Life v. School

Schooling is a priority around here. I take my responsibility very seriously. But there are times when life is just too busy and other things are just more important.

Not that we drop school completely, but we let other things take priority.

Which is why I'm not going to get every single subject done this week. And maybe not next week. We'll see.

But we most assuredly ARE plugging along with school. Just not at 100%, that's all.

Some of the things going on?

• My uncle is in hospice care with terminal cancer. We suspect he will not live through this week. There will likely be a memorial service to attend very soon. 
• My dad has had these scary spells of confusion. We were really worried something was very wrong but the doctor seemed to think it was a UTI. Seems confusion is often the only symptom in elderly folks. BUT we've been waiting for blood work results since last Wednesday. So frustrating. Hoping it IS just a UTI and that he can get started on meds tomorrow. Mom has been afraid to leave him. 
• Assuming everything referenced above is OK, he will be starting a trial for his cancer. Prayers would be appreciated for both situations. 
• Our good, good friends are moving away this weekend. We're helping them how we can this week. And guess where they are moving? Pretty much in the path of the hurricane. 
• S will start preaching "full-time" this Sunday. I say full time in quotes because he will also have his regular full-time job. Two sermons a week plus one Wednesday night Bible study. Every week. 
• It's our month to clean the church building.

BUT. I always try to do what Philippians 4:6-7 says and present my requests with thankfulness. 

So, I am thankful for:

• My health. That I am home and well and able to care for my family.
• Baby Bee, Little Bit, and Sweetheart. I love them so much. 
• Our home, cars, my husband's income, food....we are so well provided for by our Heavenly Father. 
• That I've been married to my best friend for 19 years. 

When burdens seem heavy and there is so much going on you don't feel you can JUST focus on school....that's a good time to remember WHO you should be focused on anyway, right? 

In My Spare Time

Know what I like to do?

I love to look at pictures of other folk's homeschooling spaces. It inspires me. It makes me feel better. It makes me want to clean my shelves.

The girls LOVE looking at these too. I think they were vastly amazed a few years ago when I did a post on homeschool organization (that still gets LOTS of google hits so clearly we all need help here) and the pictures started rolling in. I think at that point in our homeschooling journey, they didnt' realize we weren't the only ones doing this. They love to see how other families are set up and what they have in their areas.

I get inspired by the organization of others. Seriously. Some folks are just genetically fixed and hard wired to know what to do with stuff.

Unlike me, who tends to just wander around and mumble and move piles and whimper a bit.

Have I ever told you how really disorganized I am? I mean, OBVIOUSLY I am since "disorganization" is a label tag on my posts! My sister and I shared a room growing up until she moved to college. We were like the Odd Couple. She just naturally labels and groups and stores neatly and I was constantly on my hands and knees looking for my other shoe. All my life I was "the messy one."

Now don't get started on the psychology of me living up to my name because yes, I'm sure there is truth to that and I have worked VERY HARD in my adult life to become an organized person. But it does. not. come. naturally. to me.

When I was a teacher, one summer I asked my sister to come to my school and help me. She's a teacher too but she had time to come and help. What I needed help with was my files. Paperwork is going to be the end of me. I swear if only I had a secretary, life would be golden. Sister and I spread my entire filing cabinet on the floor and she helped me categorize and label and file stuff. Best help anyone could have given me. YES. I was that lost.

When I was little my mom would send us to clean our room and I would pull everything out in a big pile and then sit there feeling completely overwhelmed. It's like my brain didn't even know what to do. I was frozen. (Sweetheart is the same way. Sigh.) Eventually I would put everything back (neater, I thought) and then end up in trouble because I hadn't cleaned anything? I was so confused. I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

I still feel that way sometimes. Anyone know a professional organizer who can donate her time? Ha!

Anyway, I am thankful for bloggers who take the time to show us HOW they organize things. It's very helpful for folks like me. Yesterday I was all thinking about homeschool paperwork and today I'm wondering how I can get shelves in the closet next year and reorganize the stuff in the room (not the furniture!).

Do you know any good places to go for organizational inspiration?

I Know I Can Fall Back

For about a week I've been thinking about all kinds of things. For several reasons, I've been thinking that I am not guaranteed 18 years + with my girls. That's a hard thought.

But here's the truth. Mommys sometimes die.
Children sometimes die.

I hate hate hate even thinking about that. But it happens.

I've been homeschooling AND raising my daughters like I'm in a marathon and I've got LOTS of time left before the finish line. But what if I don't?

Here's what I concluded as I looked up at the moon tonight. (The sky was so clear and beautiful and God is just SO big. That's not what I concluded, but it's true.) I concluded that God is in control and He is more than able to help and handle anything that comes up. Anything.

And He gives peace. Knowing Him, and knowing that nothing is too hard for my God, I can rest. I am so glad He is in control.

