Wanna Know Why I Didn't Post Yesterday?

Because I was very near comatose. I was so exhausted after 2 nights of waking up at 3am for the day that I fell asleep last night the minute we walked in the door from church. I literally walked to the bedroom, changed clothes, and crawled in bed. It was 8:30pm. So sad. I was so tired I actually felt kind of sick.

But, after 9 hours of sleep---I am a new woman!

Good thing too because this house is falling down around my ears. It's picked up. At least we've kept up with that end. But we have NO groceries, precious few clean clothes, and it's getting old. Today: must actually switch the laundry and get it all the way clean and dry and delivered and must procure food for my family. You know, the basics?

But I have another reason I am glad I slept. Sweetheart and I have a shopping date today. Girlfriend has outgrown just about everything but specifically she needs dresses to wear to church. I've been looking up size charts for various stores and she's all over the place. Best I can tell, it's going to be a toss up between sizes 14-18 in the girls' department and sizes 0-1 in the juniors department. There's really no way to know until we try stuff on.

My main concern is finding dresses that are an appropriate length. Can I get an Amen? Sigh. My other concern is not spending an arm and a leg. The plan is to start at Goodwill and work our way up (Wal-Mart,  Old Navy, Kohl's...). We'll see what we can find for cheap and then move on if we have to.

Oh yeah, and we have some school to do too. But I think food and clothing is more important today.

Signed,

Still not adjusted to Daylight Savings Time

All the New Products

I got the best thing in the mail a few weeks ago! It's hanging in baby's closet right now. I can't wait to use it.

This is one of the cool things about the 8 1/2 year gap between children--there are all these products out there that we didn't have last time!

So since Little Bit was born, I have seen all the cute nursing covers out there. I wanted one if I ever had another child. Little Bit was born in November and let's just say I did my fair share of public nursing because Christmas shopping, it had to happen! I'm all about nursing in public. If your child is hungry--feed them!! But I'm also a Christian, so I'm all about modesty.

My friend Rachel from The Other Huse, sent me this awesome package in the mail:

It's from her Etsy shop Shut the Front Door.

When I opened it, I saw the beautiful fabric she had let me pick out earlier.

Isn't it beautiful? I wanted something pretty and grown up looking. Not fabric that screamed "HEY LOOK! I'M NURSING OVER HERE! SEE THE BABY FABRIC MY NURSING COVER IS MADE OF?"

You understand. And I told her I wanted greens. But then I saw this one and fell in love. It was also important it not be black or dark because summer + Texas + nursing under black nursing cover = sweat. Lots of it.

It's the kind of nursing cover with the boning at the top so you can see baby. Like this one:

Picture source: totally swiped from Rachel's blog

Wait! I haven't even told you the best part! Rachel and her friend who run the Etsy shop are Army wives. Are you ready for the name of my awesome nursing cover?

Mammo Camo

Oh come on! That is hilarious!!

Speaking of camouflage...there is one other thing I would like before baby comes. Maybe after our income tax refund?

Modest Middles.  I know I have the nursing cover, but even for just around the house, it would be nice to not have the squishy middle parts of me hanging out for everyone to admire. Right? These make it so you can wear pretty much any shirt.

Also I have been VERY productive this week! Can't wait to share pictures with your tomorrow!

Spring Ain't the Only Thing in the Air!

So it's prom time. And banquet time. And formal time. And springdance/endofschoolyear/whatever time.

What I'm saying is, a lot of people are posting pictures on Facebook of young ladies dressed up for these events. Lovely, beautiful young ladies all fancied up.

I have yet to see a dress that I would let my children wear.

They are ALL too short. All of them. I feel like such an old person when I say that. I understand that is what is being sold in the stores right now. I really do. I've been shopping.

I also know what the Bible says about modesty.

You know...side note here...I've thought about this a lot lately. The real definition of modesty is not "covering one's skin" but "not seeking to draw attention to one's self." Some folks dress SO completely different than the rest of the world that they truly are drawing more attention to themselves by their dress. I know that isn't really their intention, but I think their plan is not working. Of course, that doesnt' mean you should wear what everyone else is wearing so you will blend in. No. It doesn't mean that. But neither should we seek to look NOTHING like the rest of the people we are around.

There is a middle ground. Not a compromise....but a middle ground.

There has to be a way to be modest (cover what needs to be covered) while not making yourself look like you came from some other time period. I like this website because they show how you can alter dresses you buy at the store...sometimes very easily. I saw a poor girl at a restaurant this weekend who could have used some of these tricks. I was embarrassed just looking at her.

Of course, this website doesn't have solutions for the current hemlines. I certainly hope they start going back down soon. Are you kidding me? I haven't seen stuff this bad at least! Here's one a little more mainstream. Still not working for me. Have you seen this stuff where you live? These dresses are way too short!

Man, I'm old.

But thanks to the Internet, I believe we can dress for different occasions and still maintain our modesty. It may take more effort and more money...but I think it's worth it. We got our swimsuits in the mail today and I couldn't be more pleased with them. I prayed about finding swimsuits, y'all. I really did. I wanted to honor God and I wanted to swim and have fun this summer. And I wanted my girls to not feel like freaks on the beach. We got these. Mine is SO comfortable.

