In Which the Ages are Getting to Me

I'll tell you, there are SO many blessings of having kids ranging in age from 3 to 16. BUT.....sometimes it is not so good. The 12 year old and the 3 year old have especially been grating on my nerves lately. I truly understand how mothers used to say in olden times that their nerves were rattled. When I read about mothers whose nerves were rattled in old books I always think, "what a wienie." Like women who used to have to go lie down whenever something stressful happened. Please.

But as I'm typing this, the very energetic 3 year old who never stops ever not even for a nap is pelting me with wads of stuffing. They are "snowballs". About the 5th one that hit me in the face started me to twitching. Oh she rattles my nerves some days. She just has so much energy and needs so much attention and we just can't. The big girls are doing school. I'm doing school with them. Or I have to pay a bill. Or I'm trying to switch the laundry. Or I'm trying to load the dishwasher. I mean, I have played with her today. She will need more of that because she doesn't have a sibling close in age. I wish sometimes she did! I know I will need to play with her more but it's never enough. She never wants me to stop. So I have guilt about her needs.

Little Bee in the dentist chair yesterday.

And the 12 year old has issues. I mean, some things truly bother her. Today Bee was putting her hand on Little Bit's jeans. And it was making her crazy because she said Bee's fingernails were kind of scratching her jeans and it was giving her goosebumps. See? Issues. Those kind of things she cannot overlook and get over. So there is a constant balance between asking Little Bit to put up with something (I mean, Bee was leaning over on her while she fixed her show--she wasn't exactly doing anything wrong) and getting onto Bee because I know Little Bit has reached her breaking point. It's a hard balance.

Bee, Me, and Little Bit. So pretty.

And Little Bit needs things perfect. And just so. And Bee is anything but "just so." She is like a tiny Tasmanian Devil. A whirl of words and motion and movement and constant doing things. And Little Bit wants to direct her and tell her no. And tell her to watch out. And tell her to stop. And it's going to be the death of me. Of course Bee reacts to bossy sister by doing the annoying thing more.

Sigh. Hard balance.

Good news? Sweetheart got her learner's permit today! Which means I did the paperwork right! It was a huge job gathering every little thing and I'm so thankful they accepted what I had brought. Facebook friends were very helpful with the advice.

When we left the DPS office I handed the keys to Sweetheart and told her to act like she was driving home. We did it just to watch Little Bit's face. She panicked. She doesn't want to ride with Sweetheart "until she's a professional." Her words. Can't blame her. I sure wish my van had a brake on the passenger's side.

As we were at story time today before the DPS office, I was watching a mom with a newborn and a little 3 year old boy. How different her world than the one where you have a 3 year old and a driver.

Hmm.

Love them all three.

Even when Mama's nerves are rattled.

In Which Spring Break is the Middle (for some)

Well, since we got such a late start on our school year (Dad in the hospital most all summer, his funeral, recovery from that) and started after Labor Day, we are JUST NOW half-way through with the school year. Well, Little Bit is anyway. She would be a little further but we accomplished exactly one week of school before her tics reared their ugly head.

We went to a psychologist for the first time for her a few weeks ago. She's seen a neurologist twice, but the neurologist heard she had been dealing with anxiety and said the psychologist could help with that as well as the Tourette Syndrome. I was very unimpressed with the clinic, but the doctor herself was great. She said she would give grief at least a year before she would worry about treating the anxiety (which has since gone away) so that was reassuring.

Climbing on the rhino that sticks out of the building at the zoo.

The other good news is Little Bit will being doing some training this summer to learn a method which the name escapes me right now but basically it is learning to re-train the brain to ignore the tics. She said we will have to go to about 6 sessions, with homework and then we should be good. That is good news as well.

While we were at the psychologist's office, we got into a brief discussion about Sweetheart and her ADD. We had tried meds last year but they didn't work. I was telling the doctor how the doc who prescribed the meds wouldn't put her on a stimulant due to her sister having TS. She said that was ridiculous and she absolutely could have stimulants. So....to medicate or not to medicate?