BUT...that doesn't clear up the part about raising my girls not being a marathon. I'm not saying it's a race or a sprint, but it's somewhere in the middle. Today I felt more purposeful (I hate that word but it's the best one I can think of right now). Sweetheart messed up reading the measurements while making pancakes this morning. OK. She needs to know how to read measurements in order to cook. So, math today did not come from her book. We went over reading whole numbers and fractions. We made Gallon Guy. Right now. Not "I really gotta work on that with her" but now. Done.

Sure there's the part about teaching them instead of just doing it. That's important. Every single day I could teach my girls something new and useful and we could have fun together doing it. But that's not the most important thing.

The most important thing is God's Word. And their faith in Him. THAT is the A #1 thing I must instill in them. Not in 18 years but right now. Today.

Each day home with my children is a gift. I must use each day well. The days get so busy and there are so many things we *want* to do and so many things that *need* to get done.....but what is most important?

What can you do right now? Then why wait? You may very well be blessed with a long life and many, many more years with your children and their children. How will you use those blessings?

I think we need to stop saying, "I really gotta...." and start just doing it. Right then, if possible!

I don't mean to be morbid. Perhaps I'm having a mid-life crisis. But it was important to think about and work through.

To realize that I have the Lord to fall back on is a good thing.
His hope is enough.
His power is more than enough.
His love is too much to even describe.

If you don't have God to fall back on, you need Him.

Thankful

The kitchen needs to be cleaned.

But I am thankful.

The living room is kind of a mess.

But I am thankful.

It's rainy and dreary outside. And cold.

But I am thankful.

I am thankful to be home with my family. I am thankful that today, we are all healthy. I am thankful that I can hear my girls playing in the next room. I am thankful my husband is home. I am thankful for the way God provides for us. I am thankful that we have salvation because of what Jesus Christ did for us. I am thankful that God sees fit to hear our prayers.

And tomorrow I will be thankful too. There are many problems in this life. Our creation is broken and our world does not run the way God first intended it too. But I will still be thankful.

I will be thankful because God is good. He is SO good that it overshadows all the bad.

Romans 8:18: For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

It's hard to realize that sometimes. Sometimes the present sufferings seem just about as bad as anything can get. God's Word says the sufferings are not even worth comparing.....to the glory that is to come.

I don't think we can imagine how good things are going to be one day. That is why bad seems so bad right now. But God's Word says they aren't worth comparing.

I will choose to believe that. And be thankful.

Did You Think My Thoughts Would Be Jointed Now?

Ha! I've been off-line for 4 days!!!!

And I lived to tell about it.

We left Christmas afternoon for my parent's trailer (the land of no internet connection) and spent a few days relaxing. S had to come home Sunday night but we stayed with my mom and dad until Tuesday. It's nice to be home now.

But it's nearly the new year and I have a lot to do! I LOVE LOVE LOVE fresh starts. It can be the beginning of the school year, the beginning of a new 6 weeks of school, whatever. I love to start over and have a clean slate.

Except right now, the slate isn't very clean.

I was already formulating lists of things to do in my head when, right before bed, I read Mrs. Fuentes' post about planning for the new year. That really got me excited about planning!

Right now I have four categories:

House
Kitchen (meals, food, etc.)
Financial (ug)
School

What am I forgetting?

I'm off to do easy things that make a BIG impact like take down the Christmas decorations and clean the bathrooms.

Somehow that seems better than working on the checkbook.

Neglect

So, reading about families where real neglect happens is not happy. There are FAR worse things that go on in families. Is it abuse? Yes, it's a type of abuse. I sort of think of abuse as what's DONE TO a child and neglect as what is NOT DONE FOR a child. Sometimes, there is both.

I have heard a lot of moms kick themselves for a lot of things. They read something or see something or compare themselves to someone else and walk away feeling like they are a neglector. You see a perfect Mom with her kids all scrubbed and shiny and cute and hair fixed and precious hand-made clothes on and a sweet little headband in their hair and then you look down and notice that your child put her own pony tail in this morning and it is not lovely and they are wearing clothes, but nothing cute or pulled together and one of them has lunch on their face and mismatched socks and a hole in their jeans.

Sigh. So you naturally conclude (well I do anyway) that this mom of cuteness has all her dishes washed and her house is clean and her car is shiny and not filled with crumbs and library books and lost shoes. You might have even been to one of these cute mom's houses and seen it for yourself and you start to think, "What is wrong with me?"

I'm going to tell you something. Being a mom is hard work. Being a full-time mom is hard work. I thought when I quit working full time that things would get easier. Some of them have. But I was honestly very surprised at how hard it was to "just" stay home with my kids.

Here's the deal. Just because you are behind on something doesn't mean you are neglecting your children. It means you are behind on something. Are you? Then go do some laundry. Wash those dishes. It's fixable. It's not the end of the world. Today's "I don't have any clean underwear" can be fixed in a matter of hours. Will you get ALL the laundry done? Probably not. But you can sure pick through the pile and wash all the underwear!

