The Annual Christmas Party Ordeal

Guess what faithful readers??? It's that time of year again! Time for husband's work Christmas party. You guys go through this with me every single year. Haven't we had fun? Let's look back on some of the better memories, shall we?

The Unfortunate Shirt Incident

The Better Living Through Facebook Incident

Facebook Success!

(The Pictures)

So....I'm thinking this year is going to be a bit more traumatic because of the whole maternity clothes kink thrown in there. Mind you, I'm not big yet and honestly could get away with wearing normal clothes but that would mean wearing last year's outfit. Or the year before that. Or some combination of the 2. And how many times can you recycle an outfit? Certain pieces, yes. But really. It's time for something new.

So I THOUGHT this one was in the bag. I looked online and found this:

Cute, right? It's long enough (some of these things hit mid-thigh! are you serious? mid-thigh when you're pregnant???) It's black. It has sleeves. It got great reviews. I liked it.

So after my doctor's appointment this morning (more on that later--and yes I was waiting to shop until I heard that heartbeat to make sure everything was OK!), we swung by Motherhood Maternity and found that they had.....size Small and size Medium. Which are not totally useless to me because I could use those sizes as a scarf in a pinch.

Just trying to be positive. The saleslady said they sell out of Large and Extra large really quickly. You don't say? Why would pregnant women be buying those sizes?

I tried on a few other knit dresses and was not pleased to discover that I look...how shall we say? LUMPY. The models do not look lumpy on the website. I think it may depend on better undergarments. Sigh. Also? It was disturbing to watch the girls trying on the belly pillow in the dressing room and convulsing with laughter. Good times.

So...Target has some nice options but most of them say "not sold in stores." Really Target? What DO you sell in your store?

I'm starting to freak out just a teeny bit. Not sleeveless. Longer than my 8 year old's dresses. Cute. Am I asking too much?

Suggestions? Ideas?

And yes, I CAN still wear that black skirt that I've worn 2 years in a row. I wore it Sunday. I could wear a cute fancy maternity top with it. And Carrie, I'm planning to wear the shoes again. OK?

Something to Guard Against

I read an article on yahoo yesterday that I could not get off of my mind all evening. You may have seen it. It was about some parents who are not revealing the sex of their 4 month old baby. They are attempting to raise the child in a gender neutral (GN) fashion.

I don't know why that article stayed on my mind so much. Are they radical? Yes. Many people would not go so far as to do what they are doing--or to allow their sons (they have 2 other children) to shop from either the boys or girls section in clothing stores and decide if they want their hair long or short. But that doesn't mean that many people do not agree with these parents at some level.

So I kept reading and googling. Apparently, some folks think a GN world would be just about perfect. They can't wait for the day when society stops placing biases and limits on people and when others stop drawing a line and saying "choose." I don't think they just want a "third category".....I think they'd like there to BE no categories.

Anyway, as a Christian this topic gets my attention and it should yours too if you are a Christian. I'll tell you why in a minute.

As I googled and read, I began to see some major categories popping up where GN is becoming main stream. In case you haven't thought much about this, perhaps these links will be eye opening.

Fashion. I already have thought about this several years ago. Children go to school wearing standardized dress of khaki or blue bottoms and a polo style shirt on top all their lives. Then, they get a job at Target, or the bank, or wherever and guess what? They wear khaki pants and a polo style shirt! There is precious little difference in how the men and women look at many places of business. The styles of military uniforms have also changed. I spoke about all this here.

But it seems to be going a step further now. Fashion designers are actually designing clothing that is intentionally GN. This means it is designed to be for EITHER sex to wear. Especially where children are concerned as there isn't as much difference in their bodies.  Check out the store sign on this article. Here is a slide show that was interesting.  If you need help figuring it all out, there is help available.

Dorm rooms. I don't remember which college started it, but it has caught on. Now it is PC to offer GN living arrangements. Many colleges are offering this type of dorm. And if you are going to offer living arrangements that are GN, then of course restrooms will follow suit. High schools are already dealing with this. As well as prom situations, homecoming situations, etc. All this is being done in the name of anti-bullying. These students must have a "safe" place. So, we must offer these arrangements. Oh, and they cannot be discriminated against.

Can you follow this path further down the road in your mind? Where does this lead? What will your local elementary school look like in a few years? What will be taught? It's already being taught in many places.

Which reminds me: children's books. Be careful at the library because there are a lot of children's books being written to address these issues. They are also being read to classes in many elementary schools.

Another major category is GN language. You know, we must say actor instead of actor/actress, etc. This, of course, moves us into GN Bible translations. Oh, don't even get me started. Read. Be aware. Be informed. The version you love may have been edited recently. Research before you buy because this one is serious. Altering the Word of God to be more "inclusive" and PC??? Not good.

So it seems this is the way our world is going. I cannot even imagine how things will be in 20 or 30 years. Obviously, we must teach about this to our children. God's word says:

 "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27

God created two sexes. Distinct and different from one another. Plain and simple. And because my Lord did this, and said that it was good, I will continue to believe that there should be a distinction. Especially among Christians because if the world is going GN, then we should stand apart from that. What does this mean? It means my girls and I will be wearing a lot more skirts and even when we wear other things, we will make sure to look as feminine as we can. As much NOT GN as possible. It means men should look like men. I know this varies from culture to culture, but there should be a distinction--both in our dress and our behavior!

