Looking Ahead Just a Bit

When I had a preschooler and a baby just a few years ago...this stuff could not have seemed farther in the future. But now that Sweetheart is a big 8 years old and Little Bit will be 4 next week...well, our family is changing a bit.

I've been thinking about having the talk about the body and all that involves with Sweetheart. It's not necessary yet, but it will come up VERY soon. Am I ready? Do I even know how to handle such a topic? It's going to open up a can of other topics too as she will surely begin to doubt her former theory that babies just spontaneously grow inside married women's tummies. She knows God makes them. She knows God opened and closed wombs in the Bible. She knows how they come out. It's just that she doesn't yet know that it, um, takes 2 to tango.

I read about this book earlier in the week. I want to see it in person, but it looks promising. I'm not even sure I want to use a book for this kind of stuff. I honestly don't know how people approach this stuff. A lot of my friends that I visit with often have children younger than mine. I do know that I want this information to come from us at home. And in a truthful, godly way.

And that led me to thinking about all the "rules" of our house in the future. When will they be allowed to shave? To wear make-up? To babysit? To go on "group outings" with mixed company? How will we handle the whole dating/not-dating/courtship/too much to even think about scene? I have to think about these things NOW. I cannot wait until they are upon us. (And yes, ALL of this will be discussed first and foremost with my husband. I'm just thinking out loud here.)

Can you tell I'm a little nervous? And I'm also a little miffed that I need to think about some of this right now. She's 8 for crying out loud!!!! Do girls really start shaving at age 9? Do they really wear make-up at 10? Do they really start liking boys and thinking about that all the time at 11? Is this what I want for my girls? Is there another way? Or am I kidding myself?

I mean, do I HAVE to have a tween? Or even a teenager for that matter? Didn't I read somewhere that "teenager" is a relatively new term? Back in the olden days you went from girlhood to young lady. Why can't we have that at our house? I need to read up more on that.

I'm not talking about forcing them to stay young and innocent and naive. I'm just talking about not accepting the world's standards (as usual-I'm second guessing everything lately!) or even the way other Christian families at my church handle things. I want to please the Lord in this area and study what His word has to say. I don't even know where to begin.

OK, my bloggy friends with older girls. I need some help here. Resources? Advice? Thoughts? You can comment or e-mail me!

Thanks so much. I'm done fretting now.

The Family That Plays Together...

S. has been playing golf seriously for a bit over a year. This is a relatively new sport in our household, although it's the sport I grew up with. Walk through our living room any evening and chances are the Golf Channel will be on. (At my Dad's house too!)

S. grew up playing football. He was 5 when he started and his mom had photo albums full of all the times he was in the paper growing up. He was quite good, apparently. He played football until his junior year of high school when he switched to basketball. That's when we started dating. We played basketball on dates, I watched him play basketball. He was quite good.

He never played baseball in his life but when he joined the church softball team one year, he had very little trouble picking up the game. Sports just seem to come easy to him. And that's why golf is giving him a little bit of grief. You see, he isn't in the percentage he wants to be.

What? Let me fill you in on my husband's percentage theory.

See, S. grew up fishing. His step-dad would take him salt water fishing on the piers all the time growing up. He also had 2 best friends who fished all the time with him. Come to think of it, when we weren't playing or watching basketball while dating, we were probably fishing. But that's a post for another day! Anyway, when it comes to fishing he just plain knows what he's doing. Whenever some tourist comes down to the pier with a way too big rod and reel and a shiny new tackle box you can just see S. shaking his head inside. So sad. Poor old 90 percenter. You see, 90% of the people don't know what they are doing when it comes to fishing. And the other 10% do. Can you guess which group S. believes he belongs to?

But he's been frustrated about golf. I finally figured out why.

"You're a 90 percenter when it comes to golf aren't you? And it's killing you!" He had to admit it was true. He cracks me up.

