Friday, April 11, 2008

Shaping Me Part 2

Read Part 1 here.

At the end of my year at home it was obvious I would need to go back to work at least part-time. Neither one of us really wanted to see our lifestyle go back to the way it was with me working full-time and the kids in child care. So, I found a job as a teacher's aide at Sweetheart's old preschool. I loved that place when she had gone there 2 days a week and working there was great too. Little Bit was almost 2 years old and went to the toddler's class down the hall while I worked. I was still able to drop Sweetheart off at 1st grade in the mornings and pick her up in the afternoons. There was time to run errands and cook supper. Things were pretty good. Except the small detail about how we couldn't afford it. It seems being a preschool aide, while enjoyable, does not pay well. At all.

I prayed and prayed. Oh how I prayed. I'll tell you, I was one thick-headed woman. It took over a year of near-panic-worrying about money before I finally learned (in my heart AND head) that God provides. Here was a great example. I will tell of His excellent ways, my friends.

So, I knew God would provide. I kept remembering what a friend had told me, "Brenda, of COURSE God wants you home with your daughters!" I believed that to be true, but we had built ourselves a little life that didn't include me staying home. We had not been very purposeful about making that happen. What? Was I to believe that God would just sweep away all of our years of mistakes in one move and "fix" everything? Is that God's job? But I couldn't help it...I believed He could fix it. I prayed for His will to be done. And I meant it. Since I had no more ideas of how things could possibly work themselves out--I HAD to depend on God. I had nothing left but to pray, "Your Will be done."

I'm sure He was waiting on that.

I had only spent the last year working, striving, and trying everything in my power to make things work. I had run out of options. I had to turn to Him. So I left work at the preschool one day and needed to drop off some receipts with the church secretary for my husband. I prayed all the way there and I believe I was praying as I walked through the parking lot. I thought this was just another mindless errand. After dropping off the receipts I casually threw out a "You don't know of any good jobs, do you?" to the secretary. She answered, "As a matter of fact, you can have this one. I'm looking for a replacement."

You could have knocked me over with a feather! It worked out. It was more money than the preschool job. It was 4 hours a day (less than the preschool job) and the childcare right there in the building was FAR cheaper. Plus, Sweetheart could go to the private school there instead of being in another city 15-20 minutes away from me. God is good.

I like to think of that job, which lasted for 18 months, as the "bridge" year. Or year and half, as the case may be. God was getting us ready for even more revisions. And He was taking care of our little family in the meantime.

Next week: Part 3

I blogged about this story last year when my blog first began. Here's a post I liked about God providing. I liked it, but at that time I only had one reader. And he was sitting on the couch right by me. :)


  1. Boy, you're up early! I am enjoying reading your journey and looking forward to part 3.

    It is hard to let go of the reigns and trust sometimes, isn't it? particularly when we've grown accustomed to solving our own problems. It is wonderful to hear how the Lord is increasing your faith.

  2. Next week? :) I can wait.. :)

    I am enjoying reading about your journey to whom you have become now. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Brenda, your honesty is shaming me. I love that about you.

    I'll catch up with ya next week. Enjoy your weekend!

  4. You hit the nail on the head--He's just waiting for us to give up our striving and look to him for everything. He is always good!

  5. Isn't it in the Mitford series that Father Tim and Cynthia refer to "Your Will be done," as the prayer that never fails? I do believe the angels rejoice when believers come to the end of themselves.

    Great story. Looking forward to part 3.

  6. Thanks for sharing. Your story is encouraging me to listen to God and take a few leaps of faith of my own.

    Can't wait for part 3.



I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)