And I will pray. I do not hate people who are confused about their gender, but I do hate that it is common in our world. Children are hurting, they are committing suicide. They are miserable. They have been lied to and the Liar is deceptively confusing many people. God is not a God of confusion. These people need to know the Lord and Savior. They need prayer.

So as a Christian, I will guard against the rising tide of GN in our world, I will teach my children the truth, and I will continue to speak the truth. God did not mess up. He did not make a mistake.

What do you say about all of it? What should our reaction as Christians be?

So I Found an Outfit....Almost

The annual "find something suitable to wear to the Christmas party where I'll be around someone other than my family" is in full swing. Once a year I have to go out amongst my husband's co-workers and try to look to all the world like a sophisticated adult.

So I found this yesterday:

Dress Barn

  I just love it. It will go well with a black skirt I already have, and a red shirt I have underneath. It will also go well later with a denim skirt or even pants. LOVE.

So, to top off the outfit, I need shoes. I usually wear some black flats and I'm getting tired of them and I feel I need something dressier for this event. So, I found these:

Target

But they did not have my size. I was very sad. You must understand, I really don't care about shoes. I know some women really, really love shoes, but I have never been one of them. Shoes? I'm all eh.

For some reason I fell in LOVE with these shoes and am totally convinced that they will make the outfit! I must have them! So last night I went to a different Target. No luck.
 
Via the wonderment of Facebook, I currently have two friends checking their Targets to see if they can find them AND get them to me by tomorrow night!!! We shall see if either of them have success...

Have I mentioned my friends rock? And Facebook is a big help in wardrobe crises?

Now, if I can figure out what to do with my hair, and practice having a real grown up conversation, I'll be fine.

Casually Feminine: Accessories

Did you enjoy my catchy title? Good.

I have had two accessories in my lifetime that were my absolute favorite. Whenever I added them to my outfit, no one was looking at me or my clothes or my hair or anything. If you have any flawed spots that you would prefer no one see, I highly recommend adding these to your accessory collection.

I find them harder to carry around these days.

And without a cute baby on your hip, you are so....vulnarable, so....naked, so....exposed. I mean, how am I supposed to keep my stomach sucked in all the time?

OK seriously. I'll tell you the truth, if it were up to me I would carry no purse. It is a necessary evil and I buy a new one every 5 years or so whether I need to or not. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. In the summers I prefer to find a cute bag to carry around. I used to use the excuse of "well, we are past the need for a diaper bag, but these are so easy to throw a pull up and a juice cup in" but we are past that too. I like this one at Target. Or this one. I don't carry HUGE bags, but more the size of purses.

As far as jewelry goes, I wear earrings. I usually only wear them to church or if we are "going somewhere." (Giovanna, clearly your house doesn't count since you told me you've never seen me wear any!) I do like bracelets and will wear those to church. My wedding ring doesn't fit right now, and I'm completely out of the habit of wearing other jewelry. I used to--when I went to work. I haven't worn a watch in 10 years. I am whatever the opposite of flashy is.

Make-up? See above.

Shoes. Let's see---for summer I have tennis shoes, flip flops, and sandals. If we are home I usually do wear shoes simply because we have laminate flooring and it hurts to walk around barefoot all day. I keep my toes painted but suffer from a severe lack of pedicures. On that note, I do not paint my fingernails and my nails are quite short. I do not understand how a woman can work around the house all day and keep long nails. If you can do that, feel free to explain it to me.

Here's the thing: I am not an accessories kind of girl. I don't need "extra" stuff to mess with. I know my husband doesn't prefer a lot of fussiness, so that works out well. I do not think accessories are a sin! I know some women who do a fine job of accessorizing and it makes them look lovely. I do know the Bible says our beauty should not come from those things. Still, if I knew a bit more about how to accessorize well, it would probably be good. Perhaps some of you can teach me.

I feel I've been a terrible lot of help today.

You're welcome.

And here's a question......is there such thing as "casual accessories"? If so, what are they? Do "sunglasses as a headband" count?

Join in the discussion with us and enlighten me on this whole accessories thing ladies!

Casually Feminine: Hairs the Deal

OK, now that we've got ourselves thinking about what we sleep in so our dear husbands see loveliness first thing in the morning....it made sense to start at the top.

The head. The hair on our head. I have long hair and I'm working on my daughters having long hair as well. Little Bit, bless her heart doesn't have much hair. Never has. Sweetheart has kind of half-curly/half-straight hair which translates to "poof head" or sometimes "feral child."

I've written about my reasons for keeping long hair here. No matter the length of your hair, (Little Bit decidedly does not have "long" hair yet even at the age of 6) I think it is important for it to look feminine. That will be different for different races and cultures. "Feminine" to Scotch-Irish American stick-straight-hair me might be completely different than for another lady. That's why I think it is imprtant to remember that feminine is the opposite of masculine. When you can't tell the difference between man and woman.....that's not right.

So, I'm a big fan of the clip. It's my grown-up version of the pony tail. Husband prefers my hair pulled back in a low ponytail. I prefer it down to sleep even though sometimes it seems to take over and I get all tangled up. I wish I could braid my own hair really well but my arms don't seem to want to do that.

Really, a personal hairdresser would be nice.

I don't color my hair and hope that I never decide to. I figure this is the color God wanted me to have. I very rarely go get it cut and I do almost nothing to it except on Sunday mornings I blow dry the front and top to help things along.

I've had my hair VERY short before. In fact, I would dare say that my hair has been short for far more of my life than it has been long. When I was growing up (FIRL can attest to this) I had short hair and I looked like a boy. Ug. Didn't dress much like a girl either except to church.