It probably doesn't help that he takes Sweetheart with him to the driving range with her new pink junior golf clubs and watches her hit an entire large bucket of balls straight as an arrow.

And she might not even appear to think about what she is doing. And it's also been reported she might twirl around in a circle after she swings just for fun. And yet? Her balls go straight every time.

That might add to the frustration, don't you think?

And the priceless part was the way she picked up a Golf Digest when they got home and sat down to peruse it, serious as she could be.

Happiness is not knowing what percentage you are in!

Waking Up in the Mission Field

My husband and I have always talked about being missionaries one day. When we were in high school we had the opportunity to see one of the Mercy Ships. That night we talked about how one day we would be missionaries together. S's mom had always told him that she thought he was destined for such a thing. Fine with me. I was just excited he included me in those plans! Ah, young love.

We still bring up the subject now and then. We have put off thinking about the whole thing whenever I was pregnant. We have decided to wait until they were older. We have thought about short-term mission work we could do with the kids. We know missionaries. We know former missionaries. We know people who grew up in missionary families. It's still in our plans for one day in the future.

When we bought our first house 2 years into marriage, I dreamt of raising our family there. We did end up moving into a nicer and newer house when I was pregnant with Sweetheart. So, then I pictured having teenagers in that house. I pictured hanging their graduation pictures on the wall at that house. I pictured them coming home from college to that house. I was set. We had a house and we would raise our family and gather belongings and everything would be great and comfortable.

Flash forward 7 years and find me packing again to move into this slightly smaller, much older house. I could care less what our house is like as long as I can make it into a nice home for my family. After all, one day we may be living in a hut in Africa!!! And? I will make that hut a wonderful home for my family. Being a homemaker doesn't mean buying a house and living the American dream. Being a homemaker means I can make a home for my family no matter where we find ourselves.

In line with that kind of thinking, I worked hard to downsize our belongings when we moved here. We can't just live and keep collecting stuff that we have to move and pack and take care of the rest of our lives! We need to be ready to serve the Lord. How can we be ready to go do His will if we are tied down to a house and stuff and debt, etc? Good thoughts. (In fact I think after living here 1 year it is time to de-clutter again!) I am absolutely convinced that going to do God's will is going to be an exciting time in our lives!

But what about when God says, "Stay"?

So we find ourselves in a mission field right now. Where we live, where we work, where we attend church---we are being called to serve. Right now. It isn't foreign. It isn't all that exotic. It isn't far away. Can this really be missionary work?

But we find ourselves in a position where we know some people who go to church but are not disciples. Some people who have heard the name of the Lord, but whose lives have not been changed or transformed. And some people that we would actually not choose to have our children spend time with. And in those respects, this is exactly like missionary work.

So my home....this home...for however long we live here, must be ready to serve the Lord. I must be ready to have people over. I must be ready to cook meals. I must be ready to share what we have. I must be ready for...things I cannot even imagine. I really can't.

Because I don't know what this "local missionary" thing looks like. But it sure feels nice to know we have the opportunity to serve the Lord RIGHT NOW and not sometime in the FUTURE. Instead of planning and dreaming of what might happen one day, we find ourselves here...right now.

May God use this family for His glory.

In Training...

Raising these daughters of ours is an on-going process. We are out of the diapers stage. We are all self-feeding (just working on the manners part). Everyone, for the most part, sleeps through the night. When I look back to just a few years ago it is amazing how independent everyone has become.

But I am not NEARLY finished raising them. They are very young and need guidance and constant watching. We have been involved with a homeschool play group this year and I have been SO impressed with the children's behavior. It is a very mixed group with children ranging from 1 month old to 18 years old. The first week we were there, the two oldest children arranged games for the other kids to play. I watched in amazement as older children stopped and helped younger ones tie shoes, as they all stopped playing to see if my daughter was OK when she fell, and just generally took care of each other. All the teenagers were involved with what the other children were doing, instead of hanging around the adults or sulking around in the corner that they even had to be there. MUCH different than what I'm used to seeing! I complimented one of the moms and she was quick to say, "Oh, our kids can be like any others. Just wait and see!"

