the bar a bit?

That's why Connie's post I read this morning was PERFECT. I think I'll incorporate this into my daily routine. What do you think?