Something to Guard Against

I read an article on yahoo yesterday that I could not get off of my mind all evening. You may have seen it. It was about some parents who are not revealing the sex of their 4 month old baby. They are attempting to raise the child in a gender neutral (GN) fashion.

I don't know why that article stayed on my mind so much. Are they radical? Yes. Many people would not go so far as to do what they are doing--or to allow their sons (they have 2 other children) to shop from either the boys or girls section in clothing stores and decide if they want their hair long or short. But that doesn't mean that many people do not agree with these parents at some level.

So I kept reading and googling. Apparently, some folks think a GN world would be just about perfect. They can't wait for the day when society stops placing biases and limits on people and when others stop drawing a line and saying "choose." I don't think they just want a "third category".....I think they'd like there to BE no categories.

Anyway, as a Christian this topic gets my attention and it should yours too if you are a Christian. I'll tell you why in a minute.

As I googled and read, I began to see some major categories popping up where GN is becoming main stream. In case you haven't thought much about this, perhaps these links will be eye opening.

Fashion. I already have thought about this several years ago. Children go to school wearing standardized dress of khaki or blue bottoms and a polo style shirt on top all their lives. Then, they get a job at Target, or the bank, or wherever and guess what? They wear khaki pants and a polo style shirt! There is precious little difference in how the men and women look at many places of business. The styles of military uniforms have also changed. I spoke about all this here.

But it seems to be going a step further now. Fashion designers are actually designing clothing that is intentionally GN. This means it is designed to be for EITHER sex to wear. Especially where children are concerned as there isn't as much difference in their bodies.  Check out the store sign on this article. Here is a slide show that was interesting.  If you need help figuring it all out, there is help available.

Dorm rooms. I don't remember which college started it, but it has caught on. Now it is PC to offer GN living arrangements. Many colleges are offering this type of dorm. And if you are going to offer living arrangements that are GN, then of course restrooms will follow suit. High schools are already dealing with this. As well as prom situations, homecoming situations, etc. All this is being done in the name of anti-bullying. These students must have a "safe" place. So, we must offer these arrangements. Oh, and they cannot be discriminated against.

Can you follow this path further down the road in your mind? Where does this lead? What will your local elementary school look like in a few years? What will be taught? It's already being taught in many places.

Which reminds me: children's books. Be careful at the library because there are a lot of children's books being written to address these issues. They are also being read to classes in many elementary schools.

Another major category is GN language. You know, we must say actor instead of actor/actress, etc. This, of course, moves us into GN Bible translations. Oh, don't even get me started. Read. Be aware. Be informed. The version you love may have been edited recently. Research before you buy because this one is serious. Altering the Word of God to be more "inclusive" and PC??? Not good.

So it seems this is the way our world is going. I cannot even imagine how things will be in 20 or 30 years. Obviously, we must teach about this to our children. God's word says:

 "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27

God created two sexes. Distinct and different from one another. Plain and simple. And because my Lord did this, and said that it was good, I will continue to believe that there should be a distinction. Especially among Christians because if the world is going GN, then we should stand apart from that. What does this mean? It means my girls and I will be wearing a lot more skirts and even when we wear other things, we will make sure to look as feminine as we can. As much NOT GN as possible. It means men should look like men. I know this varies from culture to culture, but there should be a distinction--both in our dress and our behavior!

And I will pray. I do not hate people who are confused about their gender, but I do hate that it is common in our world. Children are hurting, they are committing suicide. They are miserable. They have been lied to and the Liar is deceptively confusing many people. God is not a God of confusion. These people need to know the Lord and Savior. They need prayer.

So as a Christian, I will guard against the rising tide of GN in our world, I will teach my children the truth, and I will continue to speak the truth. God did not mess up. He did not make a mistake.

What do you say about all of it? What should our reaction as Christians be?

The Princess Party

We've been involved in a "Carrie Co-op" lately. She's good at coming up with these. She invited some other girls around her daughter's age to participate. It was fun. Today was our last class.

Each week we watched the DVD, which is where the main lesson is found, and where the girls learned parts of a song each week including the sign language to go along with it. Then we went back to the table and did some activities and crafts and had a snack. But THIS week....was the grand finale.

Oh, HOW many times did Little Bit ask to go to the final princess class? I lost count. She could not wait!

 Before we left....had to show this picture. I made this dress a few years ago from a tutorial and it finally fits her right!

 I know you can't tell in these pics, but the dress is made from a man's dress shirt. Also, LOOK how long her hair is!!!! It only took 7 years to get here people.

 We worked on their foam castle kits at the beginning of class. Carrie is weilding the hot glue gun--watch out!

 Sweetheart joined the class one week when we had a few girls out, so she made a castle as well.

 During the video--the girls are praying. So sweet.

 Then we played a quick game together from the activity book, then sent them upstairs to change.

 And then each girl came down the stairs and were presented with a flower and a tiara.

 Do you love their dresses? We got them at thrift stores. :)

 The princess banquet!

 Four lovely little girls who now know that being a true forever princess doesn't mean wearing fancy clothes or living in a castle. Fancy clothes and tiaras are fun, but a true princess (daughter of THE King) shows God's love to others.

Meanwhile, Sweetheart and Kate (can you see her back there in the flowerbed?) dug up lizards and snails. So, let's just say they were enjoying the King's creation shall we?

Thank you Carrie, for organizing such a fun class!

So I Found an Outfit....Almost

The annual "find something suitable to wear to the Christmas party where I'll be around someone other than my family" is in full swing. Once a year I have to go out amongst my husband's co-workers and try to look to all the world like a sophisticated adult.

So I found this yesterday:

Dress Barn

  I just love it. It will go well with a black skirt I already have, and a red shirt I have underneath. It will also go well later with a denim skirt or even pants. LOVE.

So, to top off the outfit, I need shoes. I usually wear some black flats and I'm getting tired of them and I feel I need something dressier for this event. So, I found these:

Target

But they did not have my size. I was very sad. You must understand, I really don't care about shoes. I know some women really, really love shoes, but I have never been one of them. Shoes? I'm all eh.

For some reason I fell in LOVE with these shoes and am totally convinced that they will make the outfit! I must have them! So last night I went to a different Target. No luck.
 
Via the wonderment of Facebook, I currently have two friends checking their Targets to see if they can find them AND get them to me by tomorrow night!!! We shall see if either of them have success...

Have I mentioned my friends rock? And Facebook is a big help in wardrobe crises?