OK, maybe Sweetheart can help Little Bit.

Well, earlier this week Sweetheart was going to make mac-n-cheese to go with our supper. She messed up and put the milk, butter, and noodles all in the boiling water. OK. Read the directions, slow down and think about what you are doing. Certainly not her first time to make mac-n-cheese! Then she messed it up again! That's two boxes of food down the drain if you are keeping count. The next day she messed up something else she was cooking. I made it for her the next time. That's five boxes of food we went through for 2 side dishes. She's 16 and she's pretty comfortable in the kitchen. She can make a lot of things. This really concerned me. For goodness sake one day this child may need to feed herself! If she can't even concentrate long enough to make something as simple as noodles, that's a problem! Not to mention how behind in school she is or how long it takes her to get something done. Not to mention her room.

SERIOUSLY I'm not going to mention those things!!!!!

They aren't good for my blood pressure.

Hang on, Bee. You seem to be backwards.

For now I shall concentrate on the fact that my 6th grader is half-way through with school. And I will rejoice in that.
We're gonna give "year round school" a whole new meaning this year, that's for sure.

Whew. There were about 25 other pictures in this series. They crack me up.

Apparently We Are Collecting Diagnoses

Well. I was getting on here today to catch you up on Little Bit a uh...little bit. (Sorry). She's 11 1/2 and Facebook just showed me that 6 years ago it was her first day of Kindergarten and she looked like this:

This last year was 5th grade for her and we had quite a year with her too. In the past she has had problems with convergence insufficiency. If you don't know what that is, it's OK. I didn't either at first. It means when her eyes looked at something and each eye took a "picture" of that object, the two pictures didn't converge completely, causing her to see double. As you can guess, this doesn't help with reading. It causes headaches and lots of other problems. As her books got smaller and smaller font, it became more of a problem. We actually only found out what the deal was because my dad mentioned he saw double and Little Bit piped up with, "Me too!" 

News to us! Anyway, we did home therapy using a computer program in the spring of 4th grade and she graduated from that and all was well. 

We had a vision therapy party when she finished.
I had a lot of fun planning it!

Until it wasn't. She started having troubles with her eyes and daily headaches again this year. We went back to the same doctor's office, but a different doctor. He is an older gentleman and has seen his fair share of bad vision. He was truly amazed by how poor her convergence was. He had us come back many times and was genuinely concerned. He kept working with us until we got it back on track though. In the end she had to restart and completely re-do the computer program, in addition to adding reading glasses with prisms. But now she doesn't have daily headaches and can work without pain. 

Of course Tourette Syndrome lives on at our house. Sometimes it was hard to tell if her vision was causing frustration, or her tics. Either way it means I spend a lot of time working with her one on one and that is not good for Sweetheart, who gets off task when the wind blows. 

Towards the end of the year she was having real fits during work, especially math. Crying, screaming, carrying on. SO frustrated. I was hoping she just needed a break for the summer. But then a couple of days ago she had a similar fit while working on some Bible memory stuff for church. Oh dear. I'm not ready for next year if this is how it's going to be. So I posted some questions in some groups I'm in on Facebook and it all snowballed into me messaging our former preacher's wife, who is a dyslexia tutor. She sent me some videos and information and now I am sure, where before I was only suspicious, that we are dealing with dyslexia as well. Very sure. Which of course changes most of the curriculum choices I had already made for next year. And has sent me off on a flurry of research. 

Aww...matchy sisters...

We really didn't NEED another diagnosis. But it's OK. We've been dealing with it all along even when I wasn't sure. 

She is such an awesome kid. She and I did the grocery shopping on Sunday and I realized part-way through that I thoroughly enjoy spending time with her! She's funny and has good ideas and is very responsible. But school....oh school. I'm not ready for ya!