Just because you spend some time on the computer each day doesn't mean you are neglecting your children. My dad read the newspaper each morning. When we wanted to tell him something, he put the paper down in his lap and listened to us. Then he went back to reading. I did not feel neglected that my dad was reading the paper! Today, I get all my news from the computer. I check the weather, I check e-mail, I go through my google reader. It's what I do in the mornings. If my children want to tell me something, I can stop and listen to them. It is not necessarily neglect to spend some time reading "your paper" each day. Can it become neglectful? Yes. Of course we should watch how much time we spend on the computer. Of course we should. Is that the reason why there is no clean underwear? This is fixable.

I have told you before that I do not buy into the thought that I should spend hours a day playing with my children. I am certain that families in olden times did not do such a thing. There was far too much work to be done! But I spend time with my children all day long. The key is not telling them to go away, leave you alone, be quiet, hush, go watch a movie, go play in your room, get away from Mommy because I'm BUSY! The key is whatever you are doing, you can be spending time with your children. Wash the dishes while they tell you all about their latest book they wrote. Stop washing and dry your hands off and look at the pictures. Hug them and tell them great job and then finish washing. Stop paying the bills and come out in the yard to see the cool bug they found. The bills will be there when you get back.

It is OK for your children to see you working. Some moms think they have to get everything done that would take their attention away from their children during nap time or after they go to bed. But if you do things that way, they will never see what it means to be a wife and a mom. Let them help you pay bills. Or draw beside you while you work.

Whatever you need to get done today, do it. But stop to look your children in the eyes and listen to them. Offer to read them a book before they even ask you to. We all get behind in things, but you will catch up. Get the rocks done.

And for goodness sakes, smile at your family.

The End.

The Revisions Are Plentiful

We used to eat out a lot. When I worked, it was just a whole lot easier to eat out than to cook at home AND have to clean up the mess afterward. We only had a few hours at home all together and we didn't want to spend them cooking and cleaning with our back to baby Sweetheart. Plus, I still had work to do in the evenings most of the time.

Then I quit and we became poor so we ate at home. IF we ate out because of poor planning, last minute schedule changes, or whatever...it was fast food. Because that was what we could afford. The groceries I bought? Whatever was cheapest.

Ug.

You really don't want to go down the road of researching food although I know many of you have done it. It just disturbs you and then you either have to sweep what you know under the rug or act on it. There is just SO much to change it's overwhelming. Plastic containers are the devil? Milk products are contaminated? Everything has hormones and antibiotics in it? What do I do now???? ACK!!!

At the same time I am still determined to simplify our home. To declutter. To get rid of STUFF that weighs us down. That's a big goal in itself.

At the same time I am concerned about my children's spiritual development AND their schooling. I feel the need to do more--to teach them more--to be more purposeful and less accidental about training them. I feel the weight of responsibility in that area. That's a big goal in itself.

At the same time I WANT to work on things that bless our family. Like quilts for the girls, and costumes for our costume day, and other sewing and crafts. I want our home to be warm and inviting and welcoming. That's a big goal in itself.

At the same time, my husband is a very busy man with 2 jobs and major responsibilities at church. I am his helper. That's a big job in itself.

Put it all together and you have me.

Me and my very busy brain.

The Lack of Compliments

Yesterday I was out shopping with my older daughter, 11 year old Sweetheart. She cherishes some alone time and we were having a good time just going to pick up some new school books for her sister. Later that evening, we cooked supper together. We were a good team.

This morning I was smiling thinking of the time we spent together when I remembered a comment Sweetheart had made in the course of the afternoon.

"Mommy, I like it when your hair is just down. It looks cute."

Now you should know I nearly NEVER have my hair just down. I always have at least some of it in a clip or all of it in a french twist in a clip or all of it in a ponytail. It gets in the way. When she said it, I immediately took out my big clip and tossed my hair like on those shampoo commercials.

So this morning while I was brushing my hair I was trying to remember the last time the word "cute" had been used in description of me. I think it's safe to say it was many years ago. I used to get compliments all the time though. When you work outside the home, there is more opportunity for compliments.

Specifically when you have to be at work before 7:30 in the morning and you work with a bunch of women and they see you every day. People notice if you look better than average.

"That's a nice outfit you have on!"
"You look really skinny! Have you lost weight?"
"Don't you look nice today? What are you so dressed up for?"

Of course, there is always the unwanted comment. Like the time I tried a new eyeshadow and my neighbor teacher Mr. A said, "You look tired. Do you feel alright?"

My favorite was Mrs. L. Mrs. L was a riot and I have more stories to share about her later but one day another teacher told her that her face looked swollen. She quickly answered, "I think it must be my sinuses." Actually, she said, she guessed she had just gained weight as she felt just fine. At least before that comment she did.

After that, whenever we couldn't fit into our pants or what have you, we always said, "I couldn't even zip my pants this morning! It must be my sinuses!" Mrs. L got such a kick out of using that excuse.

The point is, when you stay home every day, there isn't as much opportunity for compliments. My girls see me first thing in the morning, mid-day, and just before bed. They are used to me. I wear pretty much the same stuff all the time. I am so unaware of how I look to others that I have caught myself gasping in horror as we are on our way somewhere and I look down at myself. But do I turn around and go home and change? No I do not. Maybe I need more compliments and I would raise the bar a bit?