I don't fuss with my girls' hair much unless we are going somewhere. Sweetheart has pretty much outgrown bows in her hair, but I love these pony tail scarves I made for Christmas. I think the point is, do something. Fix it in some way or at least make sure it's clean and brushed. Every child's hair is so different I cannot tell you what you should do, but I do think we need to teach our girls that fixing their hair is a good thing. And on that note, I have a quote:

"...be not careless of the good looks that nature has given to you...untidiness and carelessness hide the beauty of kind deeds---but greatness of soul and nobility of heart hide homeliness of face...Take time to make yourself presentable, but do not use the time before your glass that should be given to loving service." --Mabel Hale in Beautiful Girlhood

Well said, Mabel. I guess to sum it up, our hair should not look like men's hair. We should strive for it to look neat and lovely, but not to the loss of more important things in life. I love to look at sites that show you how to do all these lovely updos, but remember, we are talking about being casually feminine and mostly, those hairdos don't fit into my daily life. (I'd still like that personal stylist to try them out on me though, ok?)

Whatever you do, I think we can all agree that all day bed-head is taking it a bit far. Right?


Now. Sigh. JulieMom thinks we need to discuss other hair. Unwanted facial hair. Hair in other places that our culture deems should be removed. I have 2 things to say about that.

1. The facial hair? Remove it for goodness sake. I don't want to know how. Pluck, shave, wax, whatever.

2. I'm all for shaving your legs and underarms, but remember: dressing modestly = far less concern about hair removal.

I just think women used to know this!

Your turn! Join in and share with us about your hair. Your woes, your successes, your thoughts.....how do you keep your hair casually feminine?

Compare and Contrast

I can't remember exactly how I stumbled on this message board online, but I did. The question that had been raised was, "Should a tween be allowed to wear a bikini?" Some of the answers shocked me. I guess I'm just not used to how some folks think.

Now before I get started here.....let me first say that I grew up wearing swimsuits (bikinis were not allowed at our house) and we were expected to put a shirt on over it when we were just walking around. That's what my mom taught us. It is my personal opinion that little girls swimsuits have gotten a bit too grown up looking and basic ones like my sisters and I wore are harder to find. BUT, over the last few years I have been convicted about the huge difference between modesty standards at the pool and modesty standards outside of the pool. If I won't let my daughters wear shorts that hit mid thigh or shorter, why would I let them walk around in a swimsuit that covers no thigh? If spaghetti straps are not modest for us on a normal day, why are they OK at the pool? Just some stuff I've been dealing with.

Now, on to the comments:

From a teen (or tween): Bikinis are totally fine, I've been wearing them since I was like six. As long as they DONT show a good portion of your b**bs/b*tt they're fine!

OK. I think that's a pretty standard argument. Even from a lot of Christians.

When you tell your daughter that you don't want her to wear a bikini , that is just showing that you don't trust her as much.

I wasn't aware that trust was the issue, but apparently this allowing or not allowing is very tied up in good/bad parenting. According to these experts anyway.

I'm 15 and I've been wearing a two piece since I was little. It's fine because if my mom wouldn't let me I'd go behind her back & it's easier just letting them.

I believe by not allowing your child to wear a bikini they are way more likely to go out behind your back and buy the skimpiest one they can find. My parents let me start wearing the tank top two piece bathing suits first and then when I was big enough to fit into a bikini I got one. It was not appropriate for rough housing but for just spending the day at the beach or sitting in a hot tub it was great. The more you shelter a kid the worse they will rebel. My friend who was not allowed to wear anything other than one piece bathing suits till she was 16 has ran away from home multiple times and now has s*xy pictures of herself on facebook....(she goes on to describe exactly what her friend is and is not wearing in said pictures)

I'm 11 and I've never owned a one piece! They are much more feminine and everyone will think your daughter's got a too strict mum, which she has, and tease her. If her friends are still in full piece they wont tease her but if they are in bikinis then let her wear them. It's just mean if you tell her she can't. Just make her try it on at the shop so you can see if it fits properly. Good luck with the bikini.

I'm thirteen years old..... I think its the right age for someone to start wearing a bikini. My mom or dad won't let me and it unfair because EVERYONE wears one (I only know 1 person who isn't allowed to wear them) it doesn't seem fair because if I'm at a swimming party it means bikinis for everyone and a 1 piece for me.............. AND THERE AREN'T ANY CUTE 1 PIECES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, so after that last comment I started feeling mom -guilt. I remember being 13 and the ONLY ONE ON THE ENTIRE PLANET not allowed to do something. My sister and I were totally convinced our parents were the meanest known life forms around. I don't want my daughters to feel that way......

And then finally Mr. Dude got on the message board and spoke a word of truth:

Wives ask your husband or some male --- you should never allow such sexualization - you just have no idea what men are thinking.

Thank you Mr. Dude. Someone needs to slap some reality into these folks. And I don't expect the tween crowd to get or believe what he just said. But he speaks the truth.

THEN, we get to hear from some of the moms. I only saved one comment. Brace yourself.

People are too high strung! I let my daughter wear a bikini! She is very stylish and the boys are all over her! Your daughter must not feel very comfortable with you, because you do not let her express herself! I let my daughter shave and she is 7! The guys @ her school think that she is so hot and she already has a boyfriend that is as free-willed as she is! So I suggest that you find a comfortable bikini for her age and let herself look hot on the beach!!!

