In Which Spring Break is the Middle (for some)

Well, since we got such a late start on our school year (Dad in the hospital most all summer, his funeral, recovery from that) and started after Labor Day, we are JUST NOW half-way through with the school year. Well, Little Bit is anyway. She would be a little further but we accomplished exactly one week of school before her tics reared their ugly head.

We went to a psychologist for the first time for her a few weeks ago. She's seen a neurologist twice, but the neurologist heard she had been dealing with anxiety and said the psychologist could help with that as well as the Tourette Syndrome. I was very unimpressed with the clinic, but the doctor herself was great. She said she would give grief at least a year before she would worry about treating the anxiety (which has since gone away) so that was reassuring.

Climbing on the rhino that sticks out of the building at the zoo.

The other good news is Little Bit will being doing some training this summer to learn a method which the name escapes me right now but basically it is learning to re-train the brain to ignore the tics. She said we will have to go to about 6 sessions, with homework and then we should be good. That is good news as well.

While we were at the psychologist's office, we got into a brief discussion about Sweetheart and her ADD. We had tried meds last year but they didn't work. I was telling the doctor how the doc who prescribed the meds wouldn't put her on a stimulant due to her sister having TS. She said that was ridiculous and she absolutely could have stimulants. So....to medicate or not to medicate?

OK, maybe Sweetheart can help Little Bit.

Well, earlier this week Sweetheart was going to make mac-n-cheese to go with our supper. She messed up and put the milk, butter, and noodles all in the boiling water. OK. Read the directions, slow down and think about what you are doing. Certainly not her first time to make mac-n-cheese! Then she messed it up again! That's two boxes of food down the drain if you are keeping count. The next day she messed up something else she was cooking. I made it for her the next time. That's five boxes of food we went through for 2 side dishes. She's 16 and she's pretty comfortable in the kitchen. She can make a lot of things. This really concerned me. For goodness sake one day this child may need to feed herself! If she can't even concentrate long enough to make something as simple as noodles, that's a problem! Not to mention how behind in school she is or how long it takes her to get something done. Not to mention her room.

SERIOUSLY I'm not going to mention those things!!!!!

They aren't good for my blood pressure.

Hang on, Bee. You seem to be backwards.

For now I shall concentrate on the fact that my 6th grader is half-way through with school. And I will rejoice in that.
We're gonna give "year round school" a whole new meaning this year, that's for sure.

Whew. There were about 25 other pictures in this series. They crack me up.

Apparently We Are Collecting Diagnoses

Well. I was getting on here today to catch you up on Little Bit a uh...little bit. (Sorry). She's 11 1/2 and Facebook just showed me that 6 years ago it was her first day of Kindergarten and she looked like this:

This last year was 5th grade for her and we had quite a year with her too. In the past she has had problems with convergence insufficiency. If you don't know what that is, it's OK. I didn't either at first. It means when her eyes looked at something and each eye took a "picture" of that object, the two pictures didn't converge completely, causing her to see double. As you can guess, this doesn't help with reading. It causes headaches and lots of other problems. As her books got smaller and smaller font, it became more of a problem. We actually only found out what the deal was because my dad mentioned he saw double and Little Bit piped up with, "Me too!" 

News to us! Anyway, we did home therapy using a computer program in the spring of 4th grade and she graduated from that and all was well. 

We had a vision therapy party when she finished.
I had a lot of fun planning it!

Until it wasn't. She started having troubles with her eyes and daily headaches again this year. We went back to the same doctor's office, but a different doctor. He is an older gentleman and has seen his fair share of bad vision. He was truly amazed by how poor her convergence was. He had us come back many times and was genuinely concerned. He kept working with us until we got it back on track though. In the end she had to restart and completely re-do the computer program, in addition to adding reading glasses with prisms. But now she doesn't have daily headaches and can work without pain. 

Of course Tourette Syndrome lives on at our house. Sometimes it was hard to tell if her vision was causing frustration, or her tics. Either way it means I spend a lot of time working with her one on one and that is not good for Sweetheart, who gets off task when the wind blows. 

Towards the end of the year she was having real fits during work, especially math. Crying, screaming, carrying on. SO frustrated. I was hoping she just needed a break for the summer. But then a couple of days ago she had a similar fit while working on some Bible memory stuff for church. Oh dear. I'm not ready for next year if this is how it's going to be. So I posted some questions in some groups I'm in on Facebook and it all snowballed into me messaging our former preacher's wife, who is a dyslexia tutor. She sent me some videos and information and now I am sure, where before I was only suspicious, that we are dealing with dyslexia as well. Very sure. Which of course changes most of the curriculum choices I had already made for next year. And has sent me off on a flurry of research. 

Aww...matchy sisters...

We really didn't NEED another diagnosis. But it's OK. We've been dealing with it all along even when I wasn't sure. 

She is such an awesome kid. She and I did the grocery shopping on Sunday and I realized part-way through that I thoroughly enjoy spending time with her! She's funny and has good ideas and is very responsible. But school....oh school. I'm not ready for ya!

These Things Were More Fun When I Was Little

Whew! The girls had their first choir concert last night. Due to losing our first venue, we had to have the rehearsal and concert all on one night. This resulted in a crazy schedule of keeping up with who needed to be in the auditorium at what time and getting them dressed in the bathroom at certain times and feeding them in between all of that. Goodness. All while keeping up with this little one who ran around for 4 hours before the concert started.

