I can't remember exactly how I stumbled on this message board online, but I did. The question that had been raised was, "Should a tween be allowed to wear a bikini?" Some of the answers shocked me. I guess I'm just not used to how some folks think.
Now before I get started here.....let me first say that I grew up wearing swimsuits (bikinis were not allowed at our house) and we were expected to put a shirt on over it when we were just walking around. That's what my mom taught us. It is my personal opinion that little girls swimsuits have gotten a bit too grown up looking and basic ones like my sisters and I wore are harder to find. BUT, over the last few years I have been convicted about the huge difference between modesty standards at the pool and modesty standards outside of the pool. If I won't let my daughters wear shorts that hit mid thigh or shorter, why would I let them walk around in a swimsuit that covers no thigh? If spaghetti straps are not modest for us on a normal day, why are they OK at the pool? Just some stuff I've been dealing with.
Now, on to the comments:
From a teen (or tween): Bikinis are totally fine, I've been wearing them since I was like six. As long as they DONT show a good portion of your b**bs/b*tt they're fine!
OK. I think that's a pretty standard argument. Even from a lot of Christians.
When you tell your daughter that you don't want her to wear a bikini , that is just showing that you don't trust her as much.
I wasn't aware that trust was the issue, but apparently this allowing or not allowing is very tied up in good/bad parenting. According to these experts anyway.
I'm 15 and I've been wearing a two piece since I was little. It's fine because if my mom wouldn't let me I'd go behind her back & it's easier just letting them.
I believe by not allowing your child to wear a bikini they are way more likely to go out behind your back and buy the skimpiest one they can find. My parents let me start wearing the tank top two piece bathing suits first and then when I was big enough to fit into a bikini I got one. It was not appropriate for rough housing but for just spending the day at the beach or sitting in a hot tub it was great. The more you shelter a kid the worse they will rebel. My friend who was not allowed to wear anything other than one piece bathing suits till she was 16 has ran away from home multiple times and now has s*xy pictures of herself on facebook....(she goes on to describe exactly what her friend is and is not wearing in said pictures)
I'm 11 and I've never owned a one piece! They are much more feminine and everyone will think your daughter's got a too strict mum, which she has, and tease her. If her friends are still in full piece they wont tease her but if they are in bikinis then let her wear them. It's just mean if you tell her she can't. Just make her try it on at the shop so you can see if it fits properly. Good luck with the bikini.
I'm thirteen years old..... I think its the right age for someone to start wearing a bikini. My mom or dad won't let me and it unfair because EVERYONE wears one (I only know 1 person who isn't allowed to wear them) it doesn't seem fair because if I'm at a swimming party it means bikinis for everyone and a 1 piece for me.............. AND THERE AREN'T ANY CUTE 1 PIECES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, so after that last comment I started feeling mom -guilt. I remember being 13 and the ONLY ONE ON THE ENTIRE PLANET not allowed to do something. My sister and I were totally convinced our parents were the meanest known life forms around. I don't want my daughters to feel that way......
And then finally Mr. Dude got on the message board and spoke a word of truth:
Wives ask your husband or some male --- you should never allow such sexualization - you just have no idea what men are thinking.
Thank you Mr. Dude. Someone needs to slap some reality into these folks. And I don't expect the tween crowd to get or believe what he just said. But he speaks the truth.
THEN, we get to hear from some of the moms. I only saved one comment. Brace yourself.
People are too high strung! I let my daughter wear a bikini! She is very stylish and the boys are all over her! Your daughter must not feel very comfortable with you, because you do not let her express herself! I let my daughter shave and she is 7! The guys @ her school think that she is so hot and she already has a boyfriend that is as free-willed as she is! So I suggest that you find a comfortable bikini for her age and let herself look hot on the beach!!!
And please don't think that woman is alone in her thinking. It may be extreme, but it's not that rare. As for the other parents, I think for a lot of them it will only be a matter of time before they cave. They will decide "well, OK at 16 she can wear one but certainly not at 13!" or "well, this one is OK you see because it doesn't show near as much as these other ones do" or "all her friends are wearing them and there really isn't anything you can find different in the stores." These girls will persist until they win the coveted prize of wearing the bikini.
Now, let's hear from someone else:
I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. 1 Timothy 2:9-10
Oh I'm not here to do a study on modesty, but there are many good ones out there if you haven't studied it. This is a great, quick little study.
And if you have never looked over the results of The Modesty Survey, PLEASE take time to do so. If you are the mother of girls, it is invaluable. If you are the mother of boys, it will help you to know what your sons are up against and how you can help them (you have no control over what others wear, but TV, magazines, etc. are within our control).
One more thing. I do not hold unbelievers to the standards of God's word. It is utter nonsense to them. However, God's word is clear about the standards of believers---and I think that includes the pool.