That's why Connie's post I read this morning was PERFECT. I think I'll incorporate this into my daily routine. What do you think?

Overcompensating Humility

Because we don't want to appear perfect in the blogging world, we have tended toward overcompensating humility. Let me explain.

It would be easy to paint a perfect picture for you, my readers. Only post pictures of a clean house. Only highlight my finest homeschool moments. Only post about our achievements...

It's like a Christmas newsletter all year long!

Only, we don't want to do that. So we, Christian blogging moms, show you the other side. Sometimes, we make whole series out of it! It's encouraging to other moms to know that no one really keeps up with the laundry. That we are not alone. That everyone has THOSE days.

I'm all for that.

But I'm afraid that sometimes we get to the point where we feel we must depreciate ourselves in this manner. That to show you, "Hey, I did really good on this today." or "Look! This is really working!" or "I think I've got this under control." would be like becoming a traitor.

I think we should be honest and real when it's appropriate (I'm not showing you my checkbook OK?) but I don't think we have to do so to the point where we begin to think of ourselves as disorganized messes all the time.

We aren't.

We all have talents and abilities and areas where we shine. We all have homemaking and homeschool successes. But bragging on those looks like pride.....so we overcompensate the humility part.

If our strength comes from Christ, then telling about our sucesses is like bragging on what the Lord has done in our lives, right?

Look at God! Isn't He awesome? Look what He helped me do!

I'd like to think of it that way. I'll still share about my bad times and my struggle against disorganization because that IS real life. But I'd like to also show you what the Lord has done and is doing to this wife/mama/homemaker.

'Cause it's pretty cool.

Does that make sense?

Apparently I'm Still in Jr. High

I am so easily influenced. Ug. I hate that. A few weeks ago I read several really good articles and blog posts about homeschooling. The authors were classical educators and I totally started planning (mentally, that is) memorization tasks, and how I'm going to include more narration and copy work in our year, and how I need to read better literature with the girls.

And I've started writing plans down in my little notebook and I'll be dadgummed if they don't all require us to be sitting at the table! Oh boy do I have big plans for their learning. It's time to get with it. We need to grow and stretch the girls a bit. Big plans.

And then I read this. And...sniff, sniff. This is Sweetheart's last year of elementary. So in the shower tonight I'm planning to do all the activities that go with our history curriculum. Every single one of them. And every science activity known to man. And we'll do our reading lessons on big pillows on the floor. And we'll do theme units once a month. Now let's see....if we do 3 weeks of regular curriculum, and take off one week to just do Bible and a theme unit (and OK maybe math too)....we should finish 1st and 5th grade in about what? Three years?

Sigh. What pants are cool this week? I'll make sure to wear them tomorrow. Now you call me in the morning and let me know what shoes you are going to wear because I'm not going to be the only one showing up wearing them if you aren't. Oh, and by the way, how are you wearing your hair tomorrow?

Casually Feminine--The Feminine Face

When I was about 10 years old, my oldest sister rolled her eyes at my dad. I well remember this scene as I was sitting on the couch folding clothes. Oh boy was he mad! She got grounded, which very rarely happened at our house, and I made a mental note. Self: do not roll your eyes at dad. Ever.

But the thing is, I did roll my eyes. I was just smart enough to not do it to his face. I waited until my back was turned. Or his was.

That's not really better by the way. The heart attitude behind the eye rolling was the problem, not the facial expression itself. So even though I may not be an adult who makes ugly faces at people, my heart attitude sometimes DOES roll my eyes at them. And maybe even sticks out its tongue sometimes, so to speak. That is not OK.

Sometimes it just takes acting to have the proper facial expression. Like when a child in your class is hurling all over the floor. What is required in that moment is compassion and action.....not a gagging face and wigging out. It's just not proper for a teacher to have a "gross me out!" look on their face when a child is sick. Inside you may be grossing out, but outwardly you don't want to show that.

OK that's kind of a funny example, but I do think it's important to not show exactly how we are feeling through our facial expression at all times. I don't always wake up feeling joyful, but I can still smile at my family. Sometimes there is a heart attitude that needs to be dealt with, but other times, it just takes choosing the right action in spite of our feelings.

That is true for anyone. But ladies have some other things to consider. David says something similar to the following many times in the Psalms:

Answer me speedily, O LORD;
My spirit fails!
Do not hide Your face from me,
Lest I be like those who go down into the pit.
Psalm 143:7

Do not hide Your face from me. We would not want the Lord to look away from us. Ladies, do you look away from your husband when you are upset with him? Do you avoid eye contact?

Do you remember that scene in Monsters Inc. where Boo sees Sulley scaring?



Just watch from 5:45 to 6:32 in case you don't have the movie memorized like me.

I have seen mothers out in public with their children before and the entire time the mother is griping and fussing and frowning at those children. Look, I know everyone can have a bad day, and I really try to give folks the benefit of the doubt, but honestly? I can watch you for 10 minutes or 30 minutes and not once do you have a smile or kind word for your child?