And please don't think that woman is alone in her thinking. It may be extreme, but it's not that rare. As for the other parents, I think for a lot of them it will only be a matter of time before they cave. They will decide "well, OK at 16 she can wear one but certainly not at 13!" or "well, this one is OK you see because it doesn't show near as much as these other ones do" or "all her friends are wearing them and there really isn't anything you can find different in the stores." These girls will persist until they win the coveted prize of wearing the bikini.

Now, let's hear from someone else:

I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. 1 Timothy 2:9-10

Oh I'm not here to do a study on modesty, but there are many good ones out there if you haven't studied it. This is a great, quick little study.

And if you have never looked over the results of The Modesty Survey, PLEASE take time to do so. If you are the mother of girls, it is invaluable. If you are the mother of boys, it will help you to know what your sons are up against and how you can help them (you have no control over what others wear, but TV, magazines, etc. are within our control).

One more thing. I do not hold unbelievers to the standards of God's word. It is utter nonsense to them. However, God's word is clear about the standards of believers---and I think that includes the pool.

When Mental Isn't Good

I've been on the road to being more feminine for quite a while. Well, not so much on the road as.....well.....OK. Basically, all I've done is talk. And think.

And I think I've come to some great conclusions. BUT, I have yet to DO anything about my conclusions. Oh sure, I wear more skirts......on Sundays. And I try to dress the girls more femininely.....except when we all wear jeans every day.

The truth is, my physical surroundings don't match my mind. What I want is not happening because I don't have what I need. So I've just sat here. I've heard that people go to thrift stores and find all manner of lovely skirts and dresses for just pennies but all I have to say about that is, your thrift stores must be different than the ones around here!

I've spent lots of time looking online at skirts and dresses and beautiful feminine clothing, only to determine that I really don't have the money to spend on all of that.

So, I've learned to make skirts for the girls. Come spring/summer, they are going to look GREAT. But in the winter? We don't have so many options. And me? No progress.

Oh don't get me wrong, I have skirts, but they all need to wait until spring and summer. Also, they are a bit too dressy for everyday wear. I feel like Sweetheart. She tells me all the time, "Mom, I don't like pretty." What she means, as best I can determine, is that she doesn't like fancy. One of her best friends is very into princesses and beautiful flow-y things and Sweetheart just doesn't get it. She wants to marry a farmer and own a bunch of animals and honestly, I can see her slopping around doing farm chores alongside her husband one day. But there's a style for her too. I believe she can still be feminine and not fancy. There is such a thing as pretty---plain and simple pretty without frills. I fit into that category myself. Skip the lace please.

So I've decided to quit thinking and start DOING SOMETHING. I found some online skirt tutorials for me. I'm going to try them. I'm scared. My sewing abilities only go so far. But I want to quit wearing jeans every single day and I certainly don't want to raise my daughters to wear jeans every single day either. S agrees---he's asked me to just look at skirts for them for the spring and summer. So I must go before them as an example.

And quit just talking about it.

The Answer to Now What?

Last one! This is the conclusion of all my research earlier in the year. Tomorrow we are back to real blogging.

So the result of all my research into the topic of women's dress is that we must obey God's Word...dressing modestly and remembering that our true beauty doesn't come from our clothes. I knew those things already, so why couldn't I lay the issue to rest?

I felt a real call to look into these things and as I have, I have become more convinced about the need to dress more femininely. I know it isn't a command in the Bible and so if you think it's silly and there isn't any need to do it--I would understand your argument. But in light of my thoughts in this post, it just makes sense to me.

Having to put effort into looking feminine is a problem in this country and a recent one at that! Fifty or sixty years ago it was a non-issue. The opportunities and choices available to us today mean that it is acceptable for women to dress and behave very masculinely. I live around a lot of chemical plants and the women who work at those plants wear blue coveralls just like the men. Steel toed boots. Hard hats. The whole package. Women doing jobs like that is simply part of our world. However, I see no reason why a woman with a job that requires more masculine dress couldn't come home and transform herself! When she is not at work, she could still be feminine. I've said it before, doing "manly" things sometimes does NOT turn you into a man. You are still a woman--even clothes can't hide that.

But there is SO MUCH more to femininity than our clothes. THAT is the part I have learned. I have become an astute observer of people lately. I have observed what women wear, how they act, etc. You should try looking around you sometime. It's interesting.

Being feminine is how you act, how you talk, yes...how you dress, and how you are. You don't have to try to be a woman--you already are. But feminine takes a bit more work, especially in this time period when feminine behavior isn't particularly taught or expected.

A man a few computers down from me at the library let out a cuss word yesterday. It was a pretty big one. He looked to the side and saw me and said, "Excuse me" which I thought was terribly nice. Anyway, after that happened I wondered why he had to look over at me--did he not realize he was sitting next to a woman when he sat down? I suddenly saw myself. I was wearing jeans and a shirt--nothing that nice. I had my legs crossed like a guy and was leaned back in the chair. A picture of loveliness. You would have laughed to see me slowly sit up and uncross my legs, suddenly aware of how I looked.

That's what I'm talking about. I've seen very pretty women wearing lovely clothes who then opened their mouth and ruined the whole image with their ugly words, attitude, or rudeness. You can put a lovely skirt on me (and hopefully a shirt!) and if I'm smacking on gum, cussing, complaining, talking rudely to my husband, etc.....I'm not looking too feminine, you know?

So I'm striving to become more feminine and that does include different clothing than I usually wear. But it is so much more. I must figure this all out so I can teach and be an example to my daughters. And not only how to be feminine, but why it matters in the first place.