I wish modesty didn't take so much effort, but it seems that it does. Have you taught your daughters what modesty means AND why we should be modest AND how to go about that? It's a lesson they must learn while they are in our homes. I just might have to interview mine and see what their answers are. I may still have some work to do myself.

Casually Feminine: Shirts, Tops, and Blouses

You should not listen to anything I have to say. I just saw pictures my mom took around Easter and I looked so humongously fat in every single one. I thought I had on good, flattering shirts, but apparently I was sadly, sorely mistaken.

That's it. I'm sticking with black every single day of the week. I tried color and it was not good.

For those of you who look better in shirts than I do, you should try layering. Oh I love layers. I don't have nearly enough layering stuff. Here are some great under layers. They help with everything. Cleavage? Covered. Shirt ride-up? Taken care of. Rolls of fat? Held in place. I'm telling you, layering is the way to go.

I don't think I have worn a button up shirt since I had children. Buttons always seem to tug and gape. There was an unfortunate incident with a pretty shirt from Dress Barn and S's Christmas work party and the guy on my left but we won't go into that.

Which reminds me.....get good bras!!! I'm preaching to myself here too. I did go get new ones last year and used Oprah's bra sizing guidelines. It's time to go again though. I would love to have a professional fitting. Well, let me re-phrase that. I would love to have a professionally fitted bra and look all slimmer and younger. I am slightly horrified at the thought of the fitting though.

Two more things come to mind and I feel like such a hypocrite even sharing this stuff. It just goes to show I KNOW what should be done, but fail miserably when I do it. I really need Stacy and Clinton to come running in the store and slap stuff out of my hand. Or some of you girlfriends to come shopping with me.

OK the first thing is: find out what colors look good on you. Secondly, get a neckline that flatters you.

I think shirts are where modestly falls all to pieces for some ladies. A full length mirror is important. I don't wear sleeveless shirts, but it's important to check if the person beside you can see all the way through your armhole or not. Then there's cleavage.....transparent fabric....too short shirts...the list goes on and on.

And most of all, forbid photographs being taken around you when you are wearing a bright turquoise shirt.

OK, your turn. Teach me the right way ladies!

Casually Feminine: Hairs the Deal

OK, now that we've got ourselves thinking about what we sleep in so our dear husbands see loveliness first thing in the morning....it made sense to start at the top.

The head. The hair on our head. I have long hair and I'm working on my daughters having long hair as well. Little Bit, bless her heart doesn't have much hair. Never has. Sweetheart has kind of half-curly/half-straight hair which translates to "poof head" or sometimes "feral child."

I've written about my reasons for keeping long hair here. No matter the length of your hair, (Little Bit decidedly does not have "long" hair yet even at the age of 6) I think it is important for it to look feminine. That will be different for different races and cultures. "Feminine" to Scotch-Irish American stick-straight-hair me might be completely different than for another lady. That's why I think it is imprtant to remember that feminine is the opposite of masculine. When you can't tell the difference between man and woman.....that's not right.

So, I'm a big fan of the clip. It's my grown-up version of the pony tail. Husband prefers my hair pulled back in a low ponytail. I prefer it down to sleep even though sometimes it seems to take over and I get all tangled up. I wish I could braid my own hair really well but my arms don't seem to want to do that.

Really, a personal hairdresser would be nice.

I don't color my hair and hope that I never decide to. I figure this is the color God wanted me to have. I very rarely go get it cut and I do almost nothing to it except on Sunday mornings I blow dry the front and top to help things along.

I've had my hair VERY short before. In fact, I would dare say that my hair has been short for far more of my life than it has been long. When I was growing up (FIRL can attest to this) I had short hair and I looked like a boy. Ug. Didn't dress much like a girl either except to church.

I don't fuss with my girls' hair much unless we are going somewhere. Sweetheart has pretty much outgrown bows in her hair, but I love these pony tail scarves I made for Christmas. I think the point is, do something. Fix it in some way or at least make sure it's clean and brushed. Every child's hair is so different I cannot tell you what you should do, but I do think we need to teach our girls that fixing their hair is a good thing. And on that note, I have a quote:

"...be not careless of the good looks that nature has given to you...untidiness and carelessness hide the beauty of kind deeds---but greatness of soul and nobility of heart hide homeliness of face...Take time to make yourself presentable, but do not use the time before your glass that should be given to loving service." --Mabel Hale in Beautiful Girlhood

Well said, Mabel. I guess to sum it up, our hair should not look like men's hair. We should strive for it to look neat and lovely, but not to the loss of more important things in life. I love to look at sites that show you how to do all these lovely updos, but remember, we are talking about being casually feminine and mostly, those hairdos don't fit into my daily life. (I'd still like that personal stylist to try them out on me though, ok?)

Whatever you do, I think we can all agree that all day bed-head is taking it a bit far. Right?


Now. Sigh. JulieMom thinks we need to discuss other hair. Unwanted facial hair. Hair in other places that our culture deems should be removed. I have 2 things to say about that.