I suspect if many of us saw ourselves on TV like Sulley saw himself (the way Boo--or our children see it), we would be ashamed. It's easy for me to see these other mother's faults because I am watching them from afar. If you were following me around with a camera, some days I wouldn't look so great myself.

Wonder how our face looks when we are having a conversation with our husband? A few weeks ago at the grocery store I told the girls, "Aww. Look at that sweet little old couple up there." I just love old folks. The wife was sitting in an automatic cart and the husband was shuffling along beside her. They were by the yogurt, shopping together.

Then we got closer.

"I want the low fat kind." said the wife.
"The what?" said her husband.
"The LOW FAT YOGURT." she said, a bit too sharply.
"I can't understand you." he said, exasperated.
She looked at him like he was the biggest idiot on the earth and shook her head. "NEVER MIND!"
He shook his head back at her.

Never mind girls. DON'T look at the sweet little old couple! Come on, we don't need yogurt!

Gee whiz. It was not lovely. Last week we talked about what words come out of our mouth, but if it isn't matched with a loving facial expression, we might as well not be saying anything.

And you know moms can shoot looks that can kill. It cracks me up when I see a "mom look" being shot across the room at church. I can line up the death stare and find the kid who is receiving it in 2 seconds flat. And clearly there is a time and place for "non-verbal communication", but I think the majority the time, our family should see love and patience on our faces, don't you agree?

Join in with us this week! Share what "the face" and "casually feminine" makes you think of!

A Bit More About the House

It worked! It really worked!!!!!

Today was the first day I REALLY cleaned the areas I had already "done" according to the HTCI system I've been using. So here's my report:

The entryway area had stuff that didn't belong on the cabinet. Stuff that had just been laid there. But not stacks and stacks of mail like before. So, I got the trash sack, cleaned it off, polished the wood, swept the floor, cleaned out my purse and church bag and straightened the little white shelf and it took about 10 minutes.

TEN MINUTES! And it's back to gorgeous. And I did everything but mop! I mean, I know it's just an entryway, but this was wonderful.

(that's the original pic there)

Having the trash can right there caused me to not have to walk to throw stuff away (thus getting distracted in the process), and knowing exactly what stuff belongs in that area made it easy to eliminate those things which do NOT belong.

Then I moved on to the living room. This room has really fallen into disarray in the past week. Easter baskets on the fireplace, me sorting through summer/winter clothes, and various stacks of books/Bibles left laying around made a real mess of it.

So I have found a new problem to solve in this room. I originally solved the problems of where to store the printer paper, how to get books back in the library box, and where to set stuff when we walked in the door, but now I see another problem and it's name is my husband.

Just kidding. But he really does have books and Bibles and stuff that get left on the coffee table and that can't be. So I need to make sure the desk in our room is clear at all times so he can stack his stuff there when he's through.

Or, you know, I can do it. Whichever.

I made 20 cents yesterday off the girls but I went a little easy on them. I gave more reminders than I plan to give next week. Thought I'd give them a few days to get used to this before I drain them dry. It really helped though and we didn't even have to do the 4:00 pick-up because they put their things away all day. This will help the living room.

I'm really looking forward to implementing this system all over the house. These first 2 areas have given me such hope! I also saw some pictures posted on the HTCI Facebook group and they encouraged me as well.

I can't WAIT to have this kind of house!!!

Have to Dos

A friend had this as their status line on Facebook yesterday:

When most of what you do is because of what you think you're supposed to do you begin to resent. Happy is the person whose "wants" and "shoulds" coincide.

It made me think of one year in first grade. That particular year we had a heck of a class. The previous year teacher filled out a card on each child to be passed on to the new teacher. These were laid out on the table to form classes. Even number of boys/girls, even race distribution, siblings not together, special needs given to the right personality of teacher, etc. This particular year over half the cards we got looked like this:

Shelby's card: Do not seat next to Evan.
Evan's card: Do not seat next to Terrence.
Terrence's card: Do not seat next to Angel.

On and on it went. Figuring out a seating chart that year was like doing one of those slider puzzles you get as carnival prizes. There are only four corners in a room people.

All I'm saying is it was a difficult year. And so "literacy centers", as we had been trained to use them....weren't happening. They broke, tore, or destroyed every single thing we made to be used in center time. Laminating didn't help. Steel bars might have.

And so the Have To Do and Want To Do system was born. When your regular work was complete, you had to do a certain number of Have To Do tasks before you could choose from the Want To Do tasks. They were kind of literacy center type tasks, but they had to be completed at their desk. One at a time. There were very few privileges given to that class. By the way, some classes are just like that. Our school shuddered all the way to 5th grade with that group. I think we heard the middle school teachers scream the next year, but none of us were willing to go investigate.

Anyway, it drives me crazy when I hear Sweetheart talk about not liking school. What? You have it so good kid! One day she told me, "All us kids in my Bible class are sad that spring break is over. We don't want to go back to school!" I know she's picking up the "school sucks" attitude from friends who go to school but I'm not sure how it applies to her.