One of the finer moments was me sitting in a chair in the handicapped stall trying to put on my tights and trying to hurry because I knew our friend would need the handicapped stall in a minute....Little Bit was body blocking Bee from playing in the toilet. Bee is yelling, "Go 'way! go 'way!" to Little Bit and then she just dropped her arms down by her sides, threw her head back and screamed the most ear piercing scream ever.

After apologizing to everyone in the restroom, we got done and out of there. But the good news is she behaved very nicely during the concert.

 Little Bit, middle...

Sweetheart, top middle...(unedited pics. Sorry)

So I am very proud of them, etc. But more than that, I am relieved its over! What a lot of stress for a Mama! So many logistics to consider. Being a kid is much easier.

We got home well after 10pm so everyone is sleeping in today. After that, and pancakes, Sweetheart and I will be going to her first physical therapy appointment. School will happen in bits and pieces again today.

And Saturday we are going to see the Texas Tourette Association's Christmas Tree featuring an ornament by Little Bit. She's going to be so proud.

Have a great weekend!

Go Time

I'm ready for a break from school, folks.

Actually, I'm ready for summer and for school to be over. But I'll take a break. I was reading one of Lee Binz' e-books yesterday about high school courses and she was saying if the course is 80% complete--call it complete. After all, that's what public schools do.

Hmm. This theory may work well for me as far as science goes.

We need to finish up quite a bit of stuff in the next 5 weeks, that's for sure.

But today is our last day and then a small break! We're taking a few days off while our friends are visiting. I plan to relax and enjoy NOT doing school. Maybe I'll stop grinding my teeth.

Then next week we have the IOWA test. Our homeschool group offers this test each year and we certainly don't have to take it. This year I am having Sweetheart take it as next year is her 8th grade year and I want to fill in gaps before high school. I suspect I know what those gaps are, but this test will help. Hey, if she already knows something (even if I haven't taught it), I certainly don't want to waste my time teaching it! And Little Bit didn't want to be left out. I've never had Little Bit take the test (Sweetheart took it in 3rd and 4th) because she's not on grade level. Plus, she doesn't have Sweetheart's personality. The test will unnerve Little Bit. Nerves = more tics for her.

So, the solution is, I will administer the test to her in a room by ourselves. She won't have to worry about holding any tics in or being quiet for others in the room. I'm testing her on the 2nd grade test as that's closer to what level she's been working on in reading and math. Hoping she blows it out of the water!

Therefore...with these 2 breaks coming back to back, and company coming...we've got work to do today!

You know, finish school.
Scrub the potties.

Stuff like that.

Come on Holiday girls!! We're waiting for you!

Project Fair 2013

This year Sweetheart chose Ancient China for her project. Since we are using Sonlight's Core F (Eastern Hemisphere), she had studied plenty about China earlier in the year.

Here are some close-up shots of her board (which is going in the trash soon!)

I know those are difficult to see---they are more for our memory. She had some prayer cards in a pocket that people could take to pray for her favorite city--Beijing. And she highlighted the missionary Hudson Taylor, whom she read about this year. Our real life missionary friend is home right now and was able to come watch the girls' presentations. So that was a special treat!

Little Bit did her presentation on Tourette Syndrome. When I first suggested that topic she said, "But Mom, I haven't learned about Tourette Syndrome this year." Oh honey. Every single day we learn how to deal with it!

This was her first time ever explaining TS to anyone. It was very interesting to hear her put it into her own words. Also, since she was so young when she was diagnosed (4 years old) and even younger back when were first noticing her tics (1 1/2 years old), she learned about her own story through all this.

And a few other shots of her project board:

I was very proud of both girls. We practiced their presentations a few times at home and they did a very good job on the real thing. I mean, of course there is always room for improvement. However, they spoke loudly, they made eye contact with the audience, they used their notes, and they answered questions at the end. That's the part that is hard to prepare them for. I pretended to be the audience each time at home and ask questions, but you never know what they are really going to be asked. Overall, I was very pleased with their presentations!

This Time It's Not About Rearranging

BUT...boy we sure have to change how we homeschool from month to month! We started the year working at the coffee table, mourning the loss of our homeschool room. Then, we graduated to setting up a card table in the living room each morning. That's where we stand now. But lately, Bee (who will be 10 months old tomorrow), has been more content to play and we've been able to get a bit more done.

Baby Bee's reaction to the new baby gate.

EXCEPT the tics. Little Bit's Tourette's has been making school work very difficult. She can only work for short periods of time. So we get school done in snatches and not every subject by any means. Tomorrow is the day after spring break and I intend to really hit some of the things we've been neglecting lately. I want to finish the school year with a lot under our belt.

Little Bit made a cake for my parent's anniversary. She's working on her Grandparents Badge in Keepers.

THAT will mean staying home more. And this week, with a dentist appointment, shopping trip, regular errands, piano, homeschool gym day, and Keeper's meeting...may not be the best week to say that.

Sweetheart and I used to look at the Sonlight catalog at all the older siblings holding babies while they did their school work. She's one of them now.

TRULY we used to get more done our first few years of homeschooling. I only had one student, we stayed home a lot because our homeschool social network was not very well established. Sigh. A middle schooler with a pretty substantial workload, a 3rd grader dealing with tics, and a cruising baby is definitely my most challenging equation yet. I mean, being pregnant was hard too but let's face it...I don't remember much of it because I was asleep.

Baby Bee is always willing to help. She helps a lot.

SPEAKING of tics. (Which, I was a few minutes ago) I had a thought the other day. I don't remember exactly what all things came together for this to occur to me, but I decided perhaps a weighted blanket might help Little Bit. Have you seen these? They are used mostly for children with autism to help calm them down. They are also for sensory processing disorders. It also occurred to me that Little Bit might have a little of that concern too. There are certain fabrics she cannot touch because they give her goose bumps. Napkins are difficult. I carried a cloth napkin in the diaper bag for a while. She's giving away a teddy bear because he feels wrong and bothers her. I spent 5 minutes researching sensory processing disorders but I didn't come to any conclusions.

