Monday, November 30, 2009

The Answer to Now What?

Last one! This is the conclusion of all my research earlier in the year. Tomorrow we are back to real blogging.

So the result of all my research into the topic of women's dress is that we must obey God's Word...dressing modestly and remembering that our true beauty doesn't come from our clothes. I knew those things already, so why couldn't I lay the issue to rest?

I felt a real call to look into these things and as I have, I have become more convinced about the need to dress more femininely. I know it isn't a command in the Bible and so if you think it's silly and there isn't any need to do it--I would understand your argument. But in light of my thoughts in this post, it just makes sense to me.

Having to put effort into looking feminine is a problem in this country and a recent one at that! Fifty or sixty years ago it was a non-issue. The opportunities and choices available to us today mean that it is acceptable for women to dress and behave very masculinely. I live around a lot of chemical plants and the women who work at those plants wear blue coveralls just like the men. Steel toed boots. Hard hats. The whole package. Women doing jobs like that is simply part of our world. However, I see no reason why a woman with a job that requires more masculine dress couldn't come home and transform herself! When she is not at work, she could still be feminine. I've said it before, doing "manly" things sometimes does NOT turn you into a man. You are still a woman--even clothes can't hide that.

But there is SO MUCH more to femininity than our clothes. THAT is the part I have learned. I have become an astute observer of people lately. I have observed what women wear, how they act, etc. You should try looking around you sometime. It's interesting.

Being feminine is how you act, how you talk, you dress, and how you are. You don't have to try to be a woman--you already are. But feminine takes a bit more work, especially in this time period when feminine behavior isn't particularly taught or expected.

A man a few computers down from me at the library let out a cuss word yesterday. It was a pretty big one. He looked to the side and saw me and said, "Excuse me" which I thought was terribly nice. Anyway, after that happened I wondered why he had to look over at me--did he not realize he was sitting next to a woman when he sat down? I suddenly saw myself. I was wearing jeans and a shirt--nothing that nice. I had my legs crossed like a guy and was leaned back in the chair. A picture of loveliness. You would have laughed to see me slowly sit up and uncross my legs, suddenly aware of how I looked.

That's what I'm talking about. I've seen very pretty women wearing lovely clothes who then opened their mouth and ruined the whole image with their ugly words, attitude, or rudeness. You can put a lovely skirt on me (and hopefully a shirt!) and if I'm smacking on gum, cussing, complaining, talking rudely to my husband, etc.....I'm not looking too feminine, you know?

So I'm striving to become more feminine and that does include different clothing than I usually wear. But it is so much more. I must figure this all out so I can teach and be an example to my daughters. And not only how to be feminine, but why it matters in the first place.

I think I've figured that last part out now.


  1. I dress pretty feminine most of the time, even spending time caring for my hair, pulling it up and away from my face and neck in a cute updo (not your typical pony tail), etc. That's not to say that I don't ever look slouchy or whatnot, but even if I'm not going anywhere, I like to look feminine and nice, if only for my family. :)

    It is hard to find nice feminine clothing. I think so many people confuse feminine with something more flashy and revealing, but that couldn't be further from the truth. (I think thats right) is one of my favorite sites because they have outfits with good coverage (some.. not all!). I also frequent online stores that are geared towards modesty (but with style)- which I prefer to do, because I'd rather my money go to someone who is more about modesty than the "less is more" trend.

    Great post!

  2. I really enjoyed this, Brenda. Good post. Lots of food dor thought and prayer.

  3. Another great post, Brenda, but what happened to our Fitness Friday assignment for this week? LOL

  4. I just wanted you to know that I still read your blog. Every day. I just don't comment because I'm a slouch. Not that you didn't already know this, though.

  5. Mrs Brenda, this is by FAR the best post on this subject yet, and all of yours have been good even if I've disagreed slightly in some places. This one takes the cake and it is excellent.

  6. Thank you for taking the time to do this research & sharing it with everyone. I've struggled with this for a long time. You have finally put in to words what I was feeling! I've never thought it was wrong for me to wear pants, BUT I want to LOOK more feminine. I'm definitely going to work on changing this. Thanks!

  7. Brenda, this is a fabulous post and I am so proud of your conclusions. I am amazed at how you and I have reached the same conclusions. I, too, have been challenged recently regarding my femininity and I've been coming to the same conclusions as you have.

    It isn't mandatory in the Bible, by any means, but I am being drawn to dress more feminine, act more feminine and be more feminine.

    Excellent post, as always! I'm proud of you. It's hard at our age to do this kind of a makeover! LOL!


I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)