I promise all this is going to come together in a minute.

In the morning I am facing down a house that has fallen apart a bit over the weekend. I have to find the homeschool table again. There is laundry. Grocery shopping needs to be done. I am not looking forward to it. Where did I pick up this "housework sucks" attitude?

I realized today that my have to do's better become my want to do's or I am going to be pretty miserable in life. Sweetheart too. We talked about how you don't have to like school work, but you can still like learning. I think a lot of it is just that when you wake up, the day is not yours. I have housework. She has school. Neither is what we WANT to be doing.

I think this is where having a grateful attitude comes in. Counting your blessings is truly a great way to start the day.

I am blessed with a working washer and dryer.
I am blessed with the money and car to go grocery shopping.
I am blessed to be home to clean the house.

She is blessed to have a say in what she does in school. And in what order.
She is blessed to get to learn God's word in school.
She is blessed to get lots of play breaks and be done really early in the day.

Can counting your blessings turn "have to do's" into "get to do's"? What do you think?

Casually Feminine: Sleepwear

Edited to add: FINE. I didn't know OK??? Now I'm not the bad guy. :)


Notice the closed bedroom door so the children don't wander in..."Mommy? Why are you taking a picture of yourself in your pajamas at 11:30am?"



The reason we decided to begin with what we sleep in is because it's the last thing my husband sees on his way out the door in the mornings.

Poor guy.

Internet, please meet my pajamas.



I love them so. I love these capri pants. They are soft, comfy, and wonderful. That shirt is just an old t-shirt. The top varies. Sometimes I wear one of my husband's old t-shirts with these capris.

Just look how the waistband is lovingly frayed.

You know Old Navy dates their stuff, right? Let's take a peek shall we?

Man! I forgot to turn the picture. Oh well. Please crane your neck now.

Oh! 2002! So that means I purchased these bad boys BEFORE I was even pregnant with Little Bit. When Sweetheart was just turning 3.

Folks, I'll be honest here. I love these capri pants, but I do love my husband as well. He deserves better than this. I think there is a place for sloppy pajamas, but it's not every night. If your husband goes out of town for work or hunting or whatever....THAT'S the night you pull out your sloppy old lovely pajamas.

S never goes out of town. Shoot.

Still, I'm keeping them. There is a time and place for these. Maybe camping trips?

Part of the reason my sleepwear is a concern is my husband. He deserves to see a lovely, feminine woman when he wakes up in the morning. Not someone dressed like a sloppy college kid. I am his bride, his wife. He is one reason why it matters.

The other reason is I have little people imitating me. Honestly I felt convicted about my sleepwear about 2 years ago. I saw that my daughters were wearing old too-big t-shirts to sleep in. Boy do they look sloppy, I thought. And then I looked down at what I was wearing.

Oh.

It wasn't doing their future husbands any favors to teach them that bedtime = sloppy. So I asked my mom to make them nightgowns. I blogged about it here....one of my favorite comment sections of all time on this blog. And I'm sorry to say that nearly 2 years later, I am still saying and wearing the same things.

It is REALLY time to change. I don't mean that I want to do an experiment and try out feminine attire for awhile. I want to BE more feminine. How do I do that? By just starting I guess.

It doesn't mean you have to wear this to bed.


If you want to, that's fine. What it probably means is that you need to talk to your husband. He might have a completely different idea than you. Remember, we are talking about being casually feminine, but that doesn't mean just casual. We need to look different than men. So what does that mean?

Personally, I think these are lovely.



And let me just interject something else here. I do not believe that modesty applies in the bedroom with our husbands. You are married for goodness sake! BUT, modesty does apply when you are just walking around the house. Maybe you don't hold to the same standards as you do for the public eye, but you do have to consider what you are walking around in.

What are your ideas for casually feminine modest sleepwear?

If you'd like to chime in today on your blog and join us on this journey, please sign on up on the 'ol MckLinky! If you don't have a blog or would just like to leave a comment--those are welcome too!


Picture sources. Here. Here.

Stupid Blogging

Busted.

Hi! Remember me? Brenda, who used to host Fitness Fridays? Yeah.

I just put a cake in the oven and poured myself a congratulatory glass of coke. The congratulations were for not getting a caffeine headache today after slipping up and drinking several REAL cokes this weekend. (This is Texas, by the way. When we say coke....we mean pop or soda. I actually had knock off Dr. Pepper if you really must know.) Anyway, I have been off of cokes for a little over a month I think, trying to only have caffeine free diet drinks when I really wanted one.

So I sat down with my coke, lifted the glass to my lips and began to drink, while my right hand clicked on an e-mail. Here is how it started:


Hi Brenda,
I was just looking back at a comment you made on my blog in December. I made a comment about giving up cola and you said you were too. I was just wondering how it was going for you.

Ha ha. Ha ha ha. I almost spit my coke out. Could the timing BE any more ironic?

Did I really say that? Folks, I'll be honest. I don't remember going off of cokes in December. Clearly, that was not a firm commitment on my part. I am so busted.

