I work really hard to please my husband. I'm sure it doesn't look like it when you look around our house, but every day he is on my mind. I WANT the house to be clean and wonderful looking when he gets home. I have every intention of it happening. It just never seems to come to fruition like it does in my mind.
I want to fix great suppers that the whole family likes and have everyone full and satisfied at the end of the meal, but it's a crap shoot. I feel like I just make something really quick every night. I WANT to be one of these women who make great home cooked meals that spell love to their family and everyone wants to come eat at their house. I have every intention of learning to do that. It just never seems to actually happen. We have hot dogs a lot.
I want to be really organized and track our finances and save for the future and take care of all the paperwork so my husband has no cares. I want the laundry room to look like it does in my imagination. I want the laundry to be done. I want to spend less time on the house and more time on sewing. I want to have people over more. I want to be thinner.
I want to feel like I'm doing something.....just one thing....really, really well.
Thank goodness we can't work for our salvation. Thank goodness that God's love for me is not dependent upon my performance. It doesn't feel good to always be holding a measuring stick up to yourself and be found wanting.
People in some religions feel this way. They are never really sure. They have to DO a lot of things. They cannot afford to mess up.
I am thankful for the gift of God's grace. For the Salvation offered to me by our Lord. For freedom in Christ. For His love. For His forgiveness.
I am thankful that I don't have to be enough....or do enough.
I am thankful our God is who He is.