Now, if I can figure out what to do with my hair, and practice having a real grown up conversation, I'll be fine.

Looking to the Past

Today in History, we learned about Ferdinand and Isabella. This is Little Bit's first year to fully participate in our history lessons and she is LOVING making her timeline pieces each day.

Some of our timeline pieces from the first year...

While she was coloring Ferdinand and Isabella I reminded her to make a dress on Isabella.

LB: Why?

Me: Because she would have worn a dress.

Sweetheart: How do you know?

Me: Because women always wore dresses until about the 1960s when Aunt T was born (just to give them reference).

Sweetheart: Why did they start wearing pants....to be like men?

Me: Well, yes.

Sweetheart: That's silly.

I quite agree!

I tell you, S and I have been talking about the girls' fall/winter wardrobe. Sweetheart is going to practically need a new wardrobe and I was so impressed with all the goodness Giovanna found at the thrift store for her daughter. I really have to start visiting the thrift stores more often. My friends who do tell me you have to go often and you will score big. S really wants to limit the jeans and denim that we purchase for all of us (me and the girls). He much prefers khakis or nice pants and of course, more skirts. In the winter, jeans and a long-sleeved shirt every day can get really old. And not lovely either.

In addition to that, I am really inspired by the New Dress a Day blog. Did you see this on Yahoo? I am so totally impressed! Sometimes I look at her "before" picture and think there is NO WAY she will be able to make anything fashionable out of it and she always succeeds. Our modesty standards are not quite the same, but then neither are our sewing skills!

Still, she got me to thinking about how perhaps I could cut off fabric from women's dresses that were hopeless otherwise and make easy skirts for the girls. Hmmm....

I plan to start in September working on their new wardrobes--and hopefully mine! Anyone else got some inspiration for me?

Casually Feminine: The End

I'll start right off by telling you that I've written a lot about women's fashion on this blog. I've researched and read and thought and studied and prayed. And where I sometimes wish we would go back to being a country where women wear modest skirts and dresses....I dont' see that happening in the near future. Or the far future for that matter. I pretty much think that ship has sailed. Understanding how we got where we are was very eye-opening though, and I'm glad I studied it.

So even though we live in a society where women wear the pants just as much as men (but still do have the option of wearing dresses and skirts), that is no reason, in my opinion, to dress like a man. There must be something distinctly feminine in our culture about the pants we wear (if we choose to wear them).

Enter: the capri pant. My favorite. Distinctly feminine. Men do not wear capri pants. A cute top, cute sandals...and you have, in my opinion, a feminine look.

I'm a really big fan of the pants that either roll up or down. Perfect year round here in Texas.

And while these aren't exactly my style, I think print is a way to keep a distinctly feminine look.

I just flat out love capri pants.

BUT, there is one downside. There are times (zoo, parks, lots of walking) when you will need to wear tennis shoes with your capri pants and THAT is not the best look in the whole world. Although I have done it. (shame) Enter: the athletic capri pant.

I have some of these in navy blue with "athletic looking" white stripes down the side. Very deceiving. But they look pretty good with tennis shoes and that's what matters. And they are much better than sweats, in my opinion. And may I just say that my husband also likes capri pants on me, but much prefers khakis to denim. So, OK. I found some really cute ones at Target but I don't see them on the website now.

When I'm not wearing capri pants, I prefer two things. One, I have a great denim skirt that was a hand-me-down. I have no picture but it's knee length and wonderful. Then I prefer really long flow-y skirts. I love to buy them from the beach. They have good ones down there.

Here is my final thought. Casually femininity CAN be done. And it cannot be divorced from modesty. There are things, I have learned through this series, that should NOT be casual about us. Our clothing can be....but should still be feminine. Not just sloppy. Our speech and actions should NOT be casual. I will remember this series for a long time every time I buy clothes or get dressed. Thank you to all who participated!

Casually Feminine--The Feminine Face

When I was about 10 years old, my oldest sister rolled her eyes at my dad. I well remember this scene as I was sitting on the couch folding clothes. Oh boy was he mad! She got grounded, which very rarely happened at our house, and I made a mental note. Self: do not roll your eyes at dad. Ever.

But the thing is, I did roll my eyes. I was just smart enough to not do it to his face. I waited until my back was turned. Or his was.

That's not really better by the way. The heart attitude behind the eye rolling was the problem, not the facial expression itself. So even though I may not be an adult who makes ugly faces at people, my heart attitude sometimes DOES roll my eyes at them. And maybe even sticks out its tongue sometimes, so to speak. That is not OK.

Sometimes it just takes acting to have the proper facial expression. Like when a child in your class is hurling all over the floor. What is required in that moment is compassion and action.....not a gagging face and wigging out. It's just not proper for a teacher to have a "gross me out!" look on their face when a child is sick. Inside you may be grossing out, but outwardly you don't want to show that.

OK that's kind of a funny example, but I do think it's important to not show exactly how we are feeling through our facial expression at all times. I don't always wake up feeling joyful, but I can still smile at my family. Sometimes there is a heart attitude that needs to be dealt with, but other times, it just takes choosing the right action in spite of our feelings.

That is true for anyone. But ladies have some other things to consider. David says something similar to the following many times in the Psalms:

Answer me speedily, O LORD;
My spirit fails!
Do not hide Your face from me,
Lest I be like those who go down into the pit.
Psalm 143:7

Do not hide Your face from me. We would not want the Lord to look away from us. Ladies, do you look away from your husband when you are upset with him? Do you avoid eye contact?

Do you remember that scene in Monsters Inc. where Boo sees Sulley scaring?



Just watch from 5:45 to 6:32 in case you don't have the movie memorized like me.

I have seen mothers out in public with their children before and the entire time the mother is griping and fussing and frowning at those children. Look, I know everyone can have a bad day, and I really try to give folks the benefit of the doubt, but honestly? I can watch you for 10 minutes or 30 minutes and not once do you have a smile or kind word for your child?

I suspect if many of us saw ourselves on TV like Sulley saw himself (the way Boo--or our children see it), we would be ashamed. It's easy for me to see these other mother's faults because I am watching them from afar. If you were following me around with a camera, some days I wouldn't look so great myself.

Wonder how our face looks when we are having a conversation with our husband? A few weeks ago at the grocery store I told the girls, "Aww. Look at that sweet little old couple up there." I just love old folks. The wife was sitting in an automatic cart and the husband was shuffling along beside her. They were by the yogurt, shopping together.

Then we got closer.

