Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Never Enough

I work really hard to please my husband. I'm sure it doesn't look like it when you look around our house, but every day he is on my mind. I WANT the house to be clean and wonderful looking when he gets home. I have every intention of it happening. It just never seems to come to fruition like it does in my mind.

I want to fix great suppers that the whole family likes and have everyone full and satisfied at the end of the meal, but it's a crap shoot. I feel like I just make something really quick every night. I WANT to be one of these women who make great home cooked meals that spell love to their family and everyone wants to come eat at their house. I have every intention of learning to do that. It just never seems to actually happen. We have hot dogs a lot.

I want to be really organized and track our finances and save for the future and take care of all the paperwork so my husband has no cares. I want the laundry room to look like it does in my imagination. I want the laundry to be done. I want to spend less time on the house and more time on sewing. I want to have people over more. I want to be thinner.

I want to feel like I'm doing something.....just one thing....really, really well.

Thank goodness we can't work for our salvation. Thank goodness that God's love for me is not dependent upon my performance. It doesn't feel good to always be holding a measuring stick up to yourself and be found wanting.

People in some religions feel this way. They are never really sure. They have to DO a lot of things. They cannot afford to mess up.

I am thankful for the gift of God's grace. For the Salvation offered to me by our Lord. For freedom in Christ. For His love. For His forgiveness.

I am thankful that I don't have to be enough....or do enough.

I am thankful our God is who He is.

11 comments:

  1. God's grace. Thank you, dear friend, for reminding me of this tonight. I needed it. :)

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  2. Wow...it's like you were reading my mind when you wrote this post. Thank you for being so honest and open....our God IS good and loving! How awesome to know that there is nothing we could do to earn God's grace...He gives it to us, when we don't deserve it! Good thoughts to end the evening with!

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  3. Grace is the most awesome gift God had given us. Unfortunately, I am not as good at giving grace to myself. Something to work on for sure...

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  4. Amen! Wonderful grace of Jesus...I am actually teaching my ladies on Sunday about that very thing. That we don't earn salvation...it's all by grace...so thankful...

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  5. Amen!! I have been stuck in the "working for salvation" pit before and it was horrible. When my heart was opened to His incredible grace, I felt like I could fly! It truly was like being born again. Thanks for the great post!!

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  6. Amen, "thank goodness we can't work for our salvation" is awesome. And thank goodness we can't lose our salvation just because of a fault or mistake on our part as well. God's gift to us is given freely and is eternal. Can you imagine how stressed we would be if we were constantly worrying about losing our salvation and having to "earn" it back.

    And you are doing that "just one thing really well" - being a caring nurturing mother and teacher to your girls. Thanks B!

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  8. Brenda,

    I originally commented on this post at the crack of dawn, but your words have stayed on my mind ever since. I couldn't figure out why, at first, but now that the girls are down for their naps and asleep (Hallelujah!) and I can think, my thoughts are coming together.

    Obviously your main point, about grace and works was a powerful one. Still, something else you said resonated with me too. You said that you think about your husband all the time though no one would know it by looking around your house. But you know what? As long as HE knows it, it really doesn't matter if anyone else can tell. His opinion is the only one that counts.

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  9. a friend posted on her fb the other day the verse about there now being no condemnation in Christ Jesus - and i sat right there and cried. because i want to be enough. all the time. to everybody. and i never am. never. and the guilt - it builds. and i felt it all fall away with His sweet words. you drive home the same sweet point. this must be my message for the week.

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I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)