I think I've figured that last part out now.

So....Now What?

This post is going to tell of my struggle to get a grasp on femininity and my conclusions of the research I have done. I am not making conclusions for anyone else as I feel, after obedience to God...each woman (with input from her husband preferably) has to make a personal decision about what all this will mean in her own life. If you have not been reading this series, you can get caught up by clicking on the label "Women's Fashions" in the sidebar.


So.


The book series I got most of my information from had a lot of pictures in them. I loved, loved, loved looking at all the pictures. Right up until the 1960s. From what I can tell, it all fell apart during that decade. A good example of that is the Beatles. They started the decade in matching suits and ended it in...well, I think we've all seen those pictures (or remember!). And that pretty much sums up what happened to fashion during that decade.


But prior to that, women looked so lovely! I especially love the dresses from the 1940s and 1950s. I'm not sure we will ever look that lovely again. Sigh. Don't get me wrong...I love me some comfortable blue jeans! And I really love capri pants. And even more, I love not owning pantyhose. I think I'm ruined.


What really matters in all of this? Well, what God has to say about it all is what matters. We covered that in this post. So the MAIN NUMBER 1 THING that I need to concern myself with is this: are the clothes my daughters and I are wearing modest?


I began a few summers ago weeding out the hand-me-downs. Even though I think chubby toddler arms look so sweet in a tank top with spaghetti straps, I will not want my daughters wearing tank tops with spaghetti straps when they are teenagers. I decided I should implement modesty standards right away instead of waiting until "it matters." Now when we get a bag of hand-me-downs, Sweetheart can immediately pull out the ones that she knows I would not allow. And she knows why too. So in all of our clothes, the first thing I check is that they are modest.

That is no small topic either! I have studied modesty and I know it is far more than just "clothes that cover you." I've read that modesty is actually a heart attitude, but there are very physical things to think about. There is the weight of the fabric to think about (is it see-through?), the fit (too snug?), the coverage...the list goes on and on. Still, I think it's pretty easy to be modest.

If you haven't read the results of The Modesty Survey (ESPECIALLY if you have daughters!), I would encourage you to do so because it covers things (Ha! No pun intended) that I would never ever think of in a million years.

I cannot end this post without thinking about the other thing the Bible says about clothing and that is it is not where our beauty should really come from. I suppose this is where some religious groups get the idea of plain clothing. So, in addition to ensuring modesty in our clothing, we must also remember that our beauty should come from other places.

This is important to me as the mother of girls. My attitudes, the things I say about my appearance, the time I spend on fixing myself up...all these things shape my girls' perception of beauty. That is something I need to spend some more time thinking about.

Next time...combining modesty and femininity.

The Influence of Circumstances

Thank you for allowing me to re-post this series while we were out of town. I will now post the conclusion of them and get back to real blogging. Hope the re-posts have helped someone, somewhere. :)

Royalty, high society, Paris, Hollywood...many things have influenced women's fashions over the years. There is one other thing that has caused major changes to what women wore and that is outside circumstances.

One thing that necessitated a change in clothing was the bicycle. As bicycling became more popular in the early 1900s, something had to be done to the dresses women were wearing at the time. In fact, during that time women became more physically active in general. The women's dress reform movement worked to improve women's health and comfort. It was met with great protest, but did succeed in changing women's undergarments and helping women have more sensible choices for activities like biking and swimming.

Another outside circumstance that necessitated change was wartime. Throughout recent history, clothing became more utilitarian and practical during times of war, and returned to more feminine styles during times of peace. I was very interested to learn that. Skirts became a bit shorter--thereby using less fabric. Cuffs, double yokes, knife pleats, full skirts...anything that used extra fabric unnecessarily was out. During the 40s there were rations on clothing that really affected how people dressed. Also during the war, women were urged to cut their hair shorter. Hairpins were unavailable, there were coupons for hats, and safety for women working in factories was a real concern. Some movie stars publicly cut their hair shorter in the hopes that their fans would follow suit.

Of course the Great Depression affected women's fashions as well. Mostly, women had to find a way to make do with what they already had. Women learned to turn collars that were worn out, jazz up the same dress with different accessories, and re-hem worn out dresses. Fashion was not on very many people's minds for a few years. In the same way, women had to make do without certain things during wartime. They painted "seams" on the backs of their legs when nylons were not available, and wore more functional, utilitarian dresses. Which personally, I think were still beautiful!

After World War II, longer, fuller skirts returned. With no more clothing restrictions, designers responded with lots of luxury and femininity. Women had enough of functional! I think it's very interesting that women who were used to wearing jeans and shirts for factory work would return to feminine dress after the war. Of course, the books don't say how many women wanted to return to that style, just that they did for the most part. There was a major advertising campaign encouraging women to go back home to make room for the returning men who needed jobs. So although they regained their femininity, they did not have such luck holding on to their new independence. I sure would love to hear from someone who remembers those days. Anyone got a Grandma they can ask?

Interesting things I've learned....I'm telling ya.

Just a Little While Ago

This post was originally from January 24, 2009.

For quite some time I have been thinking about how women dress these days as opposed to yesteryear. What was the big deal about pants/dresses anyway? That made me curious about how we got where we are today and I started researching.

I think the really big deal about pants vs. dresses, is that pants were kind of "the final frontier" that women conquered. It has been so recent in history that this change occurred that it still seems to be a topic of debate for those who think about such things. No matter what changes happened in women's fashion over the years, pants remained the men's territory.