"I want the low fat kind." said the wife.
"The what?" said her husband.
"The LOW FAT YOGURT." she said, a bit too sharply.
"I can't understand you." he said, exasperated.
She looked at him like he was the biggest idiot on the earth and shook her head. "NEVER MIND!"
He shook his head back at her.

Never mind girls. DON'T look at the sweet little old couple! Come on, we don't need yogurt!

Gee whiz. It was not lovely. Last week we talked about what words come out of our mouth, but if it isn't matched with a loving facial expression, we might as well not be saying anything.

And you know moms can shoot looks that can kill. It cracks me up when I see a "mom look" being shot across the room at church. I can line up the death stare and find the kid who is receiving it in 2 seconds flat. And clearly there is a time and place for "non-verbal communication", but I think the majority the time, our family should see love and patience on our faces, don't you agree?

Join in with us this week! Share what "the face" and "casually feminine" makes you think of!

Casually Feminine: The Mouth

Boy is this a big topic. Hee Hee. I really mean it. The Bible talks A LOT about the mouth. Oh there are many, many things to say.

But we are looking at "the mouth" in light of being casually feminine. And if I may say so, I don't think that what comes out of our mouth needs to be taken lightly. Therefore, there isn't much "casual" to this part of femininity.

When I think of casual speech, I think of sloppy, slang, joking around, even cussing. All things that a lady should not be doing. We had a visiting family at our church a few years ago when I was teaching Sweetheart's class. At the end of class the mom came in to pick up her little girl. She was really a pretty lady. That was really the first thing I noticed was how pretty she was.

And then she opened her mouth. She was impatient, snappy, and even just downright rude to her little girl. I figured maybe she was having a bad day. You never know what her morning had been like. But I will never forget how quickly the image of "pretty lady" was completely and totally CRUSHED.

So what we say and how we say it really do matter. These verses should give us a clue about our speech:

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. Ephesians 5:3-4


I grew up in a very sarcastic family. It took me a few errors before I figured out that not everyone appreciates a good sarcastic remark. My blunt joking was unappreciated by some, to say the least. Note to self: pass on this information to daughters.

Obscenity is never feminine. A woman who cusses like a sailor is not lovely to behold. Foolish talk---well, I think gossiping falls under that. It is not how the Lord would have us to act. Instead, our mouths should be used for thanksgiving. A woman with a thankful attitude is lovely in every way. Even if physically she isn't much to look at.

Now, let's discuss volume. I have consciously worked on this one in the 17 years we have been married. I used to be LOUD. In high school I thought the louder I joked and made everyone laugh, the better. My husband is a quiet person and cherishes a quiet environment. I know there were times I embarrassed him early on in our marriage just because I was talking or laughing loudly in a room full of people. I was flabbergasted! But in my more mature years, I have noticed that women who speak quietly are truly lovely to be around. I am more and more turned off by loud and obnoxious. I'm not talking about turning into one of those people that you have to lip read to follow their conversation.....just about not being the one who is always LOUD.

I don't think we can leave this topic without discussing the physical problems with the mouth.

1. A lady does not talk with food in her mouth. I am STILL trying to teach this one to my children. WHEN will they learn? I have intended to put a mirror in the dining room for quite some time now so they can see their loveliness in action. Also, a lady closes her mouth when she chews. Still working on that one too.

2. Good breath/bad breath. Here's one advantage of being quieter. If you do have bad breath and are unaware, you will be sharing it with fewer people.

3. And while you would think gum might be the answer to number 2....I have noticed more and more lately that chewing gum is not always lovely. Oh I think there is a time and place for it, but I have noticed women chewing gum when they are giving an announcement in a group, talking to a lot of people, just about anywhere! I think that chewing gum just anywhere you are is being a bit TOO casual. I used to chew gum a lot, but I think it's more a thing for very casual settings now. Just something I've been noticing lately.

4. Lipstick is not always the answer. My roommates in college, and they would not mind me sharing these stories with you, were big on lipstick. When L was student teaching, she always made sure to touch up her lipstick throughout the day. She was convinced she looked more professional with it on and freshly done. Before she left, one of the little girls in the class wrote, "Thank you for teaching us Mrs. J. You always have nice lipstick." She was ecstatic!

BUT, my other roommate K went by the same theory in childbirth. She ended up having a c section but she touched up her lipstick before wheeling off to surgery. She was determined to look good in the hospital pictures. When she got them back, here was her pale face with BRIGHT CORAL LIPSTICK emanating from every picture. It was hilarious. I think, being women who prefer a more casually feminine look, that chap stick or lip gloss might be our best friend. I wear lipstick to church. Other than that, it's just Vaseline or whatever.

5. Do I even need to tell you about how it looks for a woman to have a cigarette hanging out of her mouth?

Like I said, many things to talk about here. What matters most is what the Bible has to say about it. The other things require a mirror and becoming a people watcher. If it doesn't look lovely on anyone else you see, it probably isn't a very lovely or feminine thing at all.

Do you think our more casual dress and more casual (about everything) society has affected the way we speak/chew/talk etc?

Casually Feminine: Hairs the Deal

OK, now that we've got ourselves thinking about what we sleep in so our dear husbands see loveliness first thing in the morning....it made sense to start at the top.

The head. The hair on our head. I have long hair and I'm working on my daughters having long hair as well. Little Bit, bless her heart doesn't have much hair. Never has. Sweetheart has kind of half-curly/half-straight hair which translates to "poof head" or sometimes "feral child."

I've written about my reasons for keeping long hair here. No matter the length of your hair, (Little Bit decidedly does not have "long" hair yet even at the age of 6) I think it is important for it to look feminine. That will be different for different races and cultures. "Feminine" to Scotch-Irish American stick-straight-hair me might be completely different than for another lady. That's why I think it is imprtant to remember that feminine is the opposite of masculine. When you can't tell the difference between man and woman.....that's not right.

So, I'm a big fan of the clip. It's my grown-up version of the pony tail. Husband prefers my hair pulled back in a low ponytail. I prefer it down to sleep even though sometimes it seems to take over and I get all tangled up. I wish I could braid my own hair really well but my arms don't seem to want to do that.

Really, a personal hairdresser would be nice.

I don't color my hair and hope that I never decide to. I figure this is the color God wanted me to have. I very rarely go get it cut and I do almost nothing to it except on Sunday mornings I blow dry the front and top to help things along.

I've had my hair VERY short before. In fact, I would dare say that my hair has been short for far more of my life than it has been long. When I was growing up (FIRL can attest to this) I had short hair and I looked like a boy. Ug. Didn't dress much like a girl either except to church.