We took a day off for a field trip to the zoo and art museum. L to R Matt with Bee, Emily, Sweetheart (top), Kate (bottom) and Little Bit.

AT ANY RATE, I'm going to try sewing her a weighted blanket. That's what I'll be doing this week.

In between errands.

And school.

Which will all work out really well as long as no one requires food.

In Which Brenda Has Insomnia and is NOT Pregnant

Man, the last few nights have been just like when I was pregnant. I go right to sleep and then about 3 or 4am...BAM. Wide awake.

Wide awake and solving all the problems of the world. And worrying.

You name it, I covered it last night. I worried about money, a person who is living in sin that I need to write a letter to about that (wrote the letter in my head--check), Little Bit's sore gums, health, my terminally ill cousin, lack of progress in school...etc.

It's a really tiring way to wake up.

This morning I went with S to a follow up appointment at his new doctor's office. She's very nice and young but she prescribed two things that I will be researching. Not at all sure I want him on those drugs. So that's my next project.

S holding Baby Bee last fall on our camping trip.

Sweetheart asked over the weekend if the Bible said anything about modesty. That question surprised me as I've always talked about modesty with them. Guess its been years since we actually read any Bible verses about it. And now that she's as old as she is, I decided to show her how to study something she is curious about. After our first study time she said it was fun and she really enjoyed it. THAT is an answer to prayer!

Sweetheart playing in the "snow" at Daddy's work Christmas party.

Last Monday, right in the middle of history, Little Bit's tics reared their ugly head. Not just any tics, but the dreaded screaming tic.

Me: So Abraham moved from Ur to Canaan...
LB: Ur. Ur. Urururururur. SCREAM
Me: (thinking) please be kidding

All we can think is that she got overly tired from our fun weekend with the Holiday family. Whatever it was set her off from Monday until Wednesday afternoon. It was a very tiring 3 days. She was exhausted, school didn't get completely done, there were tears. One happy note is that the screaming didn't seem to bother Baby Bee at all. Sometimes she just looked at Little Bit and screamed back. That made us all laugh. And Bee managed to sleep through them too.

We upped her supplement she takes and I think we may have overdone it and given her too much and made her stomach upset. ANYWAY....all that to say...that's why I haven't been blogging.

Tourette Syndrome is more time consuming than regular life.

Little Bit at our church's children's Christmas party. Can you tell I need to upload some more recent pictures???

We broke out our copy of Front of the Class and watched it together. That prompted me to read the book again. What struck me this time I read it was Brad Cohen's description of learning with Tourette's present. It really made me think about why Little Bit is where she is in school.

Baby Bee in the owl hat Auntie Carrie got her.

And in more horrible news: Bee is crawling. Oh I'm kidding. It's wonderful news. She looks so cute scooting across the floor. Boy did big sisters start scrambling around picking stuff up when on Sunday she suddenly took off! Now she not only crawls, but pulls up at the coffee table and gets into everything. Nothing is safe anymore. Gee I wonder why I'm not more productive?


Oh wait. I AM productive.

Just in my head at 4am.

From Drowning In...to Drowning Them Part 2

So, last week I shared about our struggle to deal with our daughter's Tourette Syndrome earlier this year. Things were bad. We drove around in the car many times late at night trying to keep her mind off of the tics so she could relax enough to go to bed.

Little Bit, let's count how many flags we see, OK?

1....2...SCREAM....3.....now let's look for SCREAM 4.....oh look! SCREAM There are a lot in that parking lot! SCREAM 5, 6, 7, 8....Let's go see if there are any down SCREAM this road.....

On and on. In spite of the screaming tic, we really did enjoy those drives. She couldn't wait to get out of the car and tell Daddy how many flags we saw.

During all of this, we started researching online. It's hard to find anything but basic information on TS but I was determined. I stumbled on some forums of TS parents who were trying natural remedies and diet changes and various other medications. I read and read. It was totally and completely overwhelming. I spoke with a friend whose 13 year old son is autistic because they have been dealing with all this for years and know a lot. I told her my frustration of just not knowing where to start.

I read that if we eliminate X from her diet, it will help.
I read that perhaps her gut is full of Y so should tackle that.
I read to avoid A,B, or C foods and it would help.

So our friend told us to ask for a nutritional panel at our doctor's office. That would give us enough information to start. Is she actually low or high in this or that? Why should we go to all the pain and turmoil of changing her diet if we weren't even certain that was the problem?

It was overwhelming to say the least.

And I told you earlier this year about how, when I got to our primary care doctor, the nurse asked me how to spell Tourette Syndrome.

Not a good sign. I have never been shoved out of a door so fast in all my life! Our doctor would have nothing to do with us. "The neurologist can help you. You should go see him." Boom. Kicked to the curb (and $20 poorer for that!)

The only thing I read about that even seemed doable was Epsom salt baths. I read that they help. The magnesium helps. This we could do. Poor Little Bit, she sat in that bath for a long time each evening. And sometimes in the middle of the day. I read she needed to stay in about 20 minutes for it to "soak in" and that's a long time to be in the bath multiple times a day.

So, that's where I stopped blogging about it all. But I wanted to tell you the wonderful conclusion to our story.

We had a friend over for Bible study one night. She was sitting on the couch visiting with us when Little Bit came in crying and screaming and ticcing like crazy. S told me to go put her in the bath and while Little Bit and I left to go do that, he explained the Epsom salt baths to our friend.