My oldest sister was not allowed to wear pants to Kindergarten when she started! That was in the late 60s! My mom found a picture of our family before I was born that was taken at church. She assumed it must have been taken on a Sunday morning, for she had on a nice dress, earrings, etc. But when she looked on the back of the photo, she discovered it had been taken at Wednesday evening church. She couldn't even IMAGINE dressing up that much for mid-week services now! In the early to mid 90s when I began teaching, I wore a skirt or dress, heels, and hose 4 days a week. Once a week I wore dress slacks, flats, and trouser socks with a nice blouse or sweater.

One book that I checked out from the library showed sketches of military uniforms from World War I and World War II. They were very interesting. Nearly ALL of the women's uniforms included a skirt. In fact, only 2 did not. Those were an Army field nurse (other nurses' uniforms included skirts) and some type of pilot. Now many details about the uniforms were similar to the men's, except those skirts. It was impossible to not be able to tell the difference between the two uniforms.

These days many places of employment (Target, banks, etc.) require a form of uniforms for their employees. Do you know it? Yep, khaki pants and a polo type shirt with a name tag or the company logo on the shirt. If the two uniforms were hanging up, you would have a very difficult time trying to decide if they belonged to a man or a woman. There simply is no difference. I cannot think of a place of business that has pants for the men and skirts for the women. Even restaurants have women dressed up in black pants, white dress shirt, and a tie. Boy, talk about unisex clothing! Admit it, wouldn't it shock you just a bit to see the women who work at Target in a red blouse and khaki skirt?

This really is a recent change although our children are growing up this way. And boy is it hard! Sweetheart, my 9 year old, even remarked this week, "Mom? Karen and I are the only ones who wear dresses in Bible class. Everyone else wears jeans and a shirt." Now, I will tell you that "everyone else" includes probably 2 or 3 other girls. However, they are just a bit older than Sweetheart so she is probably looking up to them, so to speak. My poor child is wearing a skirt or dress to Bible class and feels out of place! Is there something wrong here?

I've told you before my concerns about this unisex movement. I feel that it is very tied up in feminism--that's issue number one. I feel that it stems from a rebellion against who God created us to be--that's issue number two. (Not that every lady who wears pants in rebellion to God--that's not what I am saying--just the movement in general) I feel that it greatly changes the relationship between men and women, and how we relate and act towards one another...including our husbands--issue number three.

What do you say about the gender blending and unisex movement?

Who Decides What We Wear?

This was originally posted January 21, 2009.

In the 1920s, upper class society and their social calendar set the stage for what would be fashionable each season. In the spring and summertime, the wealthy had grand balls, the races, garden parties, and art exhibitions to attend. So the "fashion houses" launched their new lines of clothing for each season...and the rest of the world watched.

Clothing designers were almost exclusively housed in France and that is where America got their fashions as well. After the new line was launched, America reported on it, and women got busy getting in style.

This was no small task! For the wealthy, many changes of clothes were required for each day as not only the season determined what was appropriate to wear, but also the time of day. Even maids had "morning" uniforms and "afternoon" uniforms! I know how exhausting it can be to change clothes several times a day because I used to do that when my babies would spit up on me several times a day! :) OK--I'm no wealthy, upper class woman!

Later, during World War II, Paris was cut off and American and British designers became the trendsetters for a time. New York became the fashion center and while Paris did regain their influence later, it was never exclusive again.

But in the 1930s, American women transitioned from watching Paris for all their fashion clues, to watching the movies. Many designers followed along and offered designs based on movies rather than whatever it was Europe was doing.

In fact, so strong was this "Hollywood influence" that pants became acceptable for women to wear in part because of two actresses photographed wearing them! One was Marlene Dietrich and the other was Katherine Hepburn. (here is an interesting letter written at the time--go to the 3rd paragraph of her post) Later, jeans (called dungarees) became popular with young people after Marilyn Monroe was photographed wearing them.

How easily molded are we?

More to come!

The Royal Influence

This post was originally from Jan. 21, 2009.

This would be the longest post EVER if I tried to write it all at once. And since there is no way I can find that much uninterrupted time anyway, I'm going to do this in pieces today, OK?

Most of my research focused on this century, but if you go a bit further back, you will find that royalty was a major influence on fashion. I had a real DUH moment while I was reading. I never realized that "Victorian" referred to Queen Victoria's era. I know--I was appalled too. Queen Victoria did indeed have a major influence on women's clothing during her reign. Even black became fashionable when the Queen was widowed and began to wear her mourning clothes.

Even in the 1940's, young girls carefully watched what Princess Elizabeth and Princess Margaret Rose wore. (Picture here.) In our own time, we have been witness to the influence of Princess Diana. Royalty has truly influenced fashion for a very, very long time.

In light of yesterday's events (that was the inauguration)...I think it's clear that America's answer to royalty is sometimes seen in the First Family. I've already heard enough of what Michelle is wearing, as well as her daughters. I can see it already--more influence is coming. Certain other former First Ladies have greatly influenced women's dress as well.

So, influence #1? Royalty. More to come!

Who Tells Us How to Dress?

This post was originally from January 20, 2009.

In attempting to answer the question, "What is feminine dress?" I had to go back in history just a little bit. Well, actually I began a few years ago with the Bible and found 1 Timothy 2:9...

"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

...and 1 Peter 3:3-5...

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful."

So when I study the Bible, I conclude that my clothing should be modest and that I shouldn't be worrying myself with fancy and expensive attire. I do not believe that these verses say "thou shall not wear jewelry or braid thy hair"! This is not a command against those things mentioned---just a reminder that our beauty should not come from these things. We should be far more concerned with our inner beauty.