I don't fuss with my girls' hair much unless we are going somewhere. Sweetheart has pretty much outgrown bows in her hair, but I love these pony tail scarves I made for Christmas. I think the point is, do something. Fix it in some way or at least make sure it's clean and brushed. Every child's hair is so different I cannot tell you what you should do, but I do think we need to teach our girls that fixing their hair is a good thing. And on that note, I have a quote:

"...be not careless of the good looks that nature has given to you...untidiness and carelessness hide the beauty of kind deeds---but greatness of soul and nobility of heart hide homeliness of face...Take time to make yourself presentable, but do not use the time before your glass that should be given to loving service." --Mabel Hale in Beautiful Girlhood

Well said, Mabel. I guess to sum it up, our hair should not look like men's hair. We should strive for it to look neat and lovely, but not to the loss of more important things in life. I love to look at sites that show you how to do all these lovely updos, but remember, we are talking about being casually feminine and mostly, those hairdos don't fit into my daily life. (I'd still like that personal stylist to try them out on me though, ok?)

Whatever you do, I think we can all agree that all day bed-head is taking it a bit far. Right?


Now. Sigh. JulieMom thinks we need to discuss other hair. Unwanted facial hair. Hair in other places that our culture deems should be removed. I have 2 things to say about that.

1. The facial hair? Remove it for goodness sake. I don't want to know how. Pluck, shave, wax, whatever.

2. I'm all for shaving your legs and underarms, but remember: dressing modestly = far less concern about hair removal.

I just think women used to know this!

Your turn! Join in and share with us about your hair. Your woes, your successes, your thoughts.....how do you keep your hair casually feminine?

Casually Feminine: Sleepwear

Edited to add: FINE. I didn't know OK??? Now I'm not the bad guy. :)


Notice the closed bedroom door so the children don't wander in..."Mommy? Why are you taking a picture of yourself in your pajamas at 11:30am?"



The reason we decided to begin with what we sleep in is because it's the last thing my husband sees on his way out the door in the mornings.

Poor guy.

Internet, please meet my pajamas.



I love them so. I love these capri pants. They are soft, comfy, and wonderful. That shirt is just an old t-shirt. The top varies. Sometimes I wear one of my husband's old t-shirts with these capris.

Just look how the waistband is lovingly frayed.

You know Old Navy dates their stuff, right? Let's take a peek shall we?

Man! I forgot to turn the picture. Oh well. Please crane your neck now.

Oh! 2002! So that means I purchased these bad boys BEFORE I was even pregnant with Little Bit. When Sweetheart was just turning 3.

Folks, I'll be honest here. I love these capri pants, but I do love my husband as well. He deserves better than this. I think there is a place for sloppy pajamas, but it's not every night. If your husband goes out of town for work or hunting or whatever....THAT'S the night you pull out your sloppy old lovely pajamas.

S never goes out of town. Shoot.

Still, I'm keeping them. There is a time and place for these. Maybe camping trips?

Part of the reason my sleepwear is a concern is my husband. He deserves to see a lovely, feminine woman when he wakes up in the morning. Not someone dressed like a sloppy college kid. I am his bride, his wife. He is one reason why it matters.

The other reason is I have little people imitating me. Honestly I felt convicted about my sleepwear about 2 years ago. I saw that my daughters were wearing old too-big t-shirts to sleep in. Boy do they look sloppy, I thought. And then I looked down at what I was wearing.

Oh.

It wasn't doing their future husbands any favors to teach them that bedtime = sloppy. So I asked my mom to make them nightgowns. I blogged about it here....one of my favorite comment sections of all time on this blog. And I'm sorry to say that nearly 2 years later, I am still saying and wearing the same things.

It is REALLY time to change. I don't mean that I want to do an experiment and try out feminine attire for awhile. I want to BE more feminine. How do I do that? By just starting I guess.

It doesn't mean you have to wear this to bed.


If you want to, that's fine. What it probably means is that you need to talk to your husband. He might have a completely different idea than you. Remember, we are talking about being casually feminine, but that doesn't mean just casual. We need to look different than men. So what does that mean?

Personally, I think these are lovely.



And let me just interject something else here. I do not believe that modesty applies in the bedroom with our husbands. You are married for goodness sake! BUT, modesty does apply when you are just walking around the house. Maybe you don't hold to the same standards as you do for the public eye, but you do have to consider what you are walking around in.

What are your ideas for casually feminine modest sleepwear?

If you'd like to chime in today on your blog and join us on this journey, please sign on up on the 'ol MckLinky! If you don't have a blog or would just like to leave a comment--those are welcome too!


Picture sources. Here. Here.

'Cause Casual Is How We Roll

OK. First of all, I wrote this about a year ago.

And then.....and then.....well, not much happened after that.

Until the other day when my good bloggy buddy Karly e-mailed me. "How's it going wearing more skirts?" she wondered.

And after I stopped laughing, I answered her. We got all involved in a big 'ol discussion about how we NEED to be more feminine and how we NEED to be an example for our daughters and wouldn't our husbands love it and then I thought about JulieMom.

See, JulieMom has three daughters and a little group on Facebook all about modesty and I know she's thought about these matters. So she joined in our discussion and we all agreed on a few things.

1. We want/need to be more feminine.
2. We want to teach and model femininity (and modesty) for our daughters.
3. We don't see a lot of femininity around us on a daily basis.
4. We are moms. Moms who stay home and homeschool our children.
5. None of us fit into the Victorian era, sittin' around writing poetry with quill and ink while lovely classical music plays in the background and we sip tea in our beautiful white dress. That is NOT our life.

Have you ever seen a little old lady with style? I always notice them. I want to be a little old lady with lovely lady-like style one day. But how am I going to go from where I am now (You don't even want to know how I looked today. Ask Giovanna.) to being that little old stylish lady? The answer is, I'm not. I'm not going to practice looking masculine and sloppy every day and then suddenly morph into loveliness in my old age. I have to start making the changes now.

So back to how our life is. The truth is, being a mom is hard work. It's dirty work. It's tiring work. Does that give us a licence to wear jeans and t-shirts all the time? Stained clothes? Torn up stretchy pants? Sloppy shirts with holes in them?

We are not only moms, we are wives. I don't know about you, but my husband deserves better. I want him to come home to a lovely bride, not a worn out workhorse. And the truth is, my husband would HATE IT if I sat around in a white dress sipping tea and writing poetry. He'd much rather have me help him in the yard or something. He prefers a more casual look, as do I.