I am glad to report that I got up and poured the coke down the sink. So thank you Tammi Kay, for the kick in the butt.

Blogging is so good for you.

'Cause Casual Is How We Roll

OK. First of all, I wrote this about a year ago.

And then.....and then.....well, not much happened after that.

Until the other day when my good bloggy buddy Karly e-mailed me. "How's it going wearing more skirts?" she wondered.

And after I stopped laughing, I answered her. We got all involved in a big 'ol discussion about how we NEED to be more feminine and how we NEED to be an example for our daughters and wouldn't our husbands love it and then I thought about JulieMom.

See, JulieMom has three daughters and a little group on Facebook all about modesty and I know she's thought about these matters. So she joined in our discussion and we all agreed on a few things.

1. We want/need to be more feminine.
2. We want to teach and model femininity (and modesty) for our daughters.
3. We don't see a lot of femininity around us on a daily basis.
4. We are moms. Moms who stay home and homeschool our children.
5. None of us fit into the Victorian era, sittin' around writing poetry with quill and ink while lovely classical music plays in the background and we sip tea in our beautiful white dress. That is NOT our life.

Have you ever seen a little old lady with style? I always notice them. I want to be a little old lady with lovely lady-like style one day. But how am I going to go from where I am now (You don't even want to know how I looked today. Ask Giovanna.) to being that little old stylish lady? The answer is, I'm not. I'm not going to practice looking masculine and sloppy every day and then suddenly morph into loveliness in my old age. I have to start making the changes now.

So back to how our life is. The truth is, being a mom is hard work. It's dirty work. It's tiring work. Does that give us a licence to wear jeans and t-shirts all the time? Stained clothes? Torn up stretchy pants? Sloppy shirts with holes in them?

We are not only moms, we are wives. I don't know about you, but my husband deserves better. I want him to come home to a lovely bride, not a worn out workhorse. And the truth is, my husband would HATE IT if I sat around in a white dress sipping tea and writing poetry. He'd much rather have me help him in the yard or something. He prefers a more casual look, as do I.

So Karly, JulieMom and I decided that there most certainly is too a thing called

Casually Feminine

and we are going to all figure out what that means together. With you! You are invited on this journey. Each week we are going to give out a topic (until the topics run out) and put up a MckLinky so you can all share in the fun!

For today, I'd like you to click on Karly and JulieMom's posts and read all about them, especially if you haven't met them yet. And even if you have. They did a great job explaining all this. Then, get ready next Wednesday when we will be discussing what is probably the first thing our husbands see in the morning before they leave for work.....our sleepwear. I want pictures people! I'll be sharing mine. See you then!

I'm Hoping the Computer Makes It Until I Hit Publish

So.....I had a grand plan of helping make some extra money around here. It involved my sewing machine. I started teaching sewing classes on Saturdays which is bringing in a bit of extra money. I also agreed to sew some skirts for a friend's daughter. A bit more extra money. Nothing earth shattering, but every little bit counts, right?

Then my sewing machine broke.

That's not even to mention how I was saving money by sewing our own skirts.

And S was starting back up his lawn care business. That will bring in some extra money too. A lot more than me.

Then the brakes went out on his truck. And it's hard to haul lawn equipment in a car.

So our plans to get out of debt and have that little bit of extra money to help us breathe easier each month are kind of not going as expected.

Which just goes to prove that we are not in control. We DO need the Lord. We cannot gather enough manna to last for 3 days.

We must depend on Him. Which is exactly where we were before all of our stuff broke, by the way.

Training Boot Camp

Brenda here, reporting live from the bowels of hell the hallway outside of the girls' bedroom and playroom. I would like to be here telling you how a terrible storm hit our house and insurance will pay for it all but the truth is.....

we did it.

Well, the girls technically did it, but I helped. How? By not being consistent.

Our girls are pretty obedient. I'm mostly pleased with their behavior. They aren't too hard to correct and I certainly don't cringe about having to spend time with them. Do they need correcting sometimes? Absolutely. But overall....they are pretty swell children.

Except this one thing.

S called me on it last night. Oh he wasn't trying to make me feel bad but he just basically said look, they HAVE to start picking up after themselves better. It's past the point of ridiculous.

I quite agree.

So I asked him for two things:
1. to give us the rest of this week to get things picked up (you have to start off in a better state than we are now if we are going to maintain anything) and
2. to let me have next week for a training week.

It means going back to boot camp, much like we did when Little Bit was three. What that means is, I have to be in their vicinity 90% of the time for a few days. Keep them right by me. Make SURE they are obedient in putting their things away. After all, this is a new habit we are tying to form and it's going to take lots of reinforcement.

After that, periodic (several times a day) inspections will occur, with consequences or praise given afterward.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

See, I enjoy being home so much. It's still so fresh on my mind how I hated leaving them and how thankful I am for them to be home playing with their toys while I work on something in another room that I have been too lenient. I'll see a mess they made in another room, but they are so busy playing and getting along with each other that I hate to interrupt them every single time so the mess stays and I intend for them to go back later and do it but......

sigh.

