I really don't want to write this post. Let me just say that right up front. But I was realizing how far away I now am from this and thought it might help someone if I share.
I used to keep a running list in my head. My list had two columns. The first column was entitled: Things I Do Around Here. The second column was called: Things He Does Around Here. Needless to say, my column was always pages and pages longer than my husband's. I mentally went over that list in my head whenever I was doing stuff around the house--all the while telling myself how unfair it was that I worked all day (outside of the home) just like he did, and yet here I was doing ALL this stuff. I'll tell you, keeping that list going kept me in a near-constant state of being ticked off at my husband.
What a way to live.
I don't really know when I stopped doing that. I suspect it had something to do with reading Debi Pearl's book. I was convicted and my eyes were opened. I finally knew what being a godly wife meant. Things changed.
Scripture says, "Love...keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Corinthians 13:4-5) Wives, our submission and respect and love to our husbands is NOT dependent upon their deserving it. I am positive that S was not being as bad of a husband as I had convinced myself he was. But it wouldn't matter anyway. The Bible does not give us an "out" on our part of the deal just because our husband isn't living up to our expectations.
My mind truly has been renewed and transformed. I happily do (most) tasks around the house now--it isn't even a struggle. I'm not tempted to compare "who is doing more" at all. I see opportunities to serve and help instead of a bunch of things I HAVE to do because no one else will do them. I am so thankful to not be living like that anymore. There is joy and peace in doing things God's way. Turns out...God's way works A LOT better than the world's way.
Can I get an Amen?