In Which the Lord Comes Through for Us

Let me just go ahead and tell you: today was a very successful potty training day. That is all you need to know. And maybe that's why I felt like getting on here and blowing the dust off of the old blog. Oh, I've had SO much to say. 

So. Much.

But....3 year olds, and potty training, and ADD, and high school, and Tourette Syndrome, and vision problems and deaths in the family and lots of other things I'll catch you up on later....have prevented me from feeling like I had the time or brain cells necessary for blogging. Not like I used to. 

I really like writing here. 

It's good to be writing tonight. 

Tonight S is fishing. All three girls are asleep and the house is quiet. I've been despairing for weeks of how we will ever have the money we need for this school year to happen. Deep down I know the answer is just "trust God", but my very practical side wonders how? How will God work this out?

All day I've been writing down recent blessings that have come our way. I can't believe how long the list is. God is truly amazing. Some people might say we have just been lucky, or things have just worked out by coincidence, but I know better. I know that "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." 

I'll just share a few things God has done for this broke family in the last week:
*a small refund
*a free shirt for Sweetheart (back to school clothes!)
*a box of large sheets of paper was given to us that we will be using for a future venture
*some folks from our homeschool group decided to bless our family by giving us, not selling us, their microscope they were finished with
*my used curriculum sold 
*some other unexpected money 

Crazy, right? We will make it to next payday and we will even be able to buy some of our curriculum. Why should I even concern myself with HOW we will buy the rest? Obviously the Lord knows our needs. 

Which makes me even more committed to well....committing this school year, this homeschool of ours, to Him. Last year, to quote Annie, was "just plain awful." Sweetheart and I especially had a really bad  year in 9th grade. This high school thing kicked our butt and won. But we learned a lot and we are not giving up! School is not easy for my children. I have finally come to terms with that. I see other people studying things far above our capabilities and I wonder why we can't even seem to get the "normal" stuff done. But as S pointed out to me recently, "Our homeschool will never look like other people's. We have a lot going on here." He's right, you know. I don't consider Little Bit to be "special needs" but actually she is.  Add to that Sweetheart's failed ADD meds attempt, and various other challenges and school can be just plain hard. 

But I know that we are the best ones to educate our children. I think my focus just got all skewed worrying about transcripts and college and credits and what the world says we are "supposed to" be doing with our girls' schooling. 

Forget all that. I'm changing our focus. I can't totally throw out the high school graduation requirements, but they don't have to be at the center of our decisions. The Lord should be there. I'll fill you in later how I'm making sure that happens this year. 

Ah...it's good to be back here. A new background, some updated pics of the girls and their correct ages....now...who is going to read this thing? :) Oh well. It feels good to write anyway!! 

Until tomorrow, 

Brenda

You Can't Make Me Pay!

So Little Bit has been invited to go watch the new American Girl movie next week. This movie is about the girl of the year--Isabelle--of which Little Bit happens to own the doll. So, it's pretty cool to take your American Girl doll to the movie with you. Doubly cool if your doll is IN the movie! I know Little Bit would really, really like the outfit for girls that matches the doll but, you see, I'm not independently wealthy.

My word the amount that company charges. She was helping me clean out paperwork yesterday (yes, she enjoys that stuff) and we ran across the receipt for Isabelle. She said she wanted to keep it. I told her, "Yes, keep it so you can show your daughters how cheaply you got your doll! They will say, 'No fair Mom! American Girls cost $500 now!'" She cracked up.

Anyway, Mama is not dumb. I have a plan to make Little Bit an outfit that matches her Isabelle. I will share it with you when I'm done. It's going to be awesome.

We have had a pretty busy summer. For the first time ever, I signed the girls up for classes in a nearby town at their rec center. Sweetheart was supposed to take a self-defense class and her friend signed up with her. I was going to count all the hours (10 classes!) towards high school P.E. credit but, she and her friend were the only ones who signed up. Needless to say the class was cancelled.

But Little Bit's "Mini Gourmet" class was great! It lasted 4 mornings and she took it with 2 friends.