So Karly, JulieMom and I decided that there most certainly is too a thing called

Casually Feminine

and we are going to all figure out what that means together. With you! You are invited on this journey. Each week we are going to give out a topic (until the topics run out) and put up a MckLinky so you can all share in the fun!

For today, I'd like you to click on Karly and JulieMom's posts and read all about them, especially if you haven't met them yet. And even if you have. They did a great job explaining all this. Then, get ready next Wednesday when we will be discussing what is probably the first thing our husbands see in the morning before they leave for work.....our sleepwear. I want pictures people! I'll be sharing mine. See you then!

When Mental Isn't Good

I've been on the road to being more feminine for quite a while. Well, not so much on the road as.....well.....OK. Basically, all I've done is talk. And think.

And I think I've come to some great conclusions. BUT, I have yet to DO anything about my conclusions. Oh sure, I wear more skirts......on Sundays. And I try to dress the girls more femininely.....except when we all wear jeans every day.

The truth is, my physical surroundings don't match my mind. What I want is not happening because I don't have what I need. So I've just sat here. I've heard that people go to thrift stores and find all manner of lovely skirts and dresses for just pennies but all I have to say about that is, your thrift stores must be different than the ones around here!

I've spent lots of time looking online at skirts and dresses and beautiful feminine clothing, only to determine that I really don't have the money to spend on all of that.

So, I've learned to make skirts for the girls. Come spring/summer, they are going to look GREAT. But in the winter? We don't have so many options. And me? No progress.

Oh don't get me wrong, I have skirts, but they all need to wait until spring and summer. Also, they are a bit too dressy for everyday wear. I feel like Sweetheart. She tells me all the time, "Mom, I don't like pretty." What she means, as best I can determine, is that she doesn't like fancy. One of her best friends is very into princesses and beautiful flow-y things and Sweetheart just doesn't get it. She wants to marry a farmer and own a bunch of animals and honestly, I can see her slopping around doing farm chores alongside her husband one day. But there's a style for her too. I believe she can still be feminine and not fancy. There is such a thing as pretty---plain and simple pretty without frills. I fit into that category myself. Skip the lace please.

So I've decided to quit thinking and start DOING SOMETHING. I found some online skirt tutorials for me. I'm going to try them. I'm scared. My sewing abilities only go so far. But I want to quit wearing jeans every single day and I certainly don't want to raise my daughters to wear jeans every single day either. S agrees---he's asked me to just look at skirts for them for the spring and summer. So I must go before them as an example.

And quit just talking about it.

The Answer to Now What?

Last one! This is the conclusion of all my research earlier in the year. Tomorrow we are back to real blogging.

So the result of all my research into the topic of women's dress is that we must obey God's Word...dressing modestly and remembering that our true beauty doesn't come from our clothes. I knew those things already, so why couldn't I lay the issue to rest?

I felt a real call to look into these things and as I have, I have become more convinced about the need to dress more femininely. I know it isn't a command in the Bible and so if you think it's silly and there isn't any need to do it--I would understand your argument. But in light of my thoughts in this post, it just makes sense to me.

Having to put effort into looking feminine is a problem in this country and a recent one at that! Fifty or sixty years ago it was a non-issue. The opportunities and choices available to us today mean that it is acceptable for women to dress and behave very masculinely. I live around a lot of chemical plants and the women who work at those plants wear blue coveralls just like the men. Steel toed boots. Hard hats. The whole package. Women doing jobs like that is simply part of our world. However, I see no reason why a woman with a job that requires more masculine dress couldn't come home and transform herself! When she is not at work, she could still be feminine. I've said it before, doing "manly" things sometimes does NOT turn you into a man. You are still a woman--even clothes can't hide that.

But there is SO MUCH more to femininity than our clothes. THAT is the part I have learned. I have become an astute observer of people lately. I have observed what women wear, how they act, etc. You should try looking around you sometime. It's interesting.

Being feminine is how you act, how you talk, yes...how you dress, and how you are. You don't have to try to be a woman--you already are. But feminine takes a bit more work, especially in this time period when feminine behavior isn't particularly taught or expected.

A man a few computers down from me at the library let out a cuss word yesterday. It was a pretty big one. He looked to the side and saw me and said, "Excuse me" which I thought was terribly nice. Anyway, after that happened I wondered why he had to look over at me--did he not realize he was sitting next to a woman when he sat down? I suddenly saw myself. I was wearing jeans and a shirt--nothing that nice. I had my legs crossed like a guy and was leaned back in the chair. A picture of loveliness. You would have laughed to see me slowly sit up and uncross my legs, suddenly aware of how I looked.

That's what I'm talking about. I've seen very pretty women wearing lovely clothes who then opened their mouth and ruined the whole image with their ugly words, attitude, or rudeness. You can put a lovely skirt on me (and hopefully a shirt!) and if I'm smacking on gum, cussing, complaining, talking rudely to my husband, etc.....I'm not looking too feminine, you know?

So I'm striving to become more feminine and that does include different clothing than I usually wear. But it is so much more. I must figure this all out so I can teach and be an example to my daughters. And not only how to be feminine, but why it matters in the first place.

I think I've figured that last part out now.

The Influence of Circumstances

Thank you for allowing me to re-post this series while we were out of town. I will now post the conclusion of them and get back to real blogging. Hope the re-posts have helped someone, somewhere. :)

Royalty, high society, Paris, Hollywood...many things have influenced women's fashions over the years. There is one other thing that has caused major changes to what women wore and that is outside circumstances.

One thing that necessitated a change in clothing was the bicycle. As bicycling became more popular in the early 1900s, something had to be done to the dresses women were wearing at the time. In fact, during that time women became more physically active in general. The women's dress reform movement worked to improve women's health and comfort. It was met with great protest, but did succeed in changing women's undergarments and helping women have more sensible choices for activities like biking and swimming.

Another outside circumstance that necessitated change was wartime. Throughout recent history, clothing became more utilitarian and practical during times of war, and returned to more feminine styles during times of peace. I was very interested to learn that. Skirts became a bit shorter--thereby using less fabric. Cuffs, double yokes, knife pleats, full skirts...anything that used extra fabric unnecessarily was out. During the 40s there were rations on clothing that really affected how people dressed. Also during the war, women were urged to cut their hair shorter. Hairpins were unavailable, there were coupons for hats, and safety for women working in factories was a real concern. Some movie stars publicly cut their hair shorter in the hopes that their fans would follow suit.