And that is when the most wonderful news ever reached our ears.

"Magnesium helps?" asked friend. "Because I take a magnesium supplement every night." (for another reason)

Friend proceeds to tell us how she read that we are all magnesium deficient in America because we don't eat enough dark, leafy greens and even if we do, our soil is depleted and our water so treated that we don't get enough magnesium in our bodies naturally.

The next day she brought over her magnesium supplement and showed me how to prepare it.

And that night, Little Bit fell asleep in 20 MINUTES!!!!! What had been taking nearly 2 hours was cut down to 20 minutes. There was much rejoicing in the House Revised.

So now, every day, Little Bit "drowns her tics" by drinking orange juice with her magnesium supplement mixed in. She has been almost completely tic free since that night. Over Sweetheart's birthday weekend, we forgot her "drink" several times and the tics started to come back. We upped her dosage a bit for a few days until things got back under control.

I am still in awe that something so simple and so easy to do could have such a profound effect on her! I have no idea if magnesium supplements would help all people with TS because certainly it would be more well-known if that were true. Right? And also many people suffer from co-morbid disorder where they are dealing with TS in conjunction with other acronyms all at the same time. Our daughter simply has TS--and it worked.

Boy did it work! Just. Like. That. Life was back to normal. She sat through church. She started sleeping in her own bed. She stopped worrying about going out in public. Over. Just like that.

I am not a doctor, but if you are dealing with TS in your family, please feel free to e-mail me and I will be happy to share specifics on what we use. (Not trying to do a commercial on here or get sued for giving out medical advice!) We are thankful each day for the Lord answering our prayers to help us with our daughter. I have no idea if the tics will come back one day in spite of the supplements. We might be searching for other answers in a few years. But for now, things are good.

From Drowning In...to Drowning Them

Earlier this year we were drowning. Our family felt like it was going down a big ol' whirlpool and we were desperately trying to claw our way out. Something had taken over our life and absolutely everything we did--from sleeping to eating to going to church to running errands--everything was rotating around one thing: Tourette Syndrome.

Our younger daughter (7 year old Little Bit), was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome when she was 4. We thought the tics had been bad before. We thought it was awful that our little girl had to live with such a thing.

What we did not know is up until this year, it had been a walk in the park. With balloons. And possibly cotton candy.

When she was diagnosed the neurologist told us he would not consider medication for her unless "she just isn't able to function in daily life." Well let me tell you, we were there. But still we did NOT want to put her on any of the drugs that are offered to control the symptoms of TS.

You may ask why? Why would you refuse to get medicine that might help your daughter? Well, the medicines are big and bad. And none of them work on all people with TS. And she is so tiny. I could not even imagine having her take some of those medicines. We still thought there was more we could try before we got there.

Before I tell you what we tried, I'd like to tell you how life was. It all feels like one big blur, but I will try to describe how our definition of "bad" changed.

You know, there are two kinds of tics: motor tics (any repetitive movement that they "have to do") and vocal tics (any repetitive noise that they "have to make"). Little Bit had mostly had motor tics since she's been showing symptoms just before she turned 2. Lots of motor tics. Lots and lots and lots of motor tics.

Jumping, shrugging one shoulder, touching her thumb to her head, tucking her chin towards her chest, touching the arm of whoever is next to her, touching her tongue to whatever item was in her hand, head shaking, blinking, touching her tongue to each shoulder, raising her eyebrows, clenching her fingers, tightening her neck,  wiping her eyes....the list goes on and on. There is no way to record them all. The motor tics, they are aplenty. I remember one night when she was 3 or 4, her motor tics were going so crazy that S just picked her up, put her on his lap, and wrapped his arms completely around her trying to help her calm down and be able to be still for a just a few seconds. She would get so exhausted from all the movement all day long.

But the vocal tics were very few: clearing her throat (the one that prompted us to the doctor originally), making sort of a huffy breath by exhaling quickly, repeating certain words or sounds...not that much to report.

Then, around April, everything changed. We aren't really sure what set it off. Usually, her tics tend to get worse around her birthday and Christmas. That makes sense, huh? Exciting. Anticipation. But in April? One thing that did happen was my Dad was in the hospital for about a week. We thought that might have had something to do with it. But even after he was home, things continued to get worse.

This time the tics were mostly vocal. Here was the tic: screaming. As loud as she could. Until the veins in her neck stood out. Her whole body would tense up during the scream. Rest a few seconds. Repeat. For HOURS. In between screams she would fuss and cry that her throat hurt and that she didn't want to do it anymore. She was exhausted. The screaming carried on off and on throughout the day. It went away while she was swimming so we did a lot of physical activity! But no matter how the day went, at bedtime it all got worse. The girls share a room so we pulled Little Bit out onto a mattress in the living room so Sweetheart had some hope of getting to sleep. Although she could certainly still hear the screaming, she eventually went to sleep each night. Back in the living room, S and I tag teamed trying to help Little Bit get to sleep. We tried everything: ignore it, rub her back, give her the iPhone to play Angry Birds (which seemed to help calm her down because she was concentrating), play soft music (couldn't hear it), drive around in the car, go on a walk, get up and play longer until she was so tired she would surely be able to fall asleep, pray (throughout all of it), rocking her, reading to her (couldn't hear it). The list goes on. No matter what we tried, it took almost 2 hours to get her to sleep each night. The entire time punctuated by screams.