She learned to cook quite a few things and even got to help cook one of her meals for everyone at our church a few weeks later. She was very proud. 

Then last week, Little Bit attended VBS in another nearby city. She enjoyed it. I can't get over how brave she has become--this child who wouldn't talk to anyone outside of our home for years. She didn't know anyone at the VBS but just marched on in every day and had a good time. 

The last day of VBS happened to be Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-Fil-A. I promised her we would NOT come in and pick her up from VBS dressed as cows. So, we had our black and white on and then had to do a lot of shuffling around in the van. But we made it and had a completely free lunch for four. 

Mama has no pride. I wanted Free food! I did not wear the ears the whole time.

We also had cow toes but I'll spare you the pics of feet. I hate feet pics. 

And that reminds me that I need to remove said cow nail polish before lunch today. S and I are going to go eat to celebrate 21 years of marriage. And something tells me he'd rather not dine with a bovine wife. 

Because we're classy like that. 

I'm Either a Really Great Crafter or a Great Pinner

Can't take credit for any of the ideas. Every single one was either inspired or copied straight off of Pinterest! How I love Pinterest! In the olden days I would have had to flip through old magazines for inspiration.

Wow there's a lot of pink in this post.

Baby Bee loved passing out Valentines. And getting candy.

Bee's shirt was just 2 hearts put on with Wonder Under. And some heart pants we got somewhere. 

Of course a bird shirt for Little Bit. She loves birds. 

Little Bit's balloon was fragile and fell apart during the party. But it worked well. 

She made her own shirt. It's very light and subtle but it was just a doily used as a stencil. 

Sweetheart's box won a prize. A few years ago she was absolutely heart broken when another robot box beat hers out. She was excited to win yesterday (and to eat the pretzel she got from the snack bar!) but it amazed me the difference in her reaction compared to a few years ago. Sometimes maturing happens very gradually and we don't always notice it's been going on!

We had a great time at the party and no one broke any bones. Success!!

Now tonight we are going to have a special dinner on our china and celebrate Valentine's Day together as a family. I think that's fun. I wish more people just celebrated together instead of making it strictly about couples. It hurts a lot of people.

Having said that, S and I do plan to do something special together. Just not tonight. Restaurants are going to be really crowded tonight! Date nights are important and time as a couple is important too.

Off to wrap up the school week, get the grocery shopping done, and finish cleaning up the house for our special dinner! Busy day!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Valentine Boxes

I made sure to take pictures of our Valentine boxes this year but then realized I didn't take any with the girls holding their box.

And THAT'S what I want to remember. How they looked and how proud they were of their box! So I will take those before we leave for our skating party today. But here they are:

Little Bit's Lalaloopsy hot air balloon. Got the basket from Grandma. Bought the doilies and washi tape and balloon but some of those things served double duty for the shirts we made. 

Of course this one is Baby Bee's! Made from a cereal box wrapped in upside down Christmas wrapping paper, painted, construction paper, duct tape. Free.

Sweetheart's cupcake. Bought a paint bucket for $2 at the hardware store. Used a balloon we bought for Little Bit's box and bought tissue paper. Not too bad.

All boxes inspired or copied straight from Pinterest. Thank you Pinterest! They also worked hard on their Valentines. Bee painted 6 pieces of paper and I printed the To and From on top of the painting and cut each sheet up into 9 cards. 

Working hard!!!

Dollar store stickers add the finishing touch. Total cost: $1

And Little Bit opted to do part store-bought and part homemade.

And Sweetheart made all hers from an idea in her American Girl magazine. Will have to get a picture of hers later.

I'm very proud of all the girls for their hard work! And we made Valentine shirts! I'll get pics of those later too!

These Things Were More Fun When I Was Little

Whew! The girls had their first choir concert last night. Due to losing our first venue, we had to have the rehearsal and concert all on one night. This resulted in a crazy schedule of keeping up with who needed to be in the auditorium at what time and getting them dressed in the bathroom at certain times and feeding them in between all of that. Goodness. All while keeping up with this little one who ran around for 4 hours before the concert started.

