Keepin' It Real: The Bottom Line

When I got married I weighed 128 pounds. The week after my wedding, I went back to my normal weight of 132. Either way...it was a splendid weight. I was 22 years old. I was 5 foot 7 inches and I wore a size 8 or 10. I really can't remember. All I know is, I was skinny.


Six years later I was no longer 132 pounds, but I bet I wasn't much over 145 when I got pregnant with Sweetheart. While pregnant, I ate like there was no tomorrow. I was ravenously hungry and I listened to my body. I topped out somewhere in the 190's. Sadly, as Barbara Bush once said, the baby did not weigh 50 or 60 pounds. I seem to remember I lost some of it. Some being the operative word.


Three and half years later I got pregnant with Little Bit. I didn't have as much time to eat and Sweetheart kept asking for bologna to eat which kept me in a constant state of nauseousness. However, I still managed to gain quite a bit of weight. Just as with my other pregnancy, I got asked several times if I was having twins. It would have been a great excuse, I'll give you that. When Little Bit was born, she was so fat and I said out loud to no one in particular, "HOW can you just be born and already have that many rolls?" My dad answered, "I believe it was all the Casa Ole' someone ate before she was born."


It was supposed to be a rhetorical question, Dad.


But I really lost weight after Little Bit was born. I was back in a size 12. It was awesome. I don't remember feeling very skinny because even though I was back in a number that I liked....things had, um, shifted a bit. No one really warned me about that.


When I quit work 6 months later I lived in blue jean shorts or blue jeans or wind pants for the next year of my life. The next time I picked up a pair of work pants I was surprised to find that they didn't zip. It seems that wind pants and jeans don't give you a very fair estimate of your weight gain. What a shock.


My bottom had decided to expand. The hips, stomach, and thighs must have thought that looked like fun and they decided to join in. I was unaware of this meeting.


My next job landed my bottom in a big cushy office chair just steps away from a snack machine. This arrangement was working really well for my newly expanded body parts. I slowly realized that I was skinnier after I had my second daughter than I was now. Very disturbing.


And that brings us to my current number of 16. It's not a number I like very much. And that brings us to our current new purchase.















This was my husband's idea, by the way. Now we all have bikes and can ride together as a family. And towing a 34 pound preschooler around on a bike when you haven't ridden a bike in upwards of 10 years has GOT to have an effect on all those body parts I was talking about, right?

I guess I'm joining you, GB...even if the numbers I'm after are not so scientific (OK, they're located on the tag of my clothes.) It's going to be a summer of fun, isn't it?