And church? Or outings in public? Oh dear. We switched churches during this time (a good change--less stress actually). At our old church, the music was so loud she could actually scream into a little pillow we brought and no one would hear her! We had to leave early as she couldn't hold it together very long and didn't want to go to class. At our new church, she and I would just go sit in the cry room or go outside where she could scream. We went out to eat for S and my Dad's birthday one evening and she was worried about "what if I have to scream?" I was so over the tics by that point I told her to just go ahead. I honestly knew that I wouldn't have cared who looked. But, she was horrified by the thought, so we went to the parking lot.

The screams really did hurt your ears. We tried to not cover our ears or react as though it was hurting but one time I did rub my ear after a particularly loud scream right by my ear and Little Bit just dissolved into tears. "I'm sorry Mommy! I'm sorry I hurt your ears!" Oh my heart. Sweetheart is sensitive to loud sounds anyway so she came to school each day with cotton in her ears so she could get her work done. School was done in segments. There is only so much frustration a 1st grader can handle. It was during this time that I realized--we are definitely at the point where she is not able to function in daily life.

We were drowning in tics. She was drowning in frustration and exhaustion.

Tomorrow I will share how we drowned those tics and what is working for us (right now!). If you have a child with TS, then you know how difficult it is to find answers on the Internet. I am sharing our story so that it might help others who are dealing with this. Stay tuned!

Doubts and Reassurance

All this went through my brain in one day--today! No wonder I'm tired.

First of all, I'm helping administer a standardized test for our homeschool group this week. I'm giving the test to some 1st graders. I have 3 of them, all boys. Actually one of them is officially in Kindergarten but his mom decided to give him the first grade test.

Well. (Here is where I remind you that Little Bit is in first grade as well. She is not testing.)

During the first break, one little boy whipped out a pretty thick chapter book to read. Then the Kindergarten kid broke out a Harry Potter book. Um. Really?

'Cause MY first grader can't........(you see where this is going right?) Oh dear the anxiety. I didn't freak out, but I was supremely glad she was not in that room.

We'll get back to that in a minute.

The other thing that happened is I've been all whiny and upset about NOT being done with school when we normally are. I KNEW this was going to be a concern when I chose to follow the Sabbath Schedule. I KNEW I would need reminding of the fact that we have taken 6-7 weeks off during the year so it is OK that we are not done yet.

It's really hard when all around you hear, "we only have 12 more days" or "nine more days" or whatever number of days. Everyone is counting down to the end and we have five more weeks. I am not used to this. It is my first year to not follow the normal schedule.

Remember that.

So here was my conclusion on these matters at the end of the day.

1. I realized that the Tourette's actually has affected our school progress. It isn't the only thing, but I started adding up all the times she has had to take a break, or go lay down. All the minutes spent crying and complaining about the tics. All the adjustments to the schedule I've made because she was having a bad day, how hard it is for her to concentrate sometimes.....it has affected her learning. Stupid tics.
2. What we were doing for reading just wasn't clicking along. So last week we started a whole new approach. It's too soon to see results, but I feel confident in our direction. So she isn't reading anything but emergent readers? Check back with me in a few months. Soon. Everyone walks at different times. Everyone reads at different times. In a few years, you won't be able to tell who learned first. I've said these words to parents 100 times. Today I'm listening to myself.
3. Her tics have been so much less in the last 3 days it's not even funny. So today during school when she complained and couldn't do it and her tics were bad...I let her go lay down. Not to play, mind you. Lay down or do school. She chose resting. But when that was over, she was fine and dandy.
So I decided we've gotten into some bad routines lately. A few weeks ago, she honestly couldn't make it through school. Not so today. After supper I had her come finish her work, which caused her to miss playing with her sister, which resulted in many tears. I said, "Maybe tomorrow you'll do your school work when it is school time." I think our really rough time with the Tourette's is coming to an end (for now) so it's time for Mommy to crack the whip.

And that is what I concluded about that.

The other? It was solved when I was peeling potatoes tonight and realized/remembered that in a few weeks every public place will be crowded and filled with all the public school kids who will soon be set free. And that I won't WANT to go anywhere. So we may as well still be doing school, huh? I realized that here at home with my family is where I'm happy and that we don't have to have the same schedule as anyone else. So no more stressing/feeling rushed about ending this year.
My cousin said it best on Facebook today (where I was whining):

Your pace, your space, no race.

I like it. And that is the story about how I both freaked out and talked myself down about 2 different things today.

The End.

You Get Cereal Today

That's what I'm telling my kids. And sorry blog readers....that's probably what you are going to get too. A Monday post. With bullets.

• I just remembered the "bug man" is coming this afternoon. (pest control) That means things have to be picked up and somewhat orderly. Yikes. Wish I had remembered yesterday!
• I need to pay bills.
• I'm helping administer a standardized test this week for our homeschool group so we actually have to be up, dressed, and coherent at a decent hour some this week. Yikes.
• That means we need to pick out all our clothes for the week today. Including finding shoes.
• Little Bit fell asleep in just 30 minutes last night!! We had a friend over for dinner Saturday night and she mentioned Natural Calm. I had read about Kid's Calm in all my research lately so I was interested. Anyway, she brought some over last night and we had Little Bit drink it before bed. Boom! Asleep in 30 minutes. Thank you Lord!!
• I hope to sell some curriculum this week. I need to get some money back for all the curriculum I need to buy for next year and all the money I gave to the eye doctor last week.

I hope you and your family enjoy that Caribbean vacation, Mr. Eye Doctor.

I'm just saying it would be nice to get some money coming in for all the stuff I have in that homeschool room. And clean out a bit!

And of course, there is school, laundry, the ever-lasting picking up, and even one errand. Monday.