One of the finer moments was me sitting in a chair in the handicapped stall trying to put on my tights and trying to hurry because I knew our friend would need the handicapped stall in a minute....Little Bit was body blocking Bee from playing in the toilet. Bee is yelling, "Go 'way! go 'way!" to Little Bit and then she just dropped her arms down by her sides, threw her head back and screamed the most ear piercing scream ever.

After apologizing to everyone in the restroom, we got done and out of there. But the good news is she behaved very nicely during the concert.

 Little Bit, middle...

Sweetheart, top middle...(unedited pics. Sorry)

So I am very proud of them, etc. But more than that, I am relieved its over! What a lot of stress for a Mama! So many logistics to consider. Being a kid is much easier.

We got home well after 10pm so everyone is sleeping in today. After that, and pancakes, Sweetheart and I will be going to her first physical therapy appointment. School will happen in bits and pieces again today.

And Saturday we are going to see the Texas Tourette Association's Christmas Tree featuring an ornament by Little Bit. She's going to be so proud.

Have a great weekend!

The House o' Therapy

S and I thought it might be fun to drop a bunch of dough on doctor's visits in 2 days' time last week. Whee!!! We know how to party.

So, Bee had an ear infection--$25 copay
Sweetheart needed her back looked at as we were concerned about the curve of it--$25 copay.
Sweetheart was sent to have x-rays of back--can't actually remember but I think we spent money there too.
Little Bit went to an opthamologist because we found out she has double vision--$50 copay.
Sweetheart went to an orthopedic surgeon to look at back--$50 copay.

So the bottom line is this:

Bee got some antiobiotics. It's only her 2nd ear infection of her life so I wasn't upset about that. Problem solved. $10.00

Little Bit has convergence insufficiency. That means her eyes are not playing nice and working as a team. So when she does any "near work" her eyes take turns wandering outside of where they should be. You can't really see it happening, but it is. This explains the headaches, the crying, the frustration, the rubbing eyes, and all the trauma we've had in school this year.

I went back and looked at her last year's work and I could not believe the difference in font size between the two math books, the two phonics books, etc. Her reading books obviously are smaller as she's reading chapter books now. No wonder this problem has come up this year. (Alhtough she's always struggled in school. I can't imagine double vision + tics were helping.)

She says she's always seen double as long as she can remember. We found all this out during a conversation with my dad. We had Little Bit screened for Irlen Syndrome, we took her to the optometrist and her gave her reading glasses----nothing was helping. Then my dad told the story of when he used to get headaches and got some reading glasses as a young man in the Air Force. He descirbed how he sees double--Little Bit pipes up from the backseat, "That's how I see too!"

Um...what??? Good to know! So we dropped $64.00 on a computer program we can use here at home. She's to do the program, which will be her vision therapy, for 7 minutes a day, 5 days a week. It will take her a few months to complete the program and hopefully, this will fix her eyes. Oh I certainly hope so!! I could really go for school being easier. I was losing my mind before Thanksgiving break.

We are also using a homemade slant board for school for now. There is a really nice one for $30 online, but that can wait until after Christmas.

As for Sweetheart, she has a diagnosis of scoliosis and kyphosis. If you haven't heard of it, kyphosis is when the spine curves too much from the side view, causing a "humpback" look. We've been concerned about her back for about a year. We tried doing some different stretches, because I noticed her hamstrings are incredibly tight. She literally can not sit up straight on the floor with her legs out in front. She also could not do the stretches. We've nagged her about her posture for a really long time, and her walking posture has improved. But then we'll see a photograph of her sitting or bending over and it looks just awful. A friend of hers was diagnosed with kyphosis recently and when I found that out, I hit the internet. Oh....NOW I knew what exactly our concern was. It can be caused from poor posture, or a progressive disease called Scheurmann's disease. She has the latter. Some of the vertebrae in her back are wedge-shaped. So, she was relieved to find out it wasn't her fault. The good news is no surgery or brace neeeded. She's to do physical therapy for 6 months and come back for an x-ray. Physical therapy 2x a week for 4 weeks (or until she learns the exercises). I was going to take her to all eight sessions because I figure she'll do better with a professional watching her than she will at home, but at $25 a pop, we'll see...

