Monday, July 16, 2007

Who Has Time For The Husband?

I understand the beautiful order of the family which God has established. I understand all the reasons behind this order. I agree with it wholeheartedly. However, these days it's hard to keep things in order. In my heart I may have things prioritized correctly, but I also have to show that with my actions.

It's not a very popular view. I would dare to say that there are tons of people who are Bible believin', church-going Christians who don't know or understand how God set this all up. I thank the Lord for showing it to me a few years ago. It was one of the first major revisions to our family that He made.

With all the chaos of this weekend with Little Bit's broken elbow, etc., my husband fell very short of the place he deserves. I suppose it's understandable that things like this come up, but it's time to get things back to the way they need to be. Now that our daughter has a cast on her arm, she's going to sleep in her own bed and S. can get off the couch! Also, she will need less and less attention as her arm heals and more of my attention can go to what it needs to.

We have had some very restless nights. When my husband left for work this morning he looked so tired and stressed out. It made me feel really bad for him. I was trying to think of what I could do to make things easier for him. Here are some things I thought of...

1. Having him come home to a clean house! It doesn't have to pass the white-glove inspection, but being able to walk into a room that is free of clutter and looks nice will be so relaxing. I know I would love to walk in the door after a hard day of work and see a straight house. After all, home shouldn't cause more stress---it should help the stress of the outside world melt away. I want our home to be a haven for him.

2. Having his clothes clean, ironed, and ready to wear. It's always those mornings that you are running late that you can't find a matching outfit, complete with clean, matching socks to wear. Placing a priority on my husband's laundry over mine and the girls' is important. After all, where do we have to go? Plus, looking sharp at a new job is always a plus!

3. Having meals and snacks ready and available. Even if I have already been to the store that week, I know there are certain things my husband likes to have on hand. I need to be mindful of the things he likes to snack on, drink, etc. and make sure we are stocked up. He is too tired when he gets home to be running to the store.

4. Making sure I have enough time and energy for him. If you listen to the world, you would be engaged in meaningful activities with your children right up until bedtime and then it would be time for "me time." This is not the way it should be. There is nothing wrong with planning for the children to spend a little time playing in another room in the evenings. Also, if they go to bed on time you should have plenty of time left over before your own bedtime. They are, after all, children. And they are not on the top of the list.

5. The last one has more to do with God being first in your priorities. Be sure to spend time in prayer and Bible study. And remember, you don't have to have a scheduled hour and 1/2 of "personal Bible study." God hears your dish washing prayers just as well. Ironing? Pray for the person whose clothes you are ironing. Keep your Bible out so that when you sit down for a break you can just pick it up and read for a few minutes. Keeping your thoughts on God and His word will help you in your role as wife and mother.

Well, these are just a few of the ways which we can help our husbands. Don't worry about whether or not your husband "deserves" this kind of treatment either. He does, simply because he is your husband.

There are some great things being written about how we treat our husbands lately. Go here to read a wealth of information on honoring your husband.


  1. Great thoughts, Brenda. I completely agree.

    I really work on 1--a clean house. I know my guy appreciates it, but it doesn't always happen.

    He's been rummaging in the cabinets for "snacks" at night, so today I bought him something at the store.

  2. I love the list you wrote up. Wouldn't you know it, my toughest one to consistantly do is number one! I pray God gives me grace in that area with more energy to tidy up more around the house when we both get home from work.


I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)