Friday, February 12, 2010

When Mental Isn't Good

I've been on the road to being more feminine for quite a while. Well, not so much on the road as.....well.....OK. Basically, all I've done is talk. And think.

And I think I've come to some great conclusions. BUT, I have yet to DO anything about my conclusions. Oh sure, I wear more skirts......on Sundays. And I try to dress the girls more femininely.....except when we all wear jeans every day.

The truth is, my physical surroundings don't match my mind. What I want is not happening because I don't have what I need. So I've just sat here. I've heard that people go to thrift stores and find all manner of lovely skirts and dresses for just pennies but all I have to say about that is, your thrift stores must be different than the ones around here!

I've spent lots of time looking online at skirts and dresses and beautiful feminine clothing, only to determine that I really don't have the money to spend on all of that.

So, I've learned to make skirts for the girls. Come spring/summer, they are going to look GREAT. But in the winter? We don't have so many options. And me? No progress.

Oh don't get me wrong, I have skirts, but they all need to wait until spring and summer. Also, they are a bit too dressy for everyday wear. I feel like Sweetheart. She tells me all the time, "Mom, I don't like pretty." What she means, as best I can determine, is that she doesn't like fancy. One of her best friends is very into princesses and beautiful flow-y things and Sweetheart just doesn't get it. She wants to marry a farmer and own a bunch of animals and honestly, I can see her slopping around doing farm chores alongside her husband one day. But there's a style for her too. I believe she can still be feminine and not fancy. There is such a thing as pretty---plain and simple pretty without frills. I fit into that category myself. Skip the lace please.

So I've decided to quit thinking and start DOING SOMETHING. I found some online skirt tutorials for me. I'm going to try them. I'm scared. My sewing abilities only go so far. But I want to quit wearing jeans every single day and I certainly don't want to raise my daughters to wear jeans every single day either. S agrees---he's asked me to just look at skirts for them for the spring and summer. So I must go before them as an example.
And quit just talking about it.


  1. I am one of those who has found tons of wonderful things for steals at thrift stores. The key is going on a routine basis, setting one day aside and looking each week, this is usually when you start to find the great deals.

    You know, when I was thiner I used to always wear long gypsy style skirts while at the house, they were cool and flowing and could be paired with a 3/4 sleeve shirt from Walmart during the summer. And the skirts are easy to make, just strips of material sewn together.

    During the winter, you can still wear them and I would just put leggings on underneath them with a long sleeve shirt and a little thin black cardigan style sweater. You can still move and sit down and even sit indian style on the floor and not worry about anybody seeing your business.

    Did you change the layout of your living room, the couch looks closer to the back door now??

  2. Hmmm. Again? I have to be thinking about wearing more skirts again? Thanks, Brenda. Thanks a lot. (wink, wink.) :)

    I'm in your same situation. I want to change, but don't have what I need TO change. That must change.

    Ahem. :)

  3. OK Giovanna, good to know. I think I can hit the thrift stores once a week. Hmmm. And I just love your family's term "seeing your business." Did you ever get those bears some bloomers? :)

    Karly--absolutely not. You don't have to think about it a bit. Let me work on it and then I can pass all my knowledge down to you. DO have a sewing machine now. You are half-way there!

  4. Oh G. Yes, we did rearrange to fit the Christmas tree. Hope you enjoyed the laundry on the couch. :)

  5. (in a school yard tone) I have more laundry on my couch than you do! : )
    I will email you my favorite thrift store near us, I always find good things there. It's the only one I go to, I don't even bother with some of the others. And no, those bears are still "al naturale' I'm not worried about someone seeing their business!
    One thing at a time for me, I'm working on big girls room right now, bears will have to wait : )

  6. This is off subject, but I just wanted to say that I e-mailed you a few weeks ago after you commented on my blog. Not sure if it got lost or what, but you can contact me at :-)


    Don't know if you'd be interested, but above is the link to my post: Flashing Grandma -- Another Week in Dresses. (Don't worry, it is a clean post!)

    I've tried to be dresses only a couple of times, but it doesn't quite work out. See the post above. Even my husband really doens't like it. For me, it is uncomfortable, and besides, I live in a little rural town, no sidewalks, etc. I just end up feeling dumb, and I'm the only one. Good thing I don't think you HAVE to be dresses-only.

    I always get plenty of things given to me, and our thrift shops have lots of cheap dresses and skirts. So, it is not because I don't have the clothes. It's just that I'm uncomfortable and feel weird being the only one in dresses only. So, I don't.