Of course the Great Depression affected women's fashions as well. Mostly, women had to find a way to make do with what they already had. Women learned to turn collars that were worn out, jazz up the same dress with different accessories, and re-hem worn out dresses. Fashion was not on very many people's minds for a few years. In the same way, women had to make do without certain things during wartime. They painted "seams" on the backs of their legs when nylons were not available, and wore more functional, utilitarian dresses. Which personally, I think were still beautiful!

After World War II, longer, fuller skirts returned. With no more clothing restrictions, designers responded with lots of luxury and femininity. Women had enough of functional! I think it's very interesting that women who were used to wearing jeans and shirts for factory work would return to feminine dress after the war. Of course, the books don't say how many women wanted to return to that style, just that they did for the most part. There was a major advertising campaign encouraging women to go back home to make room for the returning men who needed jobs. So although they regained their femininity, they did not have such luck holding on to their new independence. I sure would love to hear from someone who remembers those days. Anyone got a Grandma they can ask?

Interesting things I've learned....I'm telling ya.

Just a Little While Ago

This post was originally from January 24, 2009.

For quite some time I have been thinking about how women dress these days as opposed to yesteryear. What was the big deal about pants/dresses anyway? That made me curious about how we got where we are today and I started researching.

I think the really big deal about pants vs. dresses, is that pants were kind of "the final frontier" that women conquered. It has been so recent in history that this change occurred that it still seems to be a topic of debate for those who think about such things. No matter what changes happened in women's fashion over the years, pants remained the men's territory.

My oldest sister was not allowed to wear pants to Kindergarten when she started! That was in the late 60s! My mom found a picture of our family before I was born that was taken at church. She assumed it must have been taken on a Sunday morning, for she had on a nice dress, earrings, etc. But when she looked on the back of the photo, she discovered it had been taken at Wednesday evening church. She couldn't even IMAGINE dressing up that much for mid-week services now! In the early to mid 90s when I began teaching, I wore a skirt or dress, heels, and hose 4 days a week. Once a week I wore dress slacks, flats, and trouser socks with a nice blouse or sweater.

One book that I checked out from the library showed sketches of military uniforms from World War I and World War II. They were very interesting. Nearly ALL of the women's uniforms included a skirt. In fact, only 2 did not. Those were an Army field nurse (other nurses' uniforms included skirts) and some type of pilot. Now many details about the uniforms were similar to the men's, except those skirts. It was impossible to not be able to tell the difference between the two uniforms.

These days many places of employment (Target, banks, etc.) require a form of uniforms for their employees. Do you know it? Yep, khaki pants and a polo type shirt with a name tag or the company logo on the shirt. If the two uniforms were hanging up, you would have a very difficult time trying to decide if they belonged to a man or a woman. There simply is no difference. I cannot think of a place of business that has pants for the men and skirts for the women. Even restaurants have women dressed up in black pants, white dress shirt, and a tie. Boy, talk about unisex clothing! Admit it, wouldn't it shock you just a bit to see the women who work at Target in a red blouse and khaki skirt?

This really is a recent change although our children are growing up this way. And boy is it hard! Sweetheart, my 9 year old, even remarked this week, "Mom? Karen and I are the only ones who wear dresses in Bible class. Everyone else wears jeans and a shirt." Now, I will tell you that "everyone else" includes probably 2 or 3 other girls. However, they are just a bit older than Sweetheart so she is probably looking up to them, so to speak. My poor child is wearing a skirt or dress to Bible class and feels out of place! Is there something wrong here?

I've told you before my concerns about this unisex movement. I feel that it is very tied up in feminism--that's issue number one. I feel that it stems from a rebellion against who God created us to be--that's issue number two. (Not that every lady who wears pants in rebellion to God--that's not what I am saying--just the movement in general) I feel that it greatly changes the relationship between men and women, and how we relate and act towards one another...including our husbands--issue number three.

What do you say about the gender blending and unisex movement?

The Royal Influence

This post was originally from Jan. 21, 2009.

This would be the longest post EVER if I tried to write it all at once. And since there is no way I can find that much uninterrupted time anyway, I'm going to do this in pieces today, OK?

Most of my research focused on this century, but if you go a bit further back, you will find that royalty was a major influence on fashion. I had a real DUH moment while I was reading. I never realized that "Victorian" referred to Queen Victoria's era. I know--I was appalled too. Queen Victoria did indeed have a major influence on women's clothing during her reign. Even black became fashionable when the Queen was widowed and began to wear her mourning clothes.

Even in the 1940's, young girls carefully watched what Princess Elizabeth and Princess Margaret Rose wore. (Picture here.) In our own time, we have been witness to the influence of Princess Diana. Royalty has truly influenced fashion for a very, very long time.

In light of yesterday's events (that was the inauguration)...I think it's clear that America's answer to royalty is sometimes seen in the First Family. I've already heard enough of what Michelle is wearing, as well as her daughters. I can see it already--more influence is coming. Certain other former First Ladies have greatly influenced women's dress as well.

So, influence #1? Royalty. More to come!

Who Tells Us How to Dress?

This post was originally from January 20, 2009.

In attempting to answer the question, "What is feminine dress?" I had to go back in history just a little bit. Well, actually I began a few years ago with the Bible and found 1 Timothy 2:9...

"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

...and 1 Peter 3:3-5...

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful."

So when I study the Bible, I conclude that my clothing should be modest and that I shouldn't be worrying myself with fancy and expensive attire. I do not believe that these verses say "thou shall not wear jewelry or braid thy hair"! This is not a command against those things mentioned---just a reminder that our beauty should not come from these things. We should be far more concerned with our inner beauty.

That's it. That's all I read.

So where does this idea to dress more femininely come from?

Well, to begin with, I truly believe God intended for there to be a difference. I spoke about that here. I also touched on it here. At no other point in history have women had to worry about "trying" to dress like women! The unisex, blending of genders concerns me.

One reason it concerns me to see men and women's roles and clothing become indistinguishable from each other is that it severely breaks down the family. The Bible speaks of the order of things in Ephesians 5:22-23 and also in 1 Corinthians 11:3. When things get too blurry between a husband's and wife's roles...the order doesn't work so well. I think the way we often dress today also encourages/enables women to behave more masculinely than ever before. And when women behave more masculinely...men sometimes behave more femininely (metrosexual anyone?)...and it all really goes against God's creation.

So, who tells us how to dress? Well, the most important source is God's Word and we have discussed that now. Tomorrow we will explore the other influences on women's clothing.