Well, a few weeks later I am still impressed. However, last week a whole bunch of children were playing outside unsupervised. Sweetheart had been instructed, "Stay inside the fenced area." I went out and couldn't find her. When I finally did, I saw that they were pulling limbs off of trees and having a big "girls against boys war." It wasn't anything big, but they were all in areas they probably weren't supposed to be in, climbing on things they shouldn't be climbing on, hitting harder than they should have been, and tearing up young trees that did not belong to them. Supervised...none of that would have happened. I know it could have been much worse, but it just made me think that unsupervised, all children can start down wrong paths.

I'm not just homeschooling. I'm not just staying home with my kids. I'm not just keeping house. Every minute that they are awake I am training them. As a Christian, I understand the concept of training. The Bible talks about it. I have read excellent material on it. I am learning how to do it better every day. And it's not too hard to find examples of poor training if you look around.

This morning I watched a clip on the Duggar family. You can see the clip at A Wise Woman Builds Her House. Meredith Vieira of The Today Show is interviewing the Duggars in New York when she asks their oldest son, Joshua, a question. He gives his mom credit for training them well. "Training?" Meredith Vieira stammers. At the end of the interview, she compliments them saying, "You have trained them well."

The concept of training is strange to the world. I have heard all the "what do you think they are, dogs?" comments before. But the effect of good, godly training are obvious and it's hard to deny that it's good. Very good. All the years of training your children will pay off with the good fruit their lives produce.

And how can you train them if you are not with them? Just a question.

So, I will log off now because mine are awake. Have a great day!

October Has Been So Much Fun!!!!

We started the month off by going to "the trailer." When we tore my grandmother's house down several years after she died, my parents bought a 2 bedroom trailer and parked it right where my Nanny's house had been. My aunts and cousins live in the same town and I have always greatly enjoyed going to visit. Now, even though they don't have grandparents who live out of town, my girls get the pleasure of visiting this same small town and staying at "the trailer." (When they tell people where we are going, we feel very classy. Why didn't we start off calling it "their country home"?)

The week we were up there, we happened to be studying cowboys. My parents added so much to our school fun! We made stick horses for the girls one afternoon and then my dad was in there making gauntlets and spurs and all sorts of things for them. Here are some shots of our cowboy cookout one night.

My mom and Sweetheart enjoying hamburgers and baked beans.


And Little Bit enjoying her cowboy supper.



While we were there, my cousin called and asked if the girls would enjoy helping her feed some baby goats. Would they?

Sweetheart loved every minute of this. Little Bit was a bit more unsure of these unpredictable baby goats. And there were dogs. And rusty things. And dirt. So naturally she was a bit uncomfortable. Have I mentioned she likes order and cleanliness?

And when we got home it was homeschool day at a local very fun museum type place. The tickets were cheap and we had a great time! Here are the girls enjoying our picnic. YES, that is a retention ditch behind them. There was a nice picnic area, but it was very far from our car and S wasn't there to carry the cooler and I saw other famlies doing this right by the parking lot, so we just followed suit.

Then we went on a little tram ride they offered. I wanted to capture the moment so I took a picture of the girls. Hey, wait a minute! I'm not going to be in any of these pictures. Sweetheart, will you take a picture of Little Bit and me?

Thanks!

Oh, now Little Bit wants to take one. OK--do you see Mommy and Sissy in that little screen? You do? OK, push the button!

And then a very kind girl behind us offered to take our picture.

Later, Sweetheart officially became a Brownie!

Last weekend, we attended a local pumpkin patch/fun type thing at a church nearby. Here is Grandma and the girls.

So far, this has been a really fun month! I never would have guessed how much time there would be to do fun things and still learn (maybe more than if they were in school!). I am a huge fan of homeschooling now. It feels like we are finally a family and our house is really a home instead of just a pit stop where we land each night.