1. The facial hair? Remove it for goodness sake. I don't want to know how. Pluck, shave, wax, whatever.

2. I'm all for shaving your legs and underarms, but remember: dressing modestly = far less concern about hair removal.

I just think women used to know this!

Your turn! Join in and share with us about your hair. Your woes, your successes, your thoughts.....how do you keep your hair casually feminine?

Compare and Contrast

I can't remember exactly how I stumbled on this message board online, but I did. The question that had been raised was, "Should a tween be allowed to wear a bikini?" Some of the answers shocked me. I guess I'm just not used to how some folks think.

Now before I get started here.....let me first say that I grew up wearing swimsuits (bikinis were not allowed at our house) and we were expected to put a shirt on over it when we were just walking around. That's what my mom taught us. It is my personal opinion that little girls swimsuits have gotten a bit too grown up looking and basic ones like my sisters and I wore are harder to find. BUT, over the last few years I have been convicted about the huge difference between modesty standards at the pool and modesty standards outside of the pool. If I won't let my daughters wear shorts that hit mid thigh or shorter, why would I let them walk around in a swimsuit that covers no thigh? If spaghetti straps are not modest for us on a normal day, why are they OK at the pool? Just some stuff I've been dealing with.

Now, on to the comments:

From a teen (or tween): Bikinis are totally fine, I've been wearing them since I was like six. As long as they DONT show a good portion of your b**bs/b*tt they're fine!

OK. I think that's a pretty standard argument. Even from a lot of Christians.

When you tell your daughter that you don't want her to wear a bikini , that is just showing that you don't trust her as much.

I wasn't aware that trust was the issue, but apparently this allowing or not allowing is very tied up in good/bad parenting. According to these experts anyway.

I'm 15 and I've been wearing a two piece since I was little. It's fine because if my mom wouldn't let me I'd go behind her back & it's easier just letting them.

I believe by not allowing your child to wear a bikini they are way more likely to go out behind your back and buy the skimpiest one they can find. My parents let me start wearing the tank top two piece bathing suits first and then when I was big enough to fit into a bikini I got one. It was not appropriate for rough housing but for just spending the day at the beach or sitting in a hot tub it was great. The more you shelter a kid the worse they will rebel. My friend who was not allowed to wear anything other than one piece bathing suits till she was 16 has ran away from home multiple times and now has s*xy pictures of herself on facebook....(she goes on to describe exactly what her friend is and is not wearing in said pictures)

I'm 11 and I've never owned a one piece! They are much more feminine and everyone will think your daughter's got a too strict mum, which she has, and tease her. If her friends are still in full piece they wont tease her but if they are in bikinis then let her wear them. It's just mean if you tell her she can't. Just make her try it on at the shop so you can see if it fits properly. Good luck with the bikini.

I'm thirteen years old..... I think its the right age for someone to start wearing a bikini. My mom or dad won't let me and it unfair because EVERYONE wears one (I only know 1 person who isn't allowed to wear them) it doesn't seem fair because if I'm at a swimming party it means bikinis for everyone and a 1 piece for me.............. AND THERE AREN'T ANY CUTE 1 PIECES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, so after that last comment I started feeling mom -guilt. I remember being 13 and the ONLY ONE ON THE ENTIRE PLANET not allowed to do something. My sister and I were totally convinced our parents were the meanest known life forms around. I don't want my daughters to feel that way......

And then finally Mr. Dude got on the message board and spoke a word of truth:

Wives ask your husband or some male --- you should never allow such sexualization - you just have no idea what men are thinking.

Thank you Mr. Dude. Someone needs to slap some reality into these folks. And I don't expect the tween crowd to get or believe what he just said. But he speaks the truth.

THEN, we get to hear from some of the moms. I only saved one comment. Brace yourself.

People are too high strung! I let my daughter wear a bikini! She is very stylish and the boys are all over her! Your daughter must not feel very comfortable with you, because you do not let her express herself! I let my daughter shave and she is 7! The guys @ her school think that she is so hot and she already has a boyfriend that is as free-willed as she is! So I suggest that you find a comfortable bikini for her age and let herself look hot on the beach!!!

And please don't think that woman is alone in her thinking. It may be extreme, but it's not that rare. As for the other parents, I think for a lot of them it will only be a matter of time before they cave. They will decide "well, OK at 16 she can wear one but certainly not at 13!" or "well, this one is OK you see because it doesn't show near as much as these other ones do" or "all her friends are wearing them and there really isn't anything you can find different in the stores." These girls will persist until they win the coveted prize of wearing the bikini.

Now, let's hear from someone else:

I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. 1 Timothy 2:9-10

Oh I'm not here to do a study on modesty, but there are many good ones out there if you haven't studied it. This is a great, quick little study.

And if you have never looked over the results of The Modesty Survey, PLEASE take time to do so. If you are the mother of girls, it is invaluable. If you are the mother of boys, it will help you to know what your sons are up against and how you can help them (you have no control over what others wear, but TV, magazines, etc. are within our control).

One more thing. I do not hold unbelievers to the standards of God's word. It is utter nonsense to them. However, God's word is clear about the standards of believers---and I think that includes the pool.