Any thoughts so far?

So, What Is Feminine?

This is a re-post. This originally posted on Jan. 20, 2009.

So, if you agree with me that God did intend men and women to be different--we were created for different purposes AND were created physically different from one another--then we have another question to answer for ourselves.

Then what is feminine? If I am not to act or dress or look or become masculine....but instead to be what God made me to be--then what does that look like?

I understand what it looks like to fulfill my role as my husband's helper. I didn't say I always DO it perfectly...just that I understand it! :) God did not intend for men and women to do exactly the same things. Does that mean I cannot change the oil in my car if it's needed? I don't believe so. Even though that is generally assumed to be a "male" task, if the oil needs changing...I'll be happy to....take it to Jiffy Lube. Being feminine does not mean to me that I sit around in a Victorian era dress, writing lovely poems with a quill pen and ink, doing needlepoint, and having perfectly smooth skin. I am my husband's helper. And ladies--there's a lot of work in that job! When Adam was sent out of the garden, God told him that with great toil he would work the land for food. Adam had just become a farmer. Although it probably wasn't Eve's primary job, I am sure she helped him at times in that labor. Just as she probably helped him by cooking the food and caring for his children and many other things.

Of course I am speculating about them. And I'm not interested in writing an entire post about wives and husbands and all that. My main point is: I was created for a different reason than my husband. We have different God-given roles. I cannot be both husband and wife. I cannot be both feminine and masculine. And yes, even though single moms have to do a LOT of both tasks--I believe they are still a woman. You don't turn into a man by doing manly things sometimes.

I have so much more to say about all this. Later today (hopefully) I will share with you what I learned in my research these last few weeks.

So far, I have made two points: God intended there to be a distinction between the sexes and feminine is different than masculine. We were intended for different purposes and I believe our dress should reflect the difference as well.

A Distinction

I'm re-posting this series I did on Women's Fashion. This post originally was from January 12, 2009.

I've been studying and researching women's dress for a while now. I guess it really started about 2 or 3 years ago, but lately I've really been interested in how we got where we are today.

When I first began reading blogs, the argument of "dresses only" was brought to my attention. I had never heard of such a thing except in thinking of our Pentecostal friends growing up. I was completely unaware that there were many Christian women who considered pants to be sinful. This really was news to me! I studied the scriptures and looked at the arguments they presented. I couldn't come to the same conclusion. Oh, I agree that many, many pants are immodest and some skirts are too. I know for some it is an issue of (believed) Biblical mandate, and for others, modesty is the cited reason for their wardrobe choices. I laid the issue to rest, satisfied that I had studied scriptures about it.

But I haven't been able to completely shake it from my mind.

And it's not because I gained some new insight into scripture and guess what? it really does say we are supposed to wear only dresses! because...I don't believe that.

Still, there was something about it all. What was it?

The first time I heard that pants were sinful I was really thrown for a loop. WHAT? Women have worn pants for as long as I can remember. I was photographed with Santa when I was nearly 2 wearing blue corduroy overalls. (And yes, Santa did think I was a boy.) What exactly is the issue? Women have "women pants" and men have "men pants", right?

Then I heard about distinction and things started making a bit more sense. God created Adam and Even differently. I'm thinking since they were originally wearing no clothes, that distinction was glaringly obvious to them! There was no shame in their nakedness until sin entered the picture. So imagine, if you will, Adam in his birthday suit. He's been working in the Garden for a while now, he's named all the animals and no suitable helper was found for him. He was incomplete. God caused Adam to fall asleep and took one of his ribs and formed the woman. Now when Adam wakes up, there is beautiful, soft, curvy Eve, also in her original birthday suit. How beautiful she must have looked to Adam! God created her to be attractive to him, no doubt. He also made her to be a suitable helper for him--a purpose completely different than Adam's.

Can you agree with me that God made the two sexes distinctly different from each other? Not only were Adam and Eve looking at physical differences between the two of them, but they were created for entirely different purposes! When they were punished and sent out of the Garden, they were given entirely different curses. These two people...representative of all men and women to come...were very, very different from one another. God recognized this, and surely so did Adam and Eve.

Now let's flash forward to today--to 2009. The women's liberation movement has left it's big 'ol footprint on our society in so many ways that honestly, we don't even recognize it sometimes. For women my age and younger, well, we grew up with feminism. "Anything boys can do girls can do better!" is what we sang on the playground. When I was teaching they sang, "Girls rule, boys drool." Heaven knows what they are saying now! Feminism has affected our families, jobs, marriages, country, churches, government, children, the statistics of our population, and yes...our fashion. It's not even possible to discuss women's clothing and not include a study on the history of feminism.

But today I only want to make one point: God created men and women differently. Originally, there was a distinction. Guess what? There still is no matter how badly some would like to erase that fact. No matter what we say goes in marriage and family--only females can have babies--and you still need a male to participate in the making of that baby in some capacity. Physically, we are still different although we try to hide that fact with our clothing.

Do you suppose if women could totally mask the differences seen with the naked eye, then they would be treated as equal? Of course not! Women who join the military must have some things different. No matter how much they would prefer to be treated "just like any other soldier", women have their per*ods while they are in combat. I cannot even imagine that! Women who are soldiers get pregnant. Women who are soldiers are NOT able to do the same physical tasks that men can do.

You can dress like a man, talk like a man, walk like a man, hold a job like a man....but you are still a woman. We have smudged it, but it cannot be erased.

That's my point today. BUT, the crazy, mind-blowing part of all this is....

...people saw this coming!

I borrowed a book called Women Are Wonderful! A History in Cartoons of a Hundred Years With America's Most Controversial Figure. I'm giving full credit for this book, which was published in 1956 and edited by Cole and Robinson. I would like to share a few cartoons from this book with you.

The caption on this first one says, "In some cases it's hard to tell whether they're boys or girls--except by the earrings."

That cartoon above is from the late 1920's and was making fun of "the short skirts and boyish figures" popular during that time. Of course women weren't actually walking around looking that much like men, but the cartoonist saw the road ahead. Perhaps they thought they were only joking!

The woman in this next cartoon, from 1945 says: "I bet you're glad to see an American girl after those horrible savages in the Pacific." And of course, the young man is stricken. I have to say, this cartoon was just a bit convicting. I understand completely how this young sailor would have loved to come home to a lovely feminine girl and just look what he got! How is that different from my husband coming home at the end of the day? Gulp!