But I'm thankful to be healthy, home with my children, taking care of my house, and the beautiful weather outside.

Also, Carrie mentioned she had started reading my blog from the beginning. Like...in 2007 when I wrote deep posts about everything on my mind and had zero comments. She said it was "funny." Still waiting for her to clarify that. Hmm.

Failure Is Not an Option

Well, my magnificent plan to get everyone tired so they would fall asleep at a decent hour failed. Sweetheart fell asleep between 9:30-10:00. Too late for me. She always reads in bed, but she's usually asleep by 9:30 and that's actually too late also. She's been sleeping later in the mornings and I don't want to get into that routine.

Of course, it probably has been difficult to get to sleep in our house what with all the screaming at bedtime. I've learned that just because Little Bit had a great tic-free day, that has nothing to do with bedtime. Sigh. She fell asleep a little after 10:00.

So my new plan is to just wake them up earlier each day by about 10 or 15 minutes until we are back to getting up at a decent hour. I will not fail!

Other than that, I'm grocery shopping today. Doing laundry. Cleaning a bit. All the really exciting things 40 year old moms do with their Saturdays. It's funny but it never occurred to me growing up that my parents would WANT to be doing anything different than what they were doing. I mean, I knew sometimes my dad wasn't in the mood to go to work....but they seemed really content sewing and mowing the yard and watching the news. They were parents, for goodness sake. I wonder if they ever just wanted to wake up on a Saturday and go to the mall, see a movie, go shopping, go out out to eat, go to the beach, etc. (You know, my former Saturdays)

But those days, while nice, bite you in the butt because when you get home you still have laundry, and dishes, and grocery shopping and bills to pay. I need to have a talk with teenagers because they think they have it bad but really, it's us 40 year old moms who need to be complaining.

Don't you think? If they don't believe me, I'll offer to switch weekends with them sometime.

As long as I have a car.

I Was Looking for Another Way to Spend Our Money

I Spy a Problem
Last Sunday afternoon we went bowling with the girls. Sweetheart asked me who was winning and I pointed up at the TV screen. She sort of shrugged like, "and?" I told her to look in the right hand column of the screen and she could see who was winning.

But she couldn't see it. OK. Walk up there until you can see it.

She got half-way up there before she could see it. Aaaaaaannnnnddddd, so we are going to the eye doctor today.

I sort of felt badly because homeschooled kids don't get regular vision and hearing screening. Then I realized that she had screenings every year she was in school. Also, in 3rd grade I printed a chart off the computer, measured our kitchen floor, and screened her vision just like they do in school. And it was fine. So, this problem has come up in the last 2 years.

Oh well, we'll see what they say.

A Tic Update
We are adjusting to life with (daily) tics. Little Bit has been sleeping in the living room. Honestly she could sleep in the kitchen sink if it would help. Last night it only took her 45 minutes to go to sleep and she didn't have a melt-down of frustration. So, that's improvement. School has to be done in increments. And my eardrums might burst from the screaming. But other than that, things are OK.

I am trying very hard to stay home as much as possible this week so she will not feel the need to hold her tics in. I like staying home anyway so this works for me. But the eye doctor cannot wait. Thank goodness for Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Hannibal, Face, Murdoch, and B.A.
I think my sister feels sorry for us that we do not have TV. Every holiday she buys S a DVD of an old 80s show. Last month for his birthday he got season 1 of The A-Team. We've been watching it.

May I just say that the show is completely unbelievable? I mean, I watched it as a child so I loved it (and honestly it's still enjoyable) but wasn't the show actually made for adults to watch? People must have been very gullible in 1983.

Or maybe they were wooed by the explosions and stunts? Anyway, it's better than reality TV.

I haven't had a lot of sleep lately so I'm lost on how to tie this much random together. Sorry for the sudden end to this post. Summary paragraphs are being accepted in the comments section. Thank you.

One Last Fix

So....with the week we've had with Tourette Syndrome, and the unfruitful doctor visit, I took a trip to the bookstore.

I came home with this:

I read about it on Heather's site, OMSH. As soon as I saw it, I gulped and scrolled down quickly. Look away! I do not want to read that book!

But I bought it last night because:

1. S has diabetes.
2. Little Bit has TS.
3. Mommy is too squishy.
and suprisingly,
4. Miss Skinny-Minnie Sweetheart is probably the most hard-core sugar addict in this house.

We all need to get off the white stuff, is what I'm saying.

I'm only 15 pages into it and I just asked S to pick up a Twix for me at the store. I can tell I better eat it before I read any further.

Yes, I really did. It's sitting here beside me right now. Right by my new book. I love myself.

I was telling my friend about the book today and her high-tech self whipped out her Kindle and looked it up and found a book about getting children off of sugar by the same author. She's seriously looking at it for her son.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted. Just as soon as I wipe the chocolate off my face, I'm going to start reading.

Worrying in the Middle of the Night

Does anyone else do this? I know the Bible says not to worry, and I try really hard to not. But sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and absolutely every single thing I've been concerned about comes to the front of my brain and they all seem like completely insurmountable problems at 2:00am.

For example, last night I woke up and worried about money. We blew through some cash this weekend on various things (almost all of it necessary) and for some reason I started tallying up the amount we had spent and freaking out. FOR SURE we were out of money and would have NO MONEY to pay our bills in the morning. I very nearly got up to balance the checkbook just to assure myself but that seemed silly. I really did want to sleep.

This morning, of course, it wasn't nearly as bad as it had seemed in the night. The bills are paid.