That's it. That's all I read.

So where does this idea to dress more femininely come from?

Well, to begin with, I truly believe God intended for there to be a difference. I spoke about that here. I also touched on it here. At no other point in history have women had to worry about "trying" to dress like women! The unisex, blending of genders concerns me.

One reason it concerns me to see men and women's roles and clothing become indistinguishable from each other is that it severely breaks down the family. The Bible speaks of the order of things in Ephesians 5:22-23 and also in 1 Corinthians 11:3. When things get too blurry between a husband's and wife's roles...the order doesn't work so well. I think the way we often dress today also encourages/enables women to behave more masculinely than ever before. And when women behave more masculinely...men sometimes behave more femininely (metrosexual anyone?)...and it all really goes against God's creation.

So, who tells us how to dress? Well, the most important source is God's Word and we have discussed that now. Tomorrow we will explore the other influences on women's clothing.

Any thoughts so far?

So, What Is Feminine?

This is a re-post. This originally posted on Jan. 20, 2009.

So, if you agree with me that God did intend men and women to be different--we were created for different purposes AND were created physically different from one another--then we have another question to answer for ourselves.

Then what is feminine? If I am not to act or dress or look or become masculine....but instead to be what God made me to be--then what does that look like?

I understand what it looks like to fulfill my role as my husband's helper. I didn't say I always DO it perfectly...just that I understand it! :) God did not intend for men and women to do exactly the same things. Does that mean I cannot change the oil in my car if it's needed? I don't believe so. Even though that is generally assumed to be a "male" task, if the oil needs changing...I'll be happy to....take it to Jiffy Lube. Being feminine does not mean to me that I sit around in a Victorian era dress, writing lovely poems with a quill pen and ink, doing needlepoint, and having perfectly smooth skin. I am my husband's helper. And ladies--there's a lot of work in that job! When Adam was sent out of the garden, God told him that with great toil he would work the land for food. Adam had just become a farmer. Although it probably wasn't Eve's primary job, I am sure she helped him at times in that labor. Just as she probably helped him by cooking the food and caring for his children and many other things.

Of course I am speculating about them. And I'm not interested in writing an entire post about wives and husbands and all that. My main point is: I was created for a different reason than my husband. We have different God-given roles. I cannot be both husband and wife. I cannot be both feminine and masculine. And yes, even though single moms have to do a LOT of both tasks--I believe they are still a woman. You don't turn into a man by doing manly things sometimes.

I have so much more to say about all this. Later today (hopefully) I will share with you what I learned in my research these last few weeks.

So far, I have made two points: God intended there to be a distinction between the sexes and feminine is different than masculine. We were intended for different purposes and I believe our dress should reflect the difference as well.

A Distinction

I'm re-posting this series I did on Women's Fashion. This post originally was from January 12, 2009.

I've been studying and researching women's dress for a while now. I guess it really started about 2 or 3 years ago, but lately I've really been interested in how we got where we are today.

When I first began reading blogs, the argument of "dresses only" was brought to my attention. I had never heard of such a thing except in thinking of our Pentecostal friends growing up. I was completely unaware that there were many Christian women who considered pants to be sinful. This really was news to me! I studied the scriptures and looked at the arguments they presented. I couldn't come to the same conclusion. Oh, I agree that many, many pants are immodest and some skirts are too. I know for some it is an issue of (believed) Biblical mandate, and for others, modesty is the cited reason for their wardrobe choices. I laid the issue to rest, satisfied that I had studied scriptures about it.

But I haven't been able to completely shake it from my mind.

And it's not because I gained some new insight into scripture and guess what? it really does say we are supposed to wear only dresses! because...I don't believe that.

Still, there was something about it all. What was it?

The first time I heard that pants were sinful I was really thrown for a loop. WHAT? Women have worn pants for as long as I can remember. I was photographed with Santa when I was nearly 2 wearing blue corduroy overalls. (And yes, Santa did think I was a boy.) What exactly is the issue? Women have "women pants" and men have "men pants", right?

Then I heard about distinction and things started making a bit more sense. God created Adam and Even differently. I'm thinking since they were originally wearing no clothes, that distinction was glaringly obvious to them! There was no shame in their nakedness until sin entered the picture. So imagine, if you will, Adam in his birthday suit. He's been working in the Garden for a while now, he's named all the animals and no suitable helper was found for him. He was incomplete. God caused Adam to fall asleep and took one of his ribs and formed the woman. Now when Adam wakes up, there is beautiful, soft, curvy Eve, also in her original birthday suit. How beautiful she must have looked to Adam! God created her to be attractive to him, no doubt. He also made her to be a suitable helper for him--a purpose completely different than Adam's.

Can you agree with me that God made the two sexes distinctly different from each other? Not only were Adam and Eve looking at physical differences between the two of them, but they were created for entirely different purposes! When they were punished and sent out of the Garden, they were given entirely different curses. These two people...representative of all men and women to come...were very, very different from one another. God recognized this, and surely so did Adam and Eve.

Now let's flash forward to today--to 2009. The women's liberation movement has left it's big 'ol footprint on our society in so many ways that honestly, we don't even recognize it sometimes. For women my age and younger, well, we grew up with feminism. "Anything boys can do girls can do better!" is what we sang on the playground. When I was teaching they sang, "Girls rule, boys drool." Heaven knows what they are saying now! Feminism has affected our families, jobs, marriages, country, churches, government, children, the statistics of our population, and yes...our fashion. It's not even possible to discuss women's clothing and not include a study on the history of feminism.