Amelia Bloomer popularized the baggy pantaloons worn under skirts that were intended to allow women to participate in more activities. They didn't catch on quite so well at first and were quite shocking to many.

Interesting to me that this cartoonist from the late 1800's saw much further down the road. I would have really thought that women were just fighting for dress reform. But if a cartoonist could see the end result of these changes, did the women (and their husbands) involved in the reform efforts also see the end result? It is entitled "The Bloomer Girl's Wedding."

And the book says, "A picture to put the fear of God into any man in 1896." But really, are you that shocked by it today?

Some think of it as purely a fashion thing. But I think it speaks of so much more.

What do you say about distinction between the sexes?

I Am So Over My Hair

******Edited: I made up my mind!!! See below.*****

What do you do with your hair on a daily basis?

If you have longish hair (shoulder length or more)....what do you usually do with it? I am so tired of the 2 or 3 ways I wear my hair every single day.

I've read all the links on Ladies Against Feminism and I really don't have a desire to learn to do styles from the early 1900s anyway. As if I could. Oh I think some of them are lovely but what I would really need is a personal hairdresser.

I am CONVINCED that if I only had a personal hair and make-up person that I could look perfectly smashing every day.

And that profile picture of me over there? Yeah. It's from nearly 3 years ago. FYI my hair is half-way down my back and I have bangs, although not severe Kindergarten bangs, you know?

What do I do?????

Before. Bored with my lifeless do.

After. Now I have sprung to life again!!!Thanks everyone! ;)

Thoughts On My Hair

A note before we begin: This post is about my hair. It's not about anyone else's hair. I spend precious little time thinking about other women's hair. :)

I have had my hair all kinds of ways. My hair is naturally stick straight, but for about a decade there I permed it regularly. I loved perms--made me sad when they went out of style. I've worn my hair short, long, and in between. I'm a bit ashamed to admit it but I was fairly cutting edge back in the day and even had asymmetrical hair for a time. (shudder)

I was of the generation (a lot of you will be able to relate to this!) where your hairstyle was all about the bangs. We curled those bangs and while the curling iron was on our hair, sprayed hair spray DIRECTLY onto the barrel of the curling iron. (insert sizzling sound here) The adjective "crunchy" comes to mind.

When I was a teenager I always used to hear that "guys like long hair." Every male I ever heard talk about girls' hair agreed. I thought "well that's great--but it's not THEIR hair!" I well remember telling my husband early on in our marriage that I would grow my hair out long for him if he would get up early and fix it for me every morning. I said it jokingly of course, but the attitude was "who are you to have an opinion about MY hair?" The word "feminism" comes to mind.

Several years ago I was reading 1 Corinthians 11:3-16. It was a passage of scripture I had certainly read many times before. In the past, I had breezed right past this little passage without giving it much thought. It wasn't that I thought it wasn't "culturally relevant" (a common argument), it's just that I hadn't thought much of it.

With a changed heart and new eyes, I began to study this section of scripture more carefully. I see how folks who believe in wearing head coverings came to their conclusion. And if a woman wears a head covering in obedience to scripture...having studied it herself and come to this conclusion...then I admire her heart for the Lord. I believe the part of the scripture that says, "For long hair is given to her as a covering." (v. 15) But before we get to that...

The really important part of this passage to me is the order of the family. Many people agree with this part of the passage, by the way. "Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." (v. 3) S and I were lucky to be taught this order in high school. It was likened to an umbrella of protection. It's easy to understand, as a teenager, that our parents were under Christ and we were under our parents. When a child rebels against, or steps out from under that order, he or she is unprotected, both physically and spiritually speaking. It is a much different thing to admit, as a wife, that you are under your husband. That's a bit of a stretch away from "modern thinking."

Now this passage is talking about worship--praying and prophesying are mentioned. But there are so many larger truths packed in those paragraphs. The passage goes on to mention, "the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head." (v. 10) It talks about "the very nature of things" (v. 14) and also about long hair being a woman's glory (v. 15). Oh, there is a lot to study in that passage!

And study it I did. I talked with my husband about it too. We studied it together. I DO NOT understand everything in this passage of scripture, let me be clear! But I walked away from it with a different perspective. Doesn't it make sense? A woman has long hair and a man does not. "if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him..." (v. 14). Things were like this for hundreds and hundreds of years. Study the history of women's hair. Study the effects of feminism. (Click on "You've Come a Long Way, Baby!" EXCELLENT!) A sign of authority. My husband is over me. Hmm. Hmm. It had me thinking.

Now, women who don't wish to let their thoughts go in the direction mine went, will probably prefer to think about this verse:
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7b
I've heard that phrase "God looks at the heart" used when speaking of clothing, modesty, and hair. And I know that it is true. I could have hair longer than anyone and an ugly, disobedient, rebellious heart. I could have the shortest hair ever for a woman and have the most lovely, obedient, submissive heart you could imagine. It truly isn't a "sign of obedience" for a woman to have long hair. It won't tell YOU a thing about me other than the fact that I have grown my hair out.

But with the decision to grow out my hair did come a submissive heart. I did it for the Lord, and for my husband. It was a way of showing that I understood, and accepted, God's order. That's how it started out. Is there a certain length I was going for? Nope. My hair has been what I would consider long for quite some time. I do not grow more spiritual with every inch I add to my hair length. It also had a little to do with cultural rebellion. Yep, I was rebelling against rebelling. Confusing enough for you? Our culture has become too unisex, to masculine, too...a lot of things. Growing my hair out was a return to order for me. A statement that I am feminine (well, somewhat...I'm a work in progress!).

I got used to my long hair and haven't thought about all these reasons for a while. Lately these thoughts have been coming back to me because my hair has gotten just long enough to drive me crazy. You know that length where it gets in your armpits? TMI? :0 NO, I did not say I was growing out armpit hair!!!!

OK--back to the topic...my hair is just long enough right now to be a burden. About a month ago I asked S if he would trim it for me in the evening because it was making me crazy. We didn't have time that night and the hair just kept growing. And last week I was really thinking about that burden of long hair.

It reminds me.

It reminds me that I am under my husband (who is under Christ). It reminds me of his and His authority over me. Every time I move my hair out of the way so I can do something, every time I rummage around for a clip to put it up, every time I brush it out....I am reminded.

If I had short hair I could do some things easier. It would give me more independence. More free time. Less worry. Less of a burden.

And I would be my own woman.

But I am not my own. I have a small burden to remind me of the place the Lord has asked me to occupy. And that is why...right now....I'm keeping it just like it is.