Monday, May 17, 2010

The Eye-Opening Conference

So I told you that Saturday our youth minister had coordinated a seminar on sexuality in today's culture. Kind of a "here's what our kids are up against" report.

Wow. I am really out of it.

When we sat down, we had several packets to leaf through before things got started. One packet included the lyrics to a few currently popular songs. I was embarrassed just reading them. But I'm glad I did. It made me remember a friend in high school whose mom was upset he was listening to "Jump" by Van Halen. At the time, we all rolled our eyes and laughed and wondered what on earth was wrong with that song. He said she was afraid it was about suicide. We laughed some more.

I'm not laughing about the song lyrics I read on Saturday. They make Van Halen look like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. These links are NOT to the videos but rather to the lyrics if you should like to see what some kids today are listening to. (Caution: do not click these if your children are hanging over your shoulder!) "3" by Britney Spears, "Rude Boy" by Rihanna, "In My Head" by Jason Derulo, and "Bedrock" by Lil' Wayne were the songs given in the packet. I'm sure they are just a sampling.

So the first speaker went over the purpose of sexuality. His answers were: 1. Pleasure (Gen. 2:23, Song of Solomon), 2. Procreation (Gen. 1:28), and 3. An image of Christ and His church (Eph. 5:22-33). Then he started talking about sexuality in technology and media.

One thing I learned on Saturday was how p*rn*graphy has changed. He told the typical story of finding some one's Dad's magazines at a sleepover. Yep. That's true for me except it was some one's older brother's magazines. Well, it ain't like that anymore. P*rn falls into three categories today: er*tica (which would be the old-school magazines), hardc*ore, and sm*t (r*pe, death, besti*lity, and children). It's WAY more depraved and WAY more accessible. They gave a lot of statistics and basically nearly every school-aged child has encountered p*rn on the internet in one way or another.

He went on to discuss how music (see above), movies, the internet, and "s*xting" (sending stuff via texting) has affected our culture's and our children's view of sexuality. Everyone had stories of stuff sent to their teens on their cell phones, solicitations made while playing X-Box, and just the hundreds of ways our children are encountering an ungodly view of it all. Boy is it out there and it is rampant and it is depraved.

A middle school counselor was the next speaker and he talked about several things. One thing that really struck me was the report that a female coach (PE teacher) at his school doesn't let the girls shower after class because she's afraid of what would go on in the showers. Seems h*m*sexuality is very common and kind of popular among the girls.

And that is where I wrote on my notes NOTE: CONTINUE HOMESCHOOLING.

I'm not saying I can protect my children from everything because clearly, it's everywhere. But I can say I will not knowingly put them in a situation to be affected in that way. But our children, yes even our dear sweet innocent homeschooled kids, need to be prepared to deal with what is out there. I believe that begins by knowing exactly what God's Word has to say about it all as well as being told what to do when they encounter it in their real life....which they will.

Any thoughts?


  1. I graduated 5 years ago, and it horrifies me how much worse things have gotten in such a short period of time. I know the things that went on in my school (65 pregnant girls in one year), and I'm afraid to see where things will be by the time my daughter is ready to start school.

  2. Girls can't shower after P.E. . . . wow.

    No, we can't protect them from everything. But we can prepare them. And our children aren't prepared yet!

  3. I have many thoughts, as I'm sure you would've guessed, but they are too numerous to post here.

    Just know that as the mother of public school high school students, I applaud your diligence to guard the hearts of your kids.

  4. OH MY GOSH! I'm here changing some things on my blog and was looking at the gadgets - one is a VIRTUAL STR*PPER! You've GOT to be kidding me! (And no, I'm not putter her in my sidebar.)

  5. I led a small of group of high school girls at my church for four years and I was amazed, but not surprised at what they were exposed to daily. I was very thankful for our high school minister and how he approached the subject. I know he taught the kids a lot. He, even, taught me a lot. Thanks for sharing

  6. First of all, I now have Rude Boy in my head. Thanks. I WISH I was kidding. (I actually listened to the whole song one day when I was in the van alone and I almost fell out)

    Second of all, I keep thinking surely life in public school is like it was back when I was there. Surely, I'm not that old. And I considered it bad enough back then to keep my kids home now. I cannot imagine.

    I wholeheartedly agree with your note!

  7. And just think, things will only get worse. We think this is bad, but it's not, I firmly believe this is just the tip of the iceberg.

  8. Suzanne, I'm sorry. I don't know the tunes to these (thankfully).

    And I think in some other countries Christians would not consider sending their children to public school. I could be wrong. JulieMom, want to chime in?

    American parents are totally duped into thinking school is pretty much like it was when they were there. BECAUSE there are so many things that have become cultural icons: spelling tests on Fridays, prom, football games, homecoming king/queen, tests, homework...etc. There is enough to make it seem the same.

    But clearly, it's not.

  9. Number one... Love me some Van Halen! it has to be said. and yes sooooooooooo tame to what it is now!

    It is beyond ridiculous! I cannot believe the things that are on the radio that parents let their kids listen too and the parents SING A LONG TOO! Emily was singing the ra ra Lady Gaga song the other day... just that catchy part of the tune, I asked her where she heard it from and she said Target! I simply told her it was not an acceptable song! But even for younger girls with their Miley Cyrus

    seriously! This is no hanna montano which my girls never watched or listend too either.. cuz I knew then how it would go. So SAD. Do you know that her dad defended her giving the 47 year old producer a lapdance that it didnt matter because he is gay???? SERIOUSLY!

    We have to, have to, have to be vigilant! WE must train and be on our toes and put on all the armor of God we can on us and our children!

    Such a sad sad time and yes it will only get worse.

    I know I have and do let the kids watch stuff that I probably shouldnt and I am sure they hear songs they shouldnt but not a constant barrage! It is so very constant from EVERY venue of these kids life. they hear it on radio, they see it in videos adn movies, the dance it in their dance class and cheer leading routine. It is CONSTANT and parents do NOTHING!

    My thoughts are training them and being vigilant and being thorough in our knowledge of what we are fighting!

  10. where are THESE lyrics:

    Jon Bon Jovi- Livin on a prayer

    Once upon a time not so long ago:
    Tommy used to work on the docks
    union's been on strike

    He's down on his luck - It's tough
    so tough.
    Gina works the diner all day
    working for her man

    She brings home her pay for love
    for love.

    She says: We've got to hold on to what we've got
    'Cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
    We've got each other and that's a lot for love -
    We'll give it a shot.

    We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer

    Take my hand and we'll make it
    I swear - livin' on a prayer.

    Tommy got his six string in hock.
    Now he's holding in what he used to make it talk -
    So tough
    it's tough.
    Gina dreams of running away
    when she cries in the night
    Tommy whispers: Baby
    it's okay

    We've got to hold on to what we've got . . .
    We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
    . . .

    We've got to hold on ready or not

    You live for the fight when it's all that you've got.

    We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
    . . .
    We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
    . . .
    We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer

  11. Commenting late, but wow. This is a lot different than my mom not letting me watch MTV when I was a kid....

    And, like Q, I'm really surprised about the showers thing at P.E. too.

  12. Carrie, did you sit and watch the whole Van Halen video? You know you did.

  13. I've been a fan of "pop" music for most of my life. Bon Jovi was my first concert Carrie! LOL Love that song! But, I've recently stopped listening to most of the "pop" radio stations and tuning into country. I'm starting to like some of it but the best thing is that #1 I can actually understand the lyrics and #2 it's not all about sex, drugs, or some stupid "club". I remember when some of our church members gave my youth group a "talking to" when we were in HS b/c of our music. Wow, I officially feel old!

  14. My six year old was standing on the front steps singing (at the top of his lungs) "Do the Helen Kellar", complete with dance moves, last summer. I had never heard the song but stopped dead in my tracks and backed up when I heard the lyrics coming out of his little freckled face. He learned them from the neighbor, who had no idea what he was singing either. So I had to go talk to the neighbor's mother....This is the THIRD time something like this has happened - same neighbor.

    What can you do? I homeschool and all that but the kids still hear this trash. We explain as much as we can why these songs are not appropriate but they are still getting in the little brains and I don't like that.

    Anyone want to start a commune? ;)

  15. I have never even heard of these songs and neither has my 14 year old son.I thought Bedrock was where the Flinstones lived.SERIOUSLY!Maybe I am living in a commune.


  16. I'm jumping in SO late here, but I did read this when it was posted- we just had to run out the door! Here in SA, I would NEVER consider putting my kids in public school. The teacher/student ratio is horrible anyway (1:33) but the things they are exposed to are horrific.

    Especially in the Deaf schools that are hostel (residence) schools. The students are not supervised, and many have sexual experiences when they're very young. It's so sad.

    Christian parents definitely lean toward private school. Although it is CRAZY expensive. It's the best alternative as long as it doesn't bankrupt you!

    Homeschooling is an option here, but it's not very popular. I don't know many people who do it. I think ACE has a warehouse here or something. Not sure what most people use.

    Hot topic!!

  17. I am linking to this post. Thanks so much.

  18. I have 6 children who are all grown and married and we have been blessed with 31 grandchildren. Three of our daughters have home schooled or still are homeschooling their children. One family sent their two daughters to a private Christian school and the rest sent their children to public schools. Several of the home schooled grandchildren are now grown and in their late teens or 20's.

    The homeschooling families also have embraced courtship and are avoiding the dating scene. I have been so touched to see what godly and pure young people have emerged from being home schooled through high school.

    The problem with having children in even a Christian school today is not the teachers but the influence of the other children. Today's society is so incredibly depraved that it is a constant danger to our young people. The youth pastors at our church advise parents not to allow either a TV or Computer in their young people's rooms but also to collect all cell phones before everyone goes to bed and to keep the chargers in the parents' room. The kids get the cell phones back when they leave for school in the morning.

    I, myself, have talked to kids at church who admit that they take their cell phones with them when they supposedly go to their rooms to sleep and instead talk and text with their friends until 2:00 AM or so. Many young people are using some type of technology from the time they arise until they finally drop off to sleep. What is continually living in a cyber word doing to the minds and hearts of our teens, and what part of normal living are they missing out on ?

    Only constant vigilance, education and prayer can protect our young people from what's out there today.



I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)