But today I only want to make one point: God created men and women differently. Originally, there was a distinction. Guess what? There still is no matter how badly some would like to erase that fact. No matter what we say goes in marriage and family--only females can have babies--and you still need a male to participate in the making of that baby in some capacity. Physically, we are still different although we try to hide that fact with our clothing.

Do you suppose if women could totally mask the differences seen with the naked eye, then they would be treated as equal? Of course not! Women who join the military must have some things different. No matter how much they would prefer to be treated "just like any other soldier", women have their per*ods while they are in combat. I cannot even imagine that! Women who are soldiers get pregnant. Women who are soldiers are NOT able to do the same physical tasks that men can do.

You can dress like a man, talk like a man, walk like a man, hold a job like a man....but you are still a woman. We have smudged it, but it cannot be erased.

That's my point today. BUT, the crazy, mind-blowing part of all this is....

...people saw this coming!

I borrowed a book called Women Are Wonderful! A History in Cartoons of a Hundred Years With America's Most Controversial Figure. I'm giving full credit for this book, which was published in 1956 and edited by Cole and Robinson. I would like to share a few cartoons from this book with you.

The caption on this first one says, "In some cases it's hard to tell whether they're boys or girls--except by the earrings."

That cartoon above is from the late 1920's and was making fun of "the short skirts and boyish figures" popular during that time. Of course women weren't actually walking around looking that much like men, but the cartoonist saw the road ahead. Perhaps they thought they were only joking!

The woman in this next cartoon, from 1945 says: "I bet you're glad to see an American girl after those horrible savages in the Pacific." And of course, the young man is stricken. I have to say, this cartoon was just a bit convicting. I understand completely how this young sailor would have loved to come home to a lovely feminine girl and just look what he got! How is that different from my husband coming home at the end of the day? Gulp!

Amelia Bloomer popularized the baggy pantaloons worn under skirts that were intended to allow women to participate in more activities. They didn't catch on quite so well at first and were quite shocking to many.

Interesting to me that this cartoonist from the late 1800's saw much further down the road. I would have really thought that women were just fighting for dress reform. But if a cartoonist could see the end result of these changes, did the women (and their husbands) involved in the reform efforts also see the end result? It is entitled "The Bloomer Girl's Wedding."

And the book says, "A picture to put the fear of God into any man in 1896." But really, are you that shocked by it today?

Some think of it as purely a fashion thing. But I think it speaks of so much more.

What do you say about distinction between the sexes?

I Am So Over My Hair

******Edited: I made up my mind!!! See below.*****

What do you do with your hair on a daily basis?

If you have longish hair (shoulder length or more)....what do you usually do with it? I am so tired of the 2 or 3 ways I wear my hair every single day.

I've read all the links on Ladies Against Feminism and I really don't have a desire to learn to do styles from the early 1900s anyway. As if I could. Oh I think some of them are lovely but what I would really need is a personal hairdresser.

I am CONVINCED that if I only had a personal hair and make-up person that I could look perfectly smashing every day.

And that profile picture of me over there? Yeah. It's from nearly 3 years ago. FYI my hair is half-way down my back and I have bangs, although not severe Kindergarten bangs, you know?

What do I do?????

Before. Bored with my lifeless do.

After. Now I have sprung to life again!!!Thanks everyone! ;)

Fitness Friday: The Summer Edition

I really need help. I have dreamed about wearing beautiful long flowing skirts all winter and yesterday I tried one on and I looked TERRIBLE! I guess I haven't lost as much weight as I feel like I have. Or maybe something's wrong with our mirror.

Or maybe, and this is probably it...I need some new clothes. My skirts are pretty, but I need some better shirts to go with them. It's so hard. I don't really like a lot of what is being sold in stores today.

Here's my real dilemma: there are modest clothes to be had. There are beautiful, modest skirts and dresses to be had, but so much of what I see when I shop online is way too fancy for my life.

It's like Stacy and Clinton. Their "weekend outfits" they come up with for people make me crack up! If I wore one of their weekend outfits to Wednesday night Bible study people would wonder why I was so dressed up! My life is either just far too casual, or clothes are just far too dressy.

Or maybe it's that there is no middle ground. There is either really, really casual stuff and I don't want to spend my summer or my life being that casual because I believe my husband deserves better, in spite of his comment on my last post, than seeing his wife slop around in jeans and t-shirt every single day. Or, there are beautiful clothes which I cannot even imagine wearing around. More and more I feel out of place in a skirt at church. Skirts are definitely the minority. And I want to wear more beautiful clothes on a daily basis---but what?

ACK!!!!

Don't even get me started on swimwear, OK? I'm not willing to swathe myself and my daughters in yards and yards of fabric. I appreciate the modest swimwear I find online. I really do. I agree that it makes no sense to insist that my daughters' shorts are long and their skirts aren't too short and they don't wear spaghetti strap tank tops.....and then go out in a swimsuit that shows everything we've been covering up! I mean, I do choose modest swimsuits for the girls--as far as swimwear that is offered in the stores today I pick what's modest. But really, it doesn't make much sense.

And as for myself? Oh it's a fine line between modest and Granny swimsuit. No offense to any grannies out there, but I'm 38 and husband would rather not see me looking 70 until I AM 70, you know? I want modest...not frumpy.

So I need help for summer. I need links. I need advice. I'm ready.