We are also considering a gym membership for her so she can just generally strengthen her muscles, which will be needed to combat this disease. She doesn't have any gym clothes to wear to physical therapy or a gym.

Are you sensing a theme of concern by me? I KNOW I shouldn't be worried about money when my children's health is at stake. And really, the most important thing to me is that they are OK. I was relieved to have both diagnoses and a plan of action for both girls. BIG load off my mind. I've had enough time now to consider the cost of everything though. Ouch.

So, I'm hoping Bee doesn't feel left out, being the only child with no therapy going on at the moment. We're good, Bee. No, really.

Have You Seen That e-card....

...that says,

"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."

Yep. That would feel like my Friday. Only I'm truly not procrastinating school....its just that there were so many other pressing things first.

Like, we needed toiletries.

And groceries.

And to get the van washed.

And Sweetheart had a mandate from her Daddy about the state of her room by the end of today.

And then while I was trying to get Bee to sleep for nap time, Little Bit did this:

And when she wakes up, she has to work on an ornament for the Tourette's Association of Texas Christmas tree. I need to mail it tomorrow.

And so, (how many times do you think I can start a sentence with "and"?), in all of that, I managed to read 2 chapters to Sweetheart for her read-aloud and Little Bit did Explode the Code and Math. Oh, and we ate lunch and I changed 2 diapers.

School is clearly pretty low down on the list today.

Which stresses me out, but really....us having toilet paper and food to eat are really, really important.

What remains to be seen is the age old question:

Will Mama make them do school on the weekend?

or

Will Mama just roll it all over to next week?

Tune in next week to find out!!

(Even I don't know the answer yet!)

These Three

Oh the age gaps. They are interesting.

Having a 14 year old, a 10 year old, and a 1 year old all at the same time is mostly really cool. The big sisters adore that baby. And they are really, truly helpful. Not like, "Can you get Mommy a diaper?" useful....I mean, I can shower uninterrupted and not worry. They've got it. They will handle whatever unless it's an especially bad diaper. Even then they wouldn't mind if they knew she would just lay there and let them change her. But she will not.

They play with her. They teach her things. And they love on her all the time.

And they still have a great relationship with each other. There are only 1 or 2 things they still play together, those older two. But they still have a great time with those two things. It was just the two of them as sisters for 8 years and that will always be special.

But I love watching their relationship with the littlest sister grow as well.

Not that everything always is perfect or smooth in their relationships. I don't want to let you think that. But really, I feel so blessed that these three have each other. I think the space between them makes our family a little unique and it's fun watching them learn from each other and help each other. 

Now as far as school time goes, the age gaps are not that helpful. If you don't have children and you know you are going to homeschool, I highly suggest having your kids close enough together that you can do at least a few subjects together. It would help, it really would. 

And as far as the tiny tornado being helpful during the school day? She's not. At all. But man are my older girls learning to prioritize and deal with interruptions! Good skills people. Good skills. 

Keepers End of Year Ceremony

We wrapped up our Keepers at Home club this year by giving the girls all the badges they had earned throughout the year. They earned a lot! We invited grandparents and let them know how proud we were of them all.

Little Bit and Sweetheart posing by the display table. We had the girls' scrapbooks to share.

Carrie made programs. We are very official.

Grandma looking at things with Sweetheart.

We took turns giving little talks to explain some of the activities they had done this year.

Then, they got their badges!

Very proud of these girls!
Emily--10, Little Bit--9, Sweetheart--13, and Kate--14

My parents with Bee.

Matt got a very special award. :) As the only brother who attended every meeting of a girls' club, he was VERY helpful with Bee this year!