I worried about other things in the night. The Tourette's around here is bad right now (the worst its ever been) and it is stressful. I thought about getting up to research more but again, I wanted sleep. Little Bit was sleeping on a mattress in our room last night and every time she moved she banged into our world's loudest drawer pulls. That wasn't really helping the sleep.

I can't even remember all the things I was keyed up about last night but none of it seemed important this morning at 7:00. Why? Why do I do this? I feel totally wide awake but I must not be in my right mind because otherwise things wouldn't seem like such big problems. I almost need someone to shake me and say, "What are you doing? Go to sleep!"

I bet I ground my teeth down several centimeters last night. Hate that.

All that wasted worrying when today I have actually accomplished a lot! I don't have to cook supper tonight as we are celebrating  my husband's and dad's birthdays tonight. That gives me like, an extra hour and a half to my day!

So, does anyone else wake up freaking out sometimes? And yes, I prayed. A lot. And I did fall back asleep. Several times. Sigh. I decided after S left for work the best move I could possibly make was to go back to bed.

It's like that Robert Frost poem:

Two choices stood before me in the morning
And I---I chose the one less vertical.
And that has made all the difference.

Weekend Trivia

Did you know.....

...that when someone with Tourette's suppresses their tics all day that they come out in a firestorm at the end of the day?

....that maybe the only way to get that to stop is to get in the car and drive around at 10:00pm?

....that Little Bit and I counted 37 flags on our drive?

...that I found out an Epsom salt bath can help with tics? (haven't tried it yet)

....that some of the smartest people on earth are those who are dealing with health problems and disabilities and have researched and learned things for themselves? (parents on forums = smart!)

...that my husband turned 41 yesterday?

...that diabetic chocolate cupcakes are pretty tasty?

...that we got almost every room in the house clean yesterday? (yes, some doors were still closed)

...that I'm not ready for Monday?

In the Parking Lot at Church

That's where Little Bit and I spent our time last night during Bible study. Part way into class she came over to me and whispered that she needed to scream. So we went outside where she could.

These vocal tics are new to us. To be diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, you must have motor tics and at least one vocal tic for a year. When she was diagnosed she probably only had one vocal tic---clearing her throat.

But this is something else entirely. She says words over and over again (oy-uh, cup, etc.) and then there is the screaming. So she screamed and said her words and we did all sorts of things to keep ourselves occupied in the parking lot. S came out to check on us and gave Little Bit a hug. She kept saying, "Sorry Mommy. Sorry you can't go to Bible class." She even told me I could go in and she would stay outside. I made sure she knew that it was no problem for me to sit with her outside.

I know if you have never dealt with TS you might be thinking, "Really?" Because I know it sounds so weird. You HAVE to? That doesn't even make sense! Just close your mouth and don't do it! You are in control of your body!

I know. I've thought the same thing. It's strange. But here is how Little Bit explained it to me. There is this tic she always "needs" to do that is physically impossible. It has to do with her knees. She told me the tic tells her to do it, and it travels down her body to her legs. Or, she said, if it's a "hand tic", it travels down her arm to her hand. I told her that makes sense if the tics come from her brain and the brain sends messages to the body. She agreed.

Then I told her she should write a book about Tourette's. She was very excited about that! She had many questions. She wants it published. Well OK then.

And last night I started researching ways to help with these vocal tics and stumbled on more information about vitamins and diet and supplements than my brain could even take in. Yikes. It'll be worse than learning about diabetes. But I know we can clean up our diet more and I will try that for sure. Even though we highly suspect the reason the tics have been bad this week has to do with Grandpa being in the hospital for 6 days.

The real thing we must do and do right now, is learn to cope with them. They are here. We still must live. So after a while in the parking lot, Little Bit told me she needed to visit the restroom. Just before we went in I said, "OK--one more time." and she screamed. Then we went in. She immediately clapped her hand over her mouth and walked to the restroom. When we were washing our hands though, she couldn't hold it in any longer (it's like when you need to sneeze). So I slapped a paper towel over her mouth and said, "Not too loud, OK?" And she screamed into the paper towel. Worked great. She took the paper towel from me and said, "Let me just keep that."

I noticed after church she was playing with her friends and their baby sister in the cry room and she would put the paper towel over her mouth and scream quietly ever so often. Awesome. And then on the way into the hospital to visit Grandpa she asked if the hospital would be a good place to do her tics or not. But it didn't matter. She climbed up into Grandpa's lap and they started to melt away. All was right.

And I guess now I will begin my research on cleaning up our diet. I may want to scream myself before I'm through.

Thursday

I have had the ironing board and pile of clothes to be ironed in the living room all week. There is not room for this in our living room, nor is it lovely. Maybe today will be the magical day I actually iron?

Today we are buying a bird for Little Bit. Well, 2 birds actually. She has wanted a bird for ever so long and we bought the cage over the weekend. Now to fill it. S told me to hurry up and get the birds because her tics have been bad. She's excited about the birds so her tics go crazy. Perhaps if we get the birds today, her tics can settle down?

I planned an ambitious end to our school year wherein we do every subject nearly every day. (What a concept!) But mixed in there are all the regular end-of-year interruptions like field trips and homeschool events and testing (the girls aren't testing but I'm helping administer) and a day at the zoo with Grandma and Grandpa. It's OK....spring is full of fun!

I have a green light and a budget and a time frame for purchasing next year's curriculum. And now I'm sick of thinking about it. Just knowing when I'll be ordering is enough to make me relax and think about something else. (Like maybe...ironing?)