  8. Civilla, I remember that post. I read it not too long ago. No....I don't think we need to be dresses only and I'm not really trying to be but I'd like to NOT wear jeans every. single. day. And I'd like my girls to grow up comfortable in skirts and dresses. I'd like to be comfortable in them too. We could look so much lovelier. :)

  9. I've wanted to dress more feminine for some time now (and not so frumpy). My daughter is very frilly, so she would be thrilled with any dress I could downfall??? I am too round (aka fat) to not "look" pregnant in a dress... that is not so pretty, lol.

  10. Sheri, I have to say that dresses have been dead to me for about 10 years. They died about the same time as "tucking shirts in" died.

    But I can do skirts and I HEAR YOU about the round factor. I do not like the way I look in most things but I cannot let that stop me. It's not like frumpy is making me look skinny. :)

  11. I totally understand you about wanting yourself and your girls to feel COMFORTABLE in skirts and dresses. This really is important. I hope I'm not scoffing or being overly-critical of others, but it pains me to see young girls feel dumb in a dress and stomp around like elephants in dresses and high heels the way a guy would if he were forced to wear them. I CAN say that I do feel comfortable in skirts, just not all the time like for doing housework or being in this little farm town. (I quit tucking in shirts, too, oh my!)

    Anyway, a good post and I think an important topic.

  12. Brenda, a store that is very popular and decently priced that my skirts only friends and I like is a store called Cato. The skirts are usually about $20 each, less if they are on clearance, and they have lots of long jean skirts, khaki skirts, and other long flowing skirts. The stuff is also trendy and fashionable rather than horribly out of style. I love the store because I'm also picky about not only being skirts only, but about the length of said skirts. They have a women's plus section and a girls section also and I've seen some very modest and pretty and fashionable things in the girls section.

  13. I am loving all the conversation going on here!!

    And I love the idea of "nobody seeing my business". That's killer Giovanna!!

    We tried the dresses only at one point too, but that was me trying to make myself holy before God and not wanting to actually change anything inside.

    I am not starting a debate about that. I know what it was for me, and I have a very dear friend who IS dresses only- I was just doing it for the wrong reasons, blah blah blah.

    Anyway, I love skirts in the summer because here it is unbearably hot otherwise, and I like looking pretty. But not lacy/frilly/1800s-going-to-a-dress-ball pretty. I'm totally with Sweetheart.

    My girls pick skirts maybe two days a week on their own. But they are also in the princess/ballerina phase. I hope they don't grow out of it, but we'll see. Being feminine (like you said) is not only about wearing dresses.

    Like everything else Brenda, I'm sure you'll figure it out and never let it go once you do!

  14. Thanks Mrs. W..we have that store around here but I've never been there. I'll have to look into that.
    Little Bit picks dresses a LOT. In fact, this winter she has pulled summer dresses out several times wanting to wear them only to realize she's freezing. Sweetheart....she would pick jeans or jean shorts every day. BUT, if that's not what's in her drawer, then what would she pick? Hmmm. I see a social experiment coming on! :)

    And may I just say that it is a crying shame that we feel weird in skirts or dresses? And that our girls don't know how to wear them? (Not ours personally but girls in general) I heard a 2nd grader say one time, "I wouldn't be caught DEAD in a dress!!!!!" Oh my.
    Never in the history of time have we had to TRY so hard to look like WOMEN!!!

  15. This is reminding me of the episodes of What not to wear. The women on there all have the same complaints/body shapes that we complain about. Too round in the stomach, too big in the rear, thighs that have their own minds. Have you checked into their website? Or watched some of their shows? Surely we can feel better about being in skirts/dresses and being more feminine without spending 5K on a wardrobe!! It's all about dressing the body you have right now, not waiting until you get the body you long for, then dressing it nicely. : )

  16. I have used this tutorial to make skirts for myself

    and this one

    They didn't turn out to "full" or "gathery" My hips don't need any help looking full.

  17. Jennifer I have had both of those tutorials bookmarked for a long time. I am so glad to hear you say they weren't too full. My hips don't need that help either and I was concerned about that. Thanks! And I wish I could find vintage sheets like that at the thrift store!

  18. This was a good post. It IS sad when you see little girls bragging that they don't own a dress. Many women are in that category, too.

  19. I've been wearing skirts for the most part for the past several months, but I too am just now gearing up to start *attempting* to make my own. We shall see. :-) Good luck!

  20. dito on the cato I love that store long skirts and always great clearence deals. Also ever think of turning some of your jeans into long skirts?


I don't get to talk to a lot of actual grown-ups during the day, so your comments make me really happy! :)