It's not been serving us well. Or our house. And Mama has been too soft so thankfully God made the daddies not so soft. The law has been laid down. I talked to the girls this morning. Not mad, not yelling. I explained to them that when Daddy works so hard to pay for our house and things that we have and then he comes home and sees things on the floor like you don't even care about it, it seems like you just might as well throw it away. They understood. They agreed.

And so I sit here at the intersection of chaos and confusion.....keeping them on task as they sort through the mess. One is on my left in the bedroom and one is on my right in the toy room. And we will keep going until we are done.

I did give them several small successes first thing this morning. I had them straighten up their shoe baskets (they keep their shoes in a crate in the floor of their closet), the library books, the mittens and scarves in the coat closet, the bathroom. You know, little areas.

Surely all those little areas will start to add up to orderliness soon. Right? Right?

Check in with me every now and then peeps. This mama could use some encouragement!

I've Gone All "Nature" On Ya

I think S is worried about me. Last night he snapped the bedroom light on after I had so carefully turned all the big lights off and instead turned on a small bedside lamp.

"AAAAAHHH My circadian rhythms!!!!" I shouted.

He shook his head and said something about how soon I was going to be doing yoga.

See, last weekend my Dad, S, and I had a discussion about Daylight Savings Time. I've come to not like it. When I was younger I loved it because it meant we could play outside longer in the summer. Well, if the mosquitoes didn't carry us away, you know. But it seems to me that when I was little that's all it was......the summer. Daylight Savings Time now takes up most of the year. We just got off of it in November and it starts back up next month.

This messes with our bodies, I believe. I mentioned many posts ago about how the pioneers knew when to quit working---when the sun went down. But we, with all of our advanced living, could work all night if we wanted thanks to electricity and artificial lighting. I'm not slamming electricity--it is my friend. The point is, we are not in touch with common sense when we can keep all the lights burning and wonder why we can't sleep.

My Dad said it was called circadian rhythm. I had never heard of it but he explained that it was the reason some men couldn't handle shift work. (My dad worked shift work for over 30 years.) Basically, it's our body's cycle of a 24 hour day. We wake. We sleep. All of his is based on the sun and the seasons.

So I was already thinking about that when I stumbled across an article talking about how we never hear nature sounds anymore. Well, you might, but this writer worked inside a well-insulated building without windows. It gets to you. Her answer was to play CD's of nature sounds or download them to her MP3 player. I'll tell you, I've worked in a windowless building before and was shocked beyond belief to open the door and find a storm outside. Sheesh, talk about isolation!

So what do you think about all this? Don't you think there's something to it?

God made the earth and the 24 hour day and the seasons all for a reason. Just when things need to change, they do. Just when the earth heats up enough, before it overheats, the sun goes down. And just before it freezes into a big ice ball, the sun comes up. The seasons serve their purposes. Even though we all say, "I could live with _______ season all year long!" We know things don't work this way. We need all four seasons. We need both sunlight and dark.

So I've been trying to turn off lights in the evenings. Let it get darker before we go to bed. I open windows in the mornings. I'm listening to birds right now. I'm trying to go to bed earlier and get up earlier---a bit more like the pioneers and a bit more in line with the sun. Now, what do I do when DST starts?

I guess get black out shades?

And maybe do some yoga.

Dare I Say It?

I have been home how long? Let's see.....Little Bit was 3 when I came home and now she's 6. Wow! Three years! Seriously?

Anyway, I think I might maybe possibly somewhat be getting the hang of this homemaking stuff.

It's not that my house is all "orderly" or "organized" or even half-way so, it's just that I'm starting to get my groove.

OK, maybe I'm just having a good day. Supper was GOOD. Want the recipe? You know you do! It's the end of the money month so I was looking for frugal recipes online today before I went grocery shopping.

Bubble Pizza

Ingredients: 3 cans of biscuits--the cheap kind
1 jar spaghetti sauce
mozzarella cheese
toppings (we had pepperoni)

Cut the biscuits into quarters and toss them in a bowl. Pour some spaghetti sauce over them and toss them around until they are all coated. Spread these out in the bottom of a casserole dish. Then, pour some more sauce on top. I didn't use the whole jar.

Top with cheese and whatever toppings you like. Cook at 350 degrees until the biscuits are done---about 30 to 40 minutes. Mine got almost too brown on top when I kept it there for 40, which was what the original recipe said.

SO good and filling!

Also, S and I were talking about the girls' clothes last night. We both agree that we want them to dress more like girls and less blue jeans. Can't imagine where they get THAT example from. Ahem. So we looked online at some skirts and he asked me to start buying some for the spring. But instead, I started sewing some today! I looked for easy skirt tutorials online and they are abundant.

Here's the one I'm using. It's really easy. I'll let you know how it comes out!

Also, I went grocery shopping today and came in WAY under budget. Maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to get better at this stuff.

I know I've been married for 16 years, but it's like I'm just starting out. Things I should have had down pat by now I'm still working on.

But today....was very good.