We didn't go anywhere Monday or Tuesday so yesterday's errands were a welcome change of pace. I really like scheduling all (or most) of the errands for one day. It makes the other days more productive too. Fridays I like to use for cleaning so we don't have to do it on Saturdays. Anyone else clean on Fridays?

It's time to get the girls up and moving. I've already made my to-do list for the day so I'm ready to roll. I'll let you know how the birds and ironing work out.....

Got a new free rug last week and vacuumed it in the driveway. Just like a proper redneck.

Food and Frustration

I'm reading a book right now that I learned about from this post. I got it from the library and I've only read the first chapter but it was all about aspartame and the effects it had on some children when it first came out. (I'm looking forward to the chapter on breakfast foods as that affects our homeschool day greatly.)

So the fact that I'm reading that book is just background information. OK?

Little Bit's tics have been bad lately. Last Sunday evening at suppertime she started complaining. She always says the same thing, "I'm frus-ter-ated. My tics are bad." Then I tell her I haven't noticed her doing any tics. Then she explains that she has a lot of tics, but she's not doing them. Then I tell her to go ahead and do them and maybe she won't be so frust-er-ated. Then she says she doesn't like doing them.

We have that conversation a lot.

But this time she really complained. And she came and got me in the middle of Sunday evening Bible study to tell me they were bad. So I went into the room where she and Sweetheart were and talked with her and tickled her arm softly and let her play Smash Room on my phone and tried to do anything to make it better. But nothing was working.

Then she looked at me and said, "Mommy? Isn't there medicine I can take to make them go away?"

Oh my heart. Because there is. But we aren't even considering that a possibility. And I don't want to get to the point where it becomes one. That medicine is big and bad. It's not like administering Tylenol or Benadryl. It's the big guns. And she was very nearly crying.

So I slipped back into Bible study and wrote a note to S for them to pray for Little Bit. And they did. And everyone was concerned for her. My dad's answer was to sweep in when Bible study was over and take the girls to his house and feed them pancakes. He likes to DO something. And she was fine the rest of the night.

I liked it better when she was 4 and she did 372 tics a day but they didn't frustrate her at all.  Can we go back to that please?

Little Bit loves watermelon flavored gum. Sweetheart never chewed gum but Little Bit loves it. We got some today at Wal-Mart. It's sugar-free so everyone in the family can chew it. Later she said, "Mom? When I chew watermelon gum my tics are worse." I probed that a bit and she said she had noticed it before when she was chewing it. So of course I said, "Spit it out!"

Several hours later she tried another piece and immediately said, "Yep. They're worse." I told her to spit it out again. She was upset because she LIKES watermelon gum. I told her we could try another kind. It must be something in this kind of gum. So I look at the ingredients.

Aspartame. I'm not saying that's it, but there it is right on the label and I JUST read that chapter.

But don't let me get all scientific on you because at supper tonight she was eating chicken spaghetti which is easily her favorite meal on earth and she said, "Mom...chicken spaghetti makes my tics better."

Sure it does. I bet ice cream does too dear.

Earlier in the week she was jumping on a mini-trampoline at my parent's house. It seemed to help her frustration so we borrowed it. She jumped so much her back has hurt ever since. Sometimes a change of scenery helps. Sometimes I get her busy helping me with something. Anything to get her mind off the stupid tics. The only other thing I know to try is humor. So when she complained about her new "oy uh" tic (she has to repeatedly say "oy uh"), we made it into a song. It worked really well with Old MacDonald. And Jingle Bells. She giggled so that's good.

I've never read where food causes tics to be worse, but you better believe I'll be reading up on it.

'Cause I'm running out of strategies really fast.

From Where I Sit

The books are straightened. The pencils are found and sharpened. The crayons are picked up from the floor. The rug is vacuumed. The white board has been cleaned. The lessons have been planned.

The order has been restored.

We also changed seats in our homeschool room. I didn't want to rearrange, but changing seats is a nice...change. Now, I will be sitting across from Sweetheart and still beside Little Bit. That SHOULD work as Sweetheart is in 5th grade, but we'll see.

I made a word wall also and it's lovely. Now Little Bit can find her sight words better and hopefully learn them easier. And in my new seat, I can utilize my awesome organizational thingy that Sister gave me over the summer to keep my teacher's books in. Heavenly. Perhaps I won't constantly have a stack a mile tall under my elbow?

See my cool see-through organizational thingy?

Anyway, we only have 1 1/2 weeks until Thanksgiving break. I think I can do that.

On another note, Little Bit celebrated her 7th birthday this weekend. I cannot believe my baby is 7! I haven't even uploaded the pictures yet as I need batteries for the camera. I was stealing batteries from remotes during the party so I would have enough battery juice to make it through the party. Anyone been there?

This year was MUCH better as last year for her birthday she got the flu. And this was the first "friend party" Little Bit has ever had. I couldnt' sleep Saturday night for thinking back over the day and being so happy about how it all went. It was a good, good day.

But her tics! Oh dear. They have been really, really bad today. She pretty much spent the better part of the afternoon complaining about them.

"I'm frust-er-ated."
"I hate my tics."
"Make them go away!"
"I have tics right now, but I'm not doing them."

That last one, I think, is her attempt to control the Tourette's. I don't really think self-control will make all the difference, but she seems determined to beat them. Anyway, it's been a frustrating day on that point. It's very trying for her sister as well, who tries to be patient while she is patted on the head, or her head, nose, and lips are touched in order, or her wrist gets squeezed. Tics ON someone else are harder to deal with. How much do I ask Sweetheart to endure? And yet? She needs to be patient about it because Little Bit really can't help it.

Tomorrow is a clean, shiny new day. I'm hoping everything will be in better order then.