Welcome to the 2nd Keepin' It Real Extravaganza here at The Family Revised! Hopefully a lot of us have stupid new mom moments to share with each other. Remember, the point of these extravaganzas is to dispel the myth that we are all perfect, no matter what image we may accidentally project on our blogs. Usually only the best stuff makes it on here....today the other stuff will rear it's ugly head!
We started off in the hospital with our first stupid new parents move--just after Sweetheart was born. I'm giving S credit along with me for this one. Two heads are not always better than one--especially when the 2 heads are new parents who have lost sleep. So Sweetheart needed her diaper changed. S rose to the occasion and decided to take care of everything for me. The hospital did not provide baby wipes, but only small squares of gauze that you were supposed to get wet. So horrible! She was dressed in a white, long-sleeved shirt from the hospital and a pair of hospital white pants as well. During the changing of the terrible newborn dirty diaper, he accidentally got poop on the pants. There were extra shirts under her bassinet, but no pants. So, I called the nurses' station.
Nurse: May I help you?
Me: Yes, we got our baby's pants dirty and we don't have another pair.
Nurse: (pause) Pants?
Me: Yes. My husband accidentally got the pair of pants she was wearing dirty. May we have another pair?
Nurse: Um, we don't dress the babies in pants.
Me: Well, she was wearing pants when ya'll brought her to us!
Nurse: Oh. Um. Ma'am? That was just a shirt turned upside down.
After I relayed that information to S, he said, "Oh, so that's why there's this big hole in the crotch!"
Yes. We were some smooth operating parents. Totally ready to take a baby home and be solely responsible for her. (And on a side note, the nurse had to teach me to read a thermometer before we could be released. Yes, I was really prepared, wasn't I?)
My next stupid new mom moment happened a few weeks later. I was determined not to be one of these moms that hauls around a diaper bag the size of a Metro Geo. I decided before she was even born that people just carried far too much stuff around for their children. Give me a break! I got two diaper bags at the baby shower. One was a Metro Geo bag that I decided was SURELY for when you were taking a month long vacation with baby, and the other was cute and denim and no larger than a pretty good sized purse. The first Sunday we made our big debut at church as a family of three, I naturally opted for the cute denim one. I mean, church is only an hour and a half, right? I threw in 2 or 3 diapers, some wipes, a pacifier, a burp rag, and at the last minute it seemed prudent to add an extra outfit. Not thinking I would need it, I selected a plain, white onesie.
Well, you can see where this is going, right? We set Sweetheart down in her carrier car seat and stood for singing time. She looked SO adorable in a ruffly green dotted swiss dress, matching bloomers, ruffly socks, and a pair of soft satin shoes. We were late so no one had seen her yet. On the second song she turned into the exorcist of sorts and threw up what looked like a gallon of liquid onto her dress. NEVER in the history of all time have 2 parents have been so unprepared. S and I spent the next 30 minutes in the church nursery stripping and bathing our daughter with wipes (whoops! those are all gone) and then scratchy water-resistant paper towels. We air dried her and dressed her carefully in the white onesie. So that was her lovely introduction to our friends and family at church: barefoot and wearing a white onesie with not one whit of decoration on it.
I believe it was at that point I began packing up the entire nursery in the "Geo" bag for every single outing away from our home. Live and learn!
OK--your turn! Post your stupid new mom moment on your blog and then come back here and sign up on the Mr. Linky. Remember to link to your KIR post--not just your blog in general--so people won't have to search your archives to find the right post. If you aren't sure how to do that, just e-mail me! Also, if you don't have a blog, feel free to leave your moment in the comments section!
I can't wait